


The Dangerous Kind

by Maolin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Break Up, Dungeons, FLARP, FLARPing, Multi, Shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-05-17 12:26:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 53,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5869432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maolin/pseuds/Maolin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would have happened if Nepeta hadn't listened to her moirail and got involved in the dangerous kind of roleplaying? Before the 12 trolls were even aware of Sgrub, another game was taking over their lives - Flarp. In an alternate universe, a simple decision results in tragic consequences that are far worse than the horrific acts seen in the alpha timeline...can you just imagine it...?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Simple Invitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta arrows have been fixed! So yay :)

adiosToreador [AT] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]  
AT: hEY, uHH, aC?  
AC: :33 < *ac yawns after waking up from a little cat nap*  
AC: :33 < *she licks her paw and rubs her ears before inviting her furrend Tavros inside*  
AT: rIGHT, uH, *aT GOES INTO HER CAVE,  
AT: aND SITS DOWN,  
AT: oR, sOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES,*  
AC: :33 < *ac mews happily as her guest gets comfurrtable*  
AC: :33 < *she offurs at a cup of tea with purrlenty of sugar in it!*  
AT: uH, i,  
AT: i MEAN, aT,  
AT: hE TAKES A SIP OF TEA,  
AC: :33 < *ac rubs up against at and then curiously asks why he has come ofur to s33 her today?*  
AT: oH, wE WERE JUST WONDERING IF YOU WANTED TO PLAY A GAME WITH US,  
AT: aND BY WE,  
AT: i MEAN ME, tEREZI, vRISKA AND, aRADIA,  
AC: :33 < that sounds like a lot of fun!  
AC: :33 < what kind of game is it?  
AT: iT’S A ROLE PLAYING GAME,  
AT: bUT, uHH, kIND OF LIKE REAL LIFE TOO?  
AT: i DON’T KNOW,  
AT: hAVE YOU HEARD OF FLARP?  
AC: :33 < i love rp games!  
AC: :33 < theyre my favfurrite!  
AC: :33 < and yes I think i have heard of flarp but i do not know much about it  
AT: yES, i THOUGHT YOU LIKED THEM,  
AT: tHAT’S WHY I ASKED YOU TO PLAY, rEALLY,  
AC: :33 < i would love to play but i should purrobably ask my meowrail first  
AC: :33 < he can be strict about games ://  
AT: oK, iF THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO,  
AT: jUST, uH, wRITE ON THE FLARPING MEMO BOARD, wHEN YOU’RE READY,  
AT: oR MESSAGE ME,  
AT: i DON’T MIND,  
AC: :33 < ok!  
AC: :33 < i will be back soon!  
arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]

Nepeta wriggled her tail in excitement as she closed Tavros’s chatbox and opened one with Equius. This game sounded really fun! She’d always loved role-playing, but FLARP really took it to the next level. Ooh, she wondered what class she would be? Rp games allowed you to use magic powers unheard of in the real world, but still, Nepeta was most comfortable using melee weapons since she had grown used to using her razor claws to hunt down prey. She started typing her introduction in the chatbox as fast as her little paws could! 

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]  
AC: :33 < *ac crawls silently in the long grass of the empty chatbox*  
CT: D--> What are you doing  
AC: :33 < *ac gives up on stalking mysteriously because she has some exciting news!*  
CT: D--> What is the news  
AC: :33 < *ac pounces into the mew of ct and skips ofur to him*  
CT: D--> You will stop this  
AC: :33 < *ac wraps herself around cts legs and begins to purr*  
AC: :33 < *she settles at his feet and blinks up at him with content*  
CT: D--> Nepeta stop with this f001ishness this instant  
AC: :33 < ok ok mr grumpy!  
AC: :33 < you are so mean! you nefur join in my rping :((  
CT: D--> We have di%ussed this before, I do not find any pleasure in playing along with your silly little games  
AC: :33 < theyre not silly little games!!!  
CT: D--> However you see them, my point still remains  
CT: D--> I will not play and you shall stop  
AC: :33 < ugh fine whatefur  
AC: :33 < anyway i had something impurrtant i wanted to ask you!  
AC: :33 < can i have purrmission to flarp with vwiskers tavros terezi and aradia?  
CT: D--> Abso100tley not  
CT: D--> It is a dangerous game and you shall not play it  
CT: D--> I forbid it  
AC: XOO < rawwwwwwwwrrr!!!  
AC: :33 < no just let me play!  
CT: D--> Nepeta I only want what’s best for you  
CT: D--> You are too delicate and need my prote%tion  
AC: :33 < its just a game equius!  
AC: :33 < my fureinds have invited me to play and so i will  
CT: D--> Don’t be ridiculous they are not your comrades  
CT: D--> I cannot allow you to continue these friendly e%changes you have been having with the lowb100d  
AC: :33 < his name is tavros  
AC: :33 < dont call him a lowblood just to be mean!  
AC: :33 < the hemeowspectrum is a bunch of junk :PP  
CT: D--> The hemospectrum is a beloved tradition and has been a part of troll culture for many sweeps  
CT: D--> Its teachings are as true and relevant today as any other day throughout history  
AC: :33 < then why do you hang out with me?  
AC: :33 < arnt i too unworthy and olive green to be your meowrail???  
CT: D--> You  
CT: D--> You are an e%ception Nepeta  
AC: :33 < i wish you would s33 efurryone fairly  
AC: :33 < or at least TREAT efurryone fairly  
CT: D--> Our differing views on the hemospectrum is not a subject i like to di%uss  
CT: D--> I don’t enjoy arguing with you  
CT: D--> But I would appreciate it if you listened to me and took my advice  
AC: :33 < i wont!  
CT: D--> Yes you will  
AC: :33 < no  
CT: D--> Yes  
AC: :33 < no  
CT: D--> Yes  
AC: :33 < no  
CT: D--> Yes  
AC: :33 < no  
CT: D--> Yes  
AC: :33 < no  
CT: D--> Yes  
AC: :33 < ughhh stoooppp!!!  
AC: :33 < i dont care what you say im doing it anyway!  
AC: :33 < bye!!!  
CT: D--> No  
CT: D--> You will listen to me  
CT: D--> Do not play that treacherous game for females  
CT: D--> Even if you are also female  
CT: D--> Nepeta?  
CT: D--> This is una%eptable behaviour Nepeta  
CT: D--> ...  
CT: D--> Hrrrkk  
centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

Ugh, who cared what that stinky moirail of hers thought? He made her so mad sometimes! She was fed up with his hemospectrum preaching and silly orders, for once she was going to do what SHE wanted to do. She couldn’t even be bothered to close her chat with Equius, she simply minimized it and pulled up the flarping memo board in its place.

 

arsenicCatnip [AC] opened memo on board FLARPING EXTRAVAGANZA  
AC: :33 < *the curious kitty p33ps into the memo and starts batting the furnny letters and colours*  
AC: :33 < *she pricks up her ears and purrs at all her furiends as they read her introduction!*  
adiosToreador [AT] responded to memo  
AT: oH, hEY NEPETA,  
AT: sO I GUESS HE SAID YES?  
AC: :33 < actually no :((  
AC: :33 < but im going to play anyway!  
AT: oK THEN, iF THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT,  
AT: wE, uH, aRE GLAD TO HAVE YOU,  
arachnidsGrip [AG] responded to memo  
AG: wait, since when was Nepeta flarping with us?  
AT: i, uHH, i INVITED HER,  
AG: Tavros what the hell!  
AG: You need to discuss with the team 8efore you just go randomly adding new players.  
AT: oH, sORRY,   
AT: i JUST THOUGHT THAT NEPETA WAS A GOOD ROLEPLAYER,  
AT: uHH, yEAH SORRY, i SHOULD HAVE ASKED,  
AG: Damn right you should have asked.  
AG: Now we have to have this awkward talk in front of her.  
AC: :33 < um i could leave if thats what you would like :((  
AG: Don’t 8e stupid, it’s not your fault Toreador messed up.  
AG: I mean, I’d 8e all down for you playing too 8ut now we have an odd num8er of players >::::P  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] responded to memo  
GC: 1M SUR3 W3 C4N WORK SOM3TH1NG OUT  
GC: 1D H4T3 TO LOS3 SUCH 4 STRONG ROL3PL4Y3R  
AG: I must admit I have heard rumours of her outstanding rping  
AG: 8ut still, what are we expected to do a8out the odd num8er?  
GC: 1 4GR33 TH4T TH3 T34MS MUST B3 F41R  
GC: SO W3 N33D ON3 MOR3 PL4Y3R, R1GHT??  
AG: Right.  
AG: W8.  
AG: Oh please no.  
GC: H3 M1GHT NOT B3 TH4T B4D  
AG: For fucks sake, he’s not going on my team!  
GC: W3 W1LL SORT OUT IND1V1DU4L T34MS L4T3R  
GC: BUT FOR NOW W3 JUST N33D TO 1NV1T3 H1M...  
AG: W8 we should tell Aradia first  
AG: Not trying to pull a Tavros are we????????  
AT: uH,  
GC: OF COURS3 NOT >:]  
GC: 1 W1LL F3TCH H3R TH1S 1NST4NT!!  
apocalypseArisen [AA] responded to the memo  
AA: hi!  
AA: s0rry i wasnt replying earlier  
AA: i didnt see the chat  
GC: W3LCOM3 4R4D14  
GC: W3 H4V3 SUMMON3D YOU H3R3 TO D1SCUSS 4 V3RY 1MPORT4NT M4TT3R  
AA: 00h 0k  
AA: what is it  
GC: YOU M4Y OR M4Y NOT H4V3 NOT1C3D TH4T W3 H4VE 4 N3W F4C3 1N OUR M1DST  
AC: :33 < hi!!!  
AA: hi nepeta!  
AA: are y0u flarping with us  
AC: :33 < i think so yeah  
AA: yay!  
AA: i cant wait t0 play with y0u  
AC: :33 < i cant wait either!  
GC: Y3S Y3S  
GC: FORM4L1T13S 4S1D3  
GC: T4VROS 1NV1T3D N3P3T4 1NTO TH3 GROUP ON H1S OWN 4CCORD  
GC: W3 H4V3 D3C1D3D TO L3T TH1S SL1D3 4ND 4LLOW H3R TO ST4Y DU3 TO HOW 4W3SOM3 SH3 1S  
GC: BUT NOW W3 H4V3 4N ODD NUMB3R OF PL4Y3RS  
AA: 0h  
AA: are we g0ing t0 have t0 have uneven teams  
GC: W3LL W3 W3R3 TH1NK1NG TH3R3 1S ON3 MOR3 P3RSON W3 COULD H4V3 BUT H3S 4 B1T OF 4 DOUCH3 >:[  
GC: TH1S H4S TO B3 4 GROUP D3C1S1ON  
AA: that sucks but 0k  
AA: id rather play with a d0uche than have an unfair game!  
GC: OK ON3 VOT3 FOR 3R1D4N  
GC: VR1SK4?  
AG: ughhhhhhhh fine.  
AG: 8ut like I said, not on MY team!  
GC: W3 W1LL T4LK T34MS L4T3R  
GC: T4VROS WH4T DO YOU S4Y?  
AT: wELL, iF EVERYONE ELSE WANTS HIM, tHEN UHH,  
AT: i GUESS I DONT MIND,  
GC: GR34T  
GC: 4ND F1N4LLY N3P3T4  
AC: :33 < i get a vote?  
GC: SUR3 1 M34N YOU 4R3 P4RT OF TH3 T34M NOW  
AC: :33 < ok!  
AC: :33 < well i wouldnt want to step on anybodys tail and go against the majority so i will vote eridan too  
GC: OK TH4TS F1V3 VOT3S FOR 3R1D4N 1NCLUD1NG MY OWN  
GC: 1LL GO NOT1FY H1M NOW  
AG: Ahhhhhhhh this is going to suck!  
AG: I swear to God whoever’s team he is on I will annihilate the shit out of them.  
AG: Just 8ecause i want to kill him again and again and again.  
AC: :33 < why do you hate him so much vwiskers??  
AG: Haven’t you ever spoken to him?  
AC: :33 < not really ://  
AG: Well that makes sense.  
AG: Anyone who’s ever had the misfortune of holding a conversation with Mister Ampora will know of his unfathoma8le stupidity.  
AC: :33 < thats a little harsh  
AA: it really isnt  
AA: i try t0 av0id him t0 the best 0f my abilities  
AA: which isnt that hard actually c0nsidering he despises all landdwellers  
AA: especially l0wbl00ds like me  
AC: :33 < ugh he sounds a lot like my meowrail  
AC: :33 < i hate the hemeowspectrum so much!!!  
AA: s0me tr0lls just d0nt understand that bl00d c0l0ur is just bl00d c0l0ur  
caligulusAquarium [CA] responded to memo  
CA: so i heard you guys needed my kelp  
CA: wwell don’t you wworry because im here noww  
AG: And I immediately regret voting for this arrogant prick.  
CA: wwell you did an you cant take it back noww can you vvris?  
AG: I revoke my vote on Eridan.  
GC: FOUR VOT3S FOR 3R1D4N 4ND ON3 VOT3 4G41NST  
CA: GLUB GLUB  
CA: vvery funny but i still havve the majority  
AA: i rev0ke my v0te  
GC: 1 CONCURR  
GC: SORRY 3R1D4N  
GC banned CA from responding to the memo  
AC: :33 < now we have an odd number again  
AG: No way! Ok we didn’t think this through.  
GC: W3 W3R3 TOO B4DLY 4FF3CT3D BY H1S DOUCH1N3SS  
AG: Yeah that’s pro8a8ly what happened.  
GC: 4ND SO W1TH 4 H34VY H34RT  
GC unbanned CA from responding to the memo  
CA: wwell that wwas fuckin rude  
CA: maybe i wwont play anymore after all  
AG: You should 8e happy that we’re even giving you the opportunity.  
AC: :33 < please play eridan we n33d you! :((  
AG: Nepeta can it with the 8egging!  
CA: hey at least somebody appreciates me here  
GC: LOOK IF W3 4R3 4LL R34DY TO PROC33D 1 TH1NK W3 SHOULD CR34T3 TH3 1ND1V1DU4L T34MS  
GC: SHOULD W3 GO W1TH TWO T34MS OF THR33 OR THR33 T34MS OF TWO?  
AG: I think the more teams the 8etter!  
AG: It’s more of a challenge ::::)  
AA: three teams 0f tw0 s0unds g00d t0 me t00  
AT: i DONT REALLY MIND, sO,  
AT: wHATEVER YOU GUYS WANT IS FINE,  
AC: :33 < i don’t care i just want to start playing!!!  
CA: yeah wwhatevver  
GC: OK TH3R3 W1LL B3 THR33 T34MS OF TWO  
GC: 1 TH1NK TH3 F4IR3ST W4Y TO VOT3 FOR T34MM4T3S 1N TH1S S1TU4T1ON WOULD B3 TO ALL S4Y YOUR D3SIR3D N4M3 4T TH3 3X4CT S4M3 T1M3  
GC: 1LL 4LLOW 4 M4X1MUM OF TWO N4M3S P3R PL4Y3R SO 1TS 34S13R TO ORG4N1S3 TH3 T34MS  
GC: SO 3…  
GC: 2…  
GC 1…  
GC: GO!  
AG: Terezi.  
GC: VR1SK4 OR 4R4D14  
CA: nep  
AA: tavr0s 0r terezi  
AC: :33 < tavros!  
AT: uH, aRADIA MAYBE?  
AT: oR NEPETA,  
AT: oR, uH, vRISKA OR TEREZI,  
AT: i DONT KNOW, uHH, MAYBE EVEN ERIDAN?  
AT: i REALLY DONT MIND I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN AND PLAY,  
AG: Hahahaha wow Tavros, good work at choosing a maximum of two people!  
AG: Really, 8ravo! 8ravo!  
GC: HOLD ON 4 F3W MINUT3S L3T M3 WORK TH1S 4LL OUT  
AC: :33 < eridan why did you vote for me?  
AG: Yeah Eridan, whyyyyyyyy????????  
AG: Not red for the kitty cat are we?  
CA: shut the fuck up vvris  
CA: i vvoted for nep cause she was the only one wwho wwasnt a fuckin ass to me  
CA: an to be honest i kinda thought shed vvote for me too  
AC: :33 < oh  
AC: :33 < sorry eridan  
AG: Hahahahahahahaha you got rejected so hard! Like always :::;)  
CA: wwhale its not like you wwere hauling in the vvotes either!  
AG: Hey i got one from Terezi, and technically one from Tavros as well.  
AG: Which is 8etter than you!  
CA: come on you got half a vvote from ter and tavv vvoted for evveryone  
CA: not much of an achievvement reely  
AG: I’m this close to 8anning you again fish 8oy!  
CA: wwhat an leavve yourshellf with an odd number again  
CA: sure go ahead  
AG: You 8etter 8elieve I’ll do it!!!!!!!!  
AA: 0k 0k lets calm d0wn  
AA: i h0pe terezi d0esnt put y0u tw0 in a team t0gether  
AA: then again im sure the 0ther teams w0uld surge ahead whilst y0u bickered like wrigglers s0 maybe itd be fine  
AG: Don’t get your hopes up Megido, Terezi would never put me with such an incompetent idiot.  
AG: She knows i have standards!  
CA: an im sure ter wwouldnt pair me wwith such a motherglubbin small fry of a teammate  
AG: I swear to the Condesce that as soon as we enter that game I am going to seek out and destroy you Ampora.  
CA: im lookin forwward to it serket  
GC: OK SO 1 H4V3 TH3 T34MS  
AG: Finally, what took you so long?  
GC: 1 W4NT3D TO G3T 1T R1GHT OK?  
GC: G1V3 M3 4 BR34K  
GC: 4NYW4Y TH3 T34MS 4R3 4R4D14 4ND T4VROS  
GC: N3P3T4 4ND 3R1D4N  
GC 4ND M3 4ND VR1SK4  
AG: Hahahaha 8ad luck Nepeta  
AC: :33 < its ok i dont really mind whos team im on  
CA: yeah wwell im happy to be wwith you nep instead of any of those losers  
AA: im als0 happy with my team!  
AT: mE TOO,  
AG: Same, so we’re all ready to get started?  
GC: 1 TH1NK SO  
GC: 3V3RYON3 GO CR34T3 YOUR CH4R4CT3RS W3 ST4RT TH3 G4M3 TOMORROW 4T M1DD4Y

gallowsCallibrator [GC] closed memo  



	2. Game Start

Nepeta scrolled through the available classes for her to play as, but eventually decided to select ‘Sailor Kitten’. The Sailor Kitten class allowed increased agility and dexterity, and it was also a melee fighting class. Another reason for her decision was the absolutely adorable outfit that came with the Sailor Kitten; a white shirt that came paired with a blue-and-white striped skirt and matching blue shoes, the shirt also had a little navy blue neckerchief with two thin white stripes on the edge, and the neckerchief was held in place with a little pin of a black kitten with four eyes.

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]  
CA: hey nep  
CA: i wwanna be the clouder if thats ok wwith you  
AC: :33 < sure!  
AC: :33 < im still getting the hang of the game so its purrobably best  
CA: cool thanks  
AC: :33 < in fact  
AC: :33 < i dont even know what a clouder is really!  
CA: wwait  
CA: do you even knoww the rules of the game  
AC: :33 < well yeah its roleplaying  
CA: yeah but this is flarp  
CA: so its pretty fuckin different too  
CA: damn it did i get stuck wwith a novvice or wwhat  
AC: :33 < hey shut up!  
AC: :33 < i may be new to flarp but im an expurrienced roleplayer!  
CA: ok ok fine  
CA: wwhat class are you  
AC: :33 < sailor kitten  
CA: of course you are  
CA: wwhy did i evven ask  
AC: :33 < its an adorable class dont deny it  
CA: oh no im not denyin anyfin  
CA: the sailor kitten class is an adorabomb for any team  
CA: chuck in a sailor kitten and the game explodes into an aftermath of death and dowwnright cuteness  
AC: :33 < h33 h33!  
AC: :33 < yeah thats what im talking about :))  
AC: :33 < what about your character?  
CA: i wwill be playin as Orphaner Dualscar  
CA: hes based on my ancestor  
AC: :33 < oh right  
AC: :33 < yeah i heard terezi and vwiskers were basing theirs off of their ancestors too  
CA: its a thing wwe havve done for swweeps  
CA: wwe all hold great admiration for our ancestors an heritage  
CA: but its not somethin id expect an olivve blood to understand  
AC: :33 < um :((  
CA: no offence of course  
CA: its just a hemospectrum thing  
CA: the higher the blood the higher the respect for our captivvatin history  
AC: :33 < ok yeah i know thats what all the evidence s33ms to say  
AC: :33 < but i think its pawsible for anyone to like history no matter your stupid blood colour :PP  
CA: blood colour isnt stupid  
CA: you insolent fuckin landwweller  
AC: :33 < dont call me names!  
AC: :33 < you mean silly seadweller!  
CA: this is ridiculous  
CA: you cant speak to me like that im your superior  
AC: :33 < oh yeah well just watch me!!!  
AC: :33 < youre a rude hemeowspectrum preaching idiot with stupid hair!!!  
CA: HEY leavve the hair OUTTA this  
CA: my hair is great an you knoww it  
AC: :33 < h33 h33 whatefur  
CA: man i had no idea you could be such a handful  
CA: i thought you wwere meant to be the cute an cuddly kitty one  
AC: :33 < even kittens have claws doofus ;))  
CA: um  
CA: right  
AC: :33 < what?  
CA: nothin i just  
CA: ok nothin nevvermind  
CA: changin topic right here and noww  
CA: has your grub laid its eggs  
AC: :33 < what is that suppawsed to mean???  
CA: for fucks sake nep  
CA: your GRUB  
CA: the thing that starts the wwhole entire game  
AC: :33 < oh right you mean the black worm on the floor?  
CA: its a grub and yes  
AC: :33 < i dont know what you mean by laying its eggs but it is laying on the floor  
CA: ok wwell just wwait a wwhile and it should start to break open and release these little ball shaped eggs  
CA: wwhen the eggs havve been laid theyll disperse across the terrain and the game wwill start  
CA: it shouldnt be too long  
CA: maybe the other teams are taking ages to create their dumb characters or somethin  
AC: :33 < oh my...  
AC: :33 < whats happening to its body  
AC: :33 < ew! ewww!!!  
AC: :33 < what the hell is this!!!  
CA: i literally just explained wwhat its doing  
CA: its laying its eggs calm the fuck dowwn  
AC: :33 < i cant calm down!!!  
AC: :33 < how am i meant to calm down???  
AC: :33 < its body is being torn apart right in furont of me!!!  
CA: chill out an wwatch the miracle of life nep  
AC: :33 < what the heck?!  
AC: :33 < ew theres blood efurywhere!  
CA: ok thats pretty fuckin stupid considerin you paint your cavve with blood  
CA: howw much more hypocritical can you get  
AC: :33 < this is diffurent stupid! >:((  
CA: howw is this different  
AC: :33 < fur starters this poor creature isnt even dying to be eaten  
AC: :33 < all the animals i kill are so i can eat them and i have to!  
AC: :33 < this one is just dying and thats sad and horrible!!!  
CA: wwell if it makes you feel better you could alwways eat it  
CA: im not gonna judge you  
AC: :33 < eridan ampurra what is wrong with you?!  
CA: hahahaha im just kiddin around  
CA: if you eat the grub the game wwill probably crash so dont do it  
CA: plus its gross as fuck  
AC: :33 < you dont need to tell me that its gross   
AC: :33 < ugh what even is this confursation  
CA: this is the start of a beautiful relationship betwween teammates nep  
AC: :33 < h33 h33 sure  
AC: :33 < one based on nibbling carcasses  
AC: :33 < that sounds so normeowl!  
CA: sounds normal enough to me  
CA: but then again im the guy wwho slays innocent sea creatures in their thousands to feed the speaker of the vvast glub to protect the planet  
AC: :33 < oh yeah i always furget about that  
AC: :33 < thanks i guess :))  
CA: wwhat do you mean  
AC: :33 < just thanks fur working so hard  
AC: :33 < without you a lot of trolls would purrobably be dead!  
CA: er thanks nep  
CA: that actually means a lot  
CA: no one evver thanks me for all my wwork  
AC: :33 < youre welcome  
AC: :33 < you are like a troll superhero!!!  
CA: i like to think of myself as more of a wwizard  
CA: evven though magic isnt real that is  
AC: :33 < i dont know  
AC: :33 < magic could be real  
CA: wwhy do you think that  
AC: :33 < well anythings pawsible right?  
CA: hahaha that is so naïvve  
AC: :33 < hmm >:((  
CA: no i mean in a cute wway  
CA: its adorable  
CA: seariously  
AC: :33 < you really n33d to work on your social skills  
AC: :33 < and your fish puns for that matter!  
CA: hey wwhat the fuck is wwrong with my fish puns  
AC: :33 < nothing theyre just way too inconsistent  
AC: :33 < if fish puns are your quirk then you n33d be more dedicated!  
CA: wwell fuck you dont insult my fish puns  
CA: my quirk is none a your fuckin business  
AC: :33 < ok ok  
AC: :33 < i was just saying  
CA: wwell dont  
CA: anywway i only really use fish puns wwhen speaking to fef  
CA: so you should feel honoured wwhenever i let one slip to a dirty olivve blood like you  
AC: XOO < oh my raawrrrr  
AC: :33 < what is WRONG with you???  
CA: wwhats wwrong wwith YOU  
CA: insultin me like that outta nowwhere  
AC: :33 < it wasnt an insult get ofur yourself  
AC: :33 < how can you s33m so mice half the time and so stupid the other half?  
CA: im nice all the time actually  
CA: youre the one wwith the fuckin problem  
AC: :33 < no im not!  
AC: :33 < rawrrr youre such an idiot  
CA: ok nep look  
CA: i appreciate your interest  
CA: and im flattered an all  
CA: but dont you think youre bein a bit too forwward about this  
AC: :33 < what  
AC: :33 < oh damn it eridan i am not flirting with you!!!  
CA: you can deny it all you like but the evvidence is on the screen  
AC: :33 < you know im starting to realise why the others didnt want you to join!  
AC: :33 < and i wish i voted no when i had the chance!  
CA: wwhat  
AC: :33 < wait i didn’t mean it like that  
AC: :33 < sorry  
AC: :33 < that was a bit out of line  
AC: :33 < um eridan  
AC: :33 < :((  
CA: just  
CA: havve the fuckin eggs hatched yet  
AC: :33 < um  
AC: :33 < yeah theyre just hatching now  
CA: those bats are gaming flarpstractions  
CA: they hold all the data for the game  
AC: :33 < oh cool  
CA: yeah i guess  
CA: they should fly out of your hivve noww  
CA: the game kinda controls part of wwhat they do and i control part since im the clouder  
AC: :33 < hey you never actually told me what that was  
CA: oh right  
CA: the clouder makes scenarios for the other team  
CA: so im ar and tavvs clouder  
CA: i think ar is the clouder for ter and vvris  
CA: an vvris is our clouder  
CA: get it  
AC: :33 < uh yeah thanks  
CA: great  
CA: ok wwell i guess ill meet you in the game  
AC: :33 < yeah ok then  
AC: :33 < see you soon  
CA: yeah  
caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

Nepeta watched as the little purple and pink bats fluttered out of the window and spread themselves out of view, over the bumps and hills outside her cave. She chewed her claws as she waited to be told what to do next. She couldn’t really ask Eridan for help now, she didn’t want to bother him. Ugh, why did she have to be so insensitive? What she said was really mean, and she felt guilty, even if he did seem to be asking for it. She could contact a member of a different team, but she didn’t really want them to know about the slight hostility between her and her teammate. They could use it against her in the game! Especially Vwiskers, she’d probably do something underhanded like that, and she wouldn’t put it past Terezi either.

Nepeta was considering exiting the game to go find a flarping rulebook, when one of the bats returned to her.

The bat circled Nepeta three times before coming to a gentle hover above her head. Ten wavering bars appeared just below it, filled with purple block colours at varying levels.

“Hey!” she heard someone yell from outside. She peered outside her cave’s small window to see Eridan outside in full flarping attire, waving his ahab’s-crosshairs in the air at her.

“The game’s started!” he yelled, “are you coming or what?”


	3. Diamond in the Rough

Nepeta scurried outside to meet with Eridan, hoping there wouldn’t be too much tension after their edgy conversation. She was wrong.

Eridan rolled his eyes and made snarky comments every time she hesitated to attack an enemy or simply missed with her long daggers.

“How in the name of Her Imperious Condescension,” he breathed angrily as his head fell into his hands after maybe three hours of pointless training, “do you keep missing? It’s right in front of you!”

“I know but it’s hard!” Nepeta protested as she kicked at the ground, her weapon hanging limply by her side in defeat, “I’m not good at fighting…”

“Then how the hell are you not dead for real yet?” he questioned arrogantly, picking up the little imp they had been training against by its foot, “aren’t you meant to be some kind of kittycat shipper cave girl who lives in the dangerous wilderness or something?”

“I hunt, and hunting isn’t the same as fighting!” Nepeta insisted.

“How is it not the same?”

“For starters I always use my claws,” she said disgruntledly, “not these stupid mini-swords. They’re so hard to use!”

“They’re long daggers, not mini-swords,” Eridan replied, sighing deeply, “Specifically, they are naval dirks. They were often used by pirates and sailors during the on-going wars between seadwellers and landdwellers, that’s why your Sailor Kitten class has them. Get your history right.”

“Well sorry I don’t spend my entire life studying morbid stuff like wars like you do!” she answered then stuck out her tongue playfully, “anyway, dirk is a stupid name for anything, it sounds like it’s trying to be too cool. I’m going to call them mini-swords instead.”

“But that’s wrong,” he grumbled.

“I don’t care!” she giggled.

Eridan paused for a moment before shaking his head and dropping the upside down imp from his hand which was becoming more and more agitated by the second.

“Whatever, ok, just hit it,” he said, “we’re not leaving here until you’re at least level two.”

Nepeta struck again. The naval dagger, dirk, mini-sword, whatever it was, missed entirely and Nepeta was sent flying towards the ground as she missed the target.

“Ow…” she whimpered as she stood up, brushing herself off.

“Oh Glub, are you kidding me?” Eridan groaned.

“I’m so close to levelling up, please can we just stop?” she complained, secretly a little embarrassed by her failure.

“I told you, we can’t stop until you reach level two,” he replied in an irritated tone, “if you don’t level up at least once you’ll be in serious trouble if you get attacked when I’m not around.”

“But…”

“One more hit or so should do it,” he prompted, “come on, just one more.”

She took an exasperated breath in and eyed up the imp…she pounced!

This time the enemy was taken more by surprise and her aim was perfect! With a few scratches and stabs, the creature was dead and Nepeta earned her valuable XP points. She watched as her stats changed as she finally reached level 2, her dual wielding skills gaining a bonus since this was the method in which she fought.

“Yes!” she squealed, jumping up in triumph.

“Haha,” Eridan chuckled, “at last.”

Both of their systems suddenly chimed a notification noise and a small holographic chat box appeared in front of each them. The trollian app remained active on their computers so everyone could stay in touch with characters in-game and real trolls outside the game. It was extremely necessary for team speak as well as safety reasons. It appeared this time as though there had been messages on the group memo, so they both opened it up eagerly.

arachnidsGrip [AG] opened memo on board FLARPING EXTRAVAGANZA   
AG: So you fiiiiiiiinally levelled up.  
AG: Congratulations kitty cat!  
arsenicCatnip [AC] responded to memo  
AC: :33 < uh thanks vwiskers!  
caligulousAquarium [CA] responded to memo  
CA: dont thank her nep shes bein sarcastic  
AC: :33 < oh  
AC: :33 < it didnt sound sarcatstic to me!  
AG: Nepeta.  
AG: It was.  
AG: But dont 8eat yourself up a8out it.  
AG: Some trolls are just slower than others.  
CA: lay off alright vvris  
AC: :33 < yeah why are you suddenly being so mean?  
AG: Well we’ve started the game now.  
AG: It’s no more sunshine and rain8ows from here on out.  
AG: Now we’re mortal enemies!  
AC: :33 < but right now were out of character!  
AC: :33 < it doesnt count on memos :((  
AG: Hey as long as we’re playing the game, it counts.  
AG: Friendly rivalry is what makes this game fun and I’m not 8reaking that off for the sake of feelings!  
AC: :33 < oh fine  
AC: :33 < its not like im not going to find you and say mean stuff to you too!  
AG: Ooh wow tough talk.  
AG: Hahahaha 8ring it on!  
apocalypseArisen [AA] responded to memo  
AA: break it up guys!  
AA: lets try t0 keep this chat a safe place  
AG: No screw that Megido!  
AG: Whats the point in having a flarping chat if you cant russle some feathers?  
AG: Or fur in this case.  
AA: nepetas new t0 this th0ugh s0 d0nt be t00 mean  
AC: :33 < thanks but its ok aradia!  
AC: :33 < if vwiskers wants a rivalry then shell get one!  
AG: Do you mean she’ll or is eridan just getting to you with his shitty puns?  
CA: my puns arent shitty for fucks sake  
CA: wwhy the fuck havve you gotta be insultin me all the time  
AG: 8ecause you’re so easy to make fun of ;;;;)  
CA: stop hittin on me already vvris  
CA: for the last time im not interested  
AG: Hahahahahahahaha as if!  
AG: Dont flatter yourself.  
CA: oh come on dont deny it  
CA: those wwinky faces  
CA: all your little digs an insults  
CA: its painfully fuckin obvvious you wwanna be my kismesis  
AG: Get off your high fucking seahorse already  
AG: I wouldn’t 8e your kismesis if you were the last asshole on Alternia.  
CA: good cause i dont wwanna wweak kismesis  
CA: only the best wwill do to keep up wwith my plans  
AG: If you think I, the great Vriska Serket a.k.a Marquise Spinneret Mindfang.  
AG: Would make a weak kismesis then you o8viously don’t know the fucking definition.  
AG: The pro8lem, Eridan, is that you wouldn’t ever 8e a8le to handle what I would throw at you.  
AG: So if I were you I’d 8ack off 8efore you clip your delicate fins.  
CA: i swwear to the motherglubbing condesce that I wwill hunt you dowwn mindfang  
CA: ill givve you a battle like youvve nevver seen before  
CA: i wwill unleash so much fuckin pain onto you that youll be beggin for the vvast glub to burn your vvulgar landwweller guts  
CA: just fuckin wwait  
AG: I can't wait Dualscar >::::)  
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased responding to memo  
CA: same to you mindfang  
caligulousAquarium [CA] ceased responding to memo  
AA: well  
AA: that was kinda h0t 0_0  
AC: :33 < !!!  
arsenicCatnip [AC] closed memo

“What the fuck was that?” Nepeta squeaked in a tense, strained voice.

“What the fuck was what?” Eridan replied.

“That!” Nepeta repeated and poked her finger through the hologram memo board, “that whole thing right there!”

“You mean Vris?” he replied nonchalantly, “no big deal, she just really winds me up. I think she does it on purpose, damn girl’s obsessed with me.”

Nepeta slapped her face against her hand.

“Seriously though is this a kismesitude we’re talking about?” she asked, “because that’s actually a pretty big deal!”

“I guess it would be a big deal,” he agreed, “if it were true. No I don’t want Vris as a kismesis, ok?”

“No, not ok, because I don’t believe you!”

“Why does it matter to you?” he asked questioningly, “were you hoping to reserve me for yourself? Pretty fucking selfish if you ask me.”

“Ugh, no!” she spat, “I just care about your quadrants is all!”

“And why do you care so much?”

“Because…because team dynamics that’s why!”

“You hesitated a bit there.”

“No I didn’t!” she screeched uncomfortably.

“Look, Nep, I get it,” he said, “I only have three quadrants left to fill and you’re beginning to worry you won’t have anywhere to go, but I wouldn’t fill a quadrant with somebody if it wasn’t right.”

“Eridan, for the last fucking time,” she hissed, “I don’t want to be in a quadrant with you.”

“Then why are you getting so worked up?” he pressed.

“Because of my shipping charts that’s why!” she yelled out of nowhere. Seeing his surprised expression, she carried on, knowing she couldn’t easily turn back now. “I ship trolls, so I have to keep track of everyone’s quadrants…”

She looked up and saw Eridan’s cheeks puffing up with air and turning violet, his eyes were starting to water up and his lips were clamped shut in a barely restrained grin.

He was going to laugh. And then he did, going into full-blown hysterics.

“Hahahahahahahahaha!” he screamed, collapsing onto the ground, “that’s your hobby? Serioulsy? That’s probably the saddest, most embarrassing thing I’ve ever heard!”

“Oh shut up,” she grumbled, crossing her arms.

“Wait so who am I shipped with?” he asked excitedly, “what about Fef? What about YOU?”

“I’m not disclosing any information!” she said sternly, “it’s private.”

“That’s not fair,” he argued, “you can’t just tell me this and then not give me the juicy bits!”

“Well too bad!” she retorted, sticking out her tongue.

“Wait a sec…” he said, his eyes diverting to her hive just behind her, “you’d keep all this stuff at home right?”

“Huh?” she said, and then caught on, “hey no, Eridan no, that’s MY hive!”

He lunged past her, racing towards the cave but Nepeta was faster. She tackled him to the ground and forced his face into the dirt, she thought for a second she heard him muffle the words “ugh, filthy land!” but his mouth was filled with mud.

She tore him onto his back and sat on top of him, her feet pinning down his arms and her face just above his, panting shallowly. She grinned and lent down until her lips were less than inch from his ear, buried in the thick black locks of his hair, she whispered mischievously “you’re my prey, Mister Ampora.”

 

***

An unexpected beep came from Nepeta’s trollian app.

It was Equius.

She bit her lip, trying to decide whether to teach this one stubborn douchebag a lesson or to talk to another one. Oh, that was too harsh really, Equius wasn’t a douchebag he was just looking out for her! In his interfering, controlling, douchebag-y way...

“I’ve should take this,” she said and opened her chat messenger.

“What?” Eridan said, “let me up then. Nepeta. Nepeta get off!”

By then she had zoned out of the conversation, not really caring if Eridan’s body remained stuck under hers for however long.

centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling arsenicCatnip [CT]  
CT: D--> Nepeta  
CT: D--> Nepeta  
CT: D--> Hello  
CT: D--> Nepeta  
CT: D--> It is necessary that we talk  
AC: :33 < equius  
AC: :33 < equius  
AC: :33 < hello  
AC: :33 < equius  
CT: D--> Do not mock my attempts to conta% you  
CT: D--> Your recent behaviour has been most undesirable  
AC: :33 < blah blah whatefur  
CT: D--> This is e%actly what I am talking about  
CT: D--> I believe it is the inf100ence of these perilous rogues you have been communicating with as of late  
AC: :33 < theyre my furiends and i like them  
AC: :33 < so maybe im more of a rogue than you think!  
CT: D--> They are dangerous trolls  
CT: D--> I command you to stop for the sake of your safety  
AC: :33 < do you want me to stop fur my sake or yours equius?  
AC: :33 < beclaws it looks to me as if youre just jealous of the mew people in my life!  
CT: D--> That is a ridiculous claim  
CT: D--> Why on Alternia would I be jealous of the two lowest b100ds on the hemospectrum  
CT: D--> A possibly mad inferior whose life consists of spite and spiders  
CT: D--> The teal b100d seems sensible enough I must admit but she cannot be trusted if she chooses to spend her leisure time participating in such activities  
CT: D--> And a di%usting seadweller  
AC: XOO< thats a load of hoofbeastshit!!!  
CT: D--> Language Nepeta  
AC: :33 < i dont care!  
AC: :33 < all you do is make fun of my furiends like it isnt a big deal but it IS a big deal!  
AC: :33 < aradia and tavros are the kindest trolls i know and it doesnt matter what colour their blood is so get ofur it already!  
AC: :33 < terezi is super pawsome and smart and i trust her so it doesnt matter to me if you dont!  
AC: :33 < vwiskers might be reckless sometimes but shes fun and exciting which is more than you!  
AC: :33< and who cares if eridan is a fucking seadweller???  
AC: :33 < hes actually sw33t and funny and i like eridan just the way he is and being a seadweller doesnt change anything!!!  
AC: :33 < and if this is the way you want to treat the people I care about then  
AC: :33 < well then maybe were not meant to be meowrails!  
AC: :33 < so just BUZZ OFF!!!  
arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT]

She closed down the chat angrily, breathing heavily and clenching her fists.

“Hey…Nep…” Eridan whispered softly from below, “you ok?”

Her fists started to shake, and then her breathing became quicker and started to quiver. Then her eyes started to fill up with olive green tears. She violently erupted into tears, sobbing into her hands and wailing loudly as she gave in to her emotions.

“Whoa, whoa, hey it’s ok!” Eridan responded, he took ahold of her back and shuffled up from under her, “Nep, what happened? Tell me, I might be able to help…”

She opened her mouth but no words came out, only disjointed blubbering noises which made no sense. After a few more tries and a lot of slow breathing, she managed to release the devastating sentence “I think I just broke off my moiraillgiance with Equius…”

Eridan drew her in tighter, her head resting on his chest as her body jolted with the pains of loss and emotion yet again. One hand rubbed her back gently, the other stroked her hair as she buried her soaking eyes into his grey shirt. He reached behind him and grabbed the edge of his cape, it was rather similar to his usual violet cape except this piece of flarping attire was long-sleeved and a much brighter shade of his blood colour, in addition it had some small golden cufflinks on the back of the collar with his sign etched into it. He shrouded the material around the girl, cocooning her, and held her close without uttering a word. Nepeta reached out, clenching the boy’s shirt and sniffling into it, allowing her olive tears to roll down her face and be absorbed by the violet wavering lines on his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry this is so late! I literally have no excuse, I've just been a piece of shit. But i really hope this chapter makes up for it a bit!


	4. Bending the rules

gallowsCalibrator [GC] opened memo on board FLARPING EXTRAVAGANZA  
GC: 1T 4PP34RS 4S THOUGH W3 H4V3 4 S3R1OUS 1SSU3 ON OUR H4NDS  
GC: 1T H4S B33N BROUGHT TO MY 4TT3NT1ON  
arachnidsGrip [AG] responded to memo  
AG: 8y me!  
AG: I was the one who realised and was outraged 8y this distur8ing fact.  
GC: Y3S 1T W4S VR1SK4 WHO F1RST NOT1C3D  
AG: Thanks to my awesome vision 8fold.  
AG: Which has now come in useful for the 800000000th time to save your asses from yourselves.  
GC: Y3S Y3S OK WH4T3V3R  
GC: 4NYW4Y TH3 PO1NT 1S TH4T NO ON3 1S K33P1NG 1N CH4R4CT3R  
GC: WH1CH 1S FUCK1NG PR3POST3ROUS  
AG: Looking at you Team Nepidan.  
AG: Don’t forg8 I’m your clouder so I’m always watching :::;P  
arsenicCatnip [AC] responded to memo  
AC: :33 < sorry i guess i furgot  
AC: :33 < its kind of hard to remember to stay in character as well as act it out yourself  
AG: Tut tut, and I thought you were meant to 8e an expert at roleplaying!  
AC: :33 < im a purrfesional!  
AC: :33 < i just havent b33n feline myself lately...  
AG: Well get over it and get in character.  
AG: 8ecause I’m a8out to release much some tougher enemies on you hahahaha!  
AC: :33 < dont be mean :((  
AG: Then don’t 8e pathetic.  
caligulasAquarium [CA] responded to memo  
CA: fuck off vvris you dont knoww wwhat youre talkin about  
AG: Oh stop sticking up for her all the time.  
CA: so i cant stick up for my teammate noww  
CA: any other fucked up ideas you wwanna get outta that thick think pan a yours  
AG: Yeah, how a8out the idea of you also getting in character?  
AG: Or get the fuck out.  
CA: then havve fun resetting your game  
CA: haha you need me noww wwevve started  
AG: I’d destroy the game if it meant not having to play with such a terri8le flarper as you anymore!  
CA: wwoww you really are the most insufferable stinking landdwweller i havve evver met  
AG: I’m glad to hold the title.  
AG: Why don’t you run 8ack home to your fishy princess already?  
CA: Maybe i wwill  
GC: UGH STOP  
GC: 1M G3TT1NG 4 H34D4CH3 >:[  
CA: shes the one being an imbecile  
AG: As if, retard.  
GC: S3R1OUSLY TH1S 1SNT FUNNY OR 4MMUS1NG  
GC: JUST STOP  
GC: FOR 4LL OUR S4K3S  
CA: wwhatevver ter  
GC: GR34T  
GC: SO 1S 3V3RYON3 W1LL1NG TO ST4Y 1N CH4R4CT3R NOW?  
AG: Yessssssss!  
AC: :33 < sure  
AC: :33 < i guess  
CA: only if nep is ok wwith it  
AG: And why wouldnt she 8e?  
AC: :33 < :((  
AG: Ok what the fuck is wrong with you guys?  
AG: Cheer. UP!  
GC: S3TTL3 DOWN OK  
GC: T4VROS? 4R4D14?  
apocalypseArisen [AA] responded to memo  
AA: sure im 0k with it  
AA: but t0 be h0nest i may have been neglecting my r0le playing a bit lately t00  
AG: Why the hell is that?  
adiosToreador [AT] responded to memo  
AT: uHH, tHATS MY FAULT REALLY,  
AT: i KEEP SLIPPING, iN AND OUT OF CHARACTER,  
AT: sORRY,  
AG: Uuuuuuuugh are you all a 8unch of amateurs or WHAT?!  
AG: Are you seriously telling me that Terezi and I are the only ones keeping character????????  
AT: uH,  
AG: Shut up. If you don’t have anything useful to say then shut up.  
AA: vriska st0p  
AA: y0ure 0verreacting  
GC: 1 4GR33  
GC: W3LL 1F NO ON3 1S ST4Y1NG 1N CH4R4CT3R TH3N DO YOU TH1NK W3 SHOULD JUST B3 OURS3LV3S?  
AG: Terezi have you gone quite mad?  
AG: This is ROLE PLAYING.  
AG: The roles can’t 8e ourselves!  
GC: >:[  
GC: W3 C4N ST1LL H4V3 OUR CHOS3N CL4SS3S, 1TS NOT 4 B1G D34L  
GC: R3M3MB3R N3P3T4 1S N3W TO TH1S  
CA: i think its a great plan  
AG: Well of course you do.  
AA: i like it  
AA: it will be fun t0 see h0w we w0uld react t0 situati0ns instead 0f 0ur characters!  
AT: yEAH, iT SOUNDS GOOD TO ME,  
GC: N3P3T4?  
AC: :33 < okay  
AG: “Okay”? Just “okay”?  
AG: We’re changing the fundamental rules of flarping for you, and all you have to say is “okay”?!?!?!?!  
CA: leavve her alone shes goin through some tough emotional shit right noww  
AG: And what kind of emotional shit is this which is messing up my game?  
CA: its not my right to say  
AG: Fuck you. Nepeta?  
AG: It 8etter 8e real fucking good.  
AC: :33 < um  
AC: :33 < its about me and equius  
AC: :33 < we are not meowrails anymore...  
GC: W3LL SH1T  
AT:,,,,,,,,,  
AA: 0h n0!  
AA: are y0u 0k?  
AC: :33 < kind of but not really :((  
AG: I guess that’s a good enough reason to 8e upset.  
AG: 8ut may8e still not good enough to fuck with the rules.  
AG: So who 8roke it off?  
GC: B1T P3RSON4L VR1SK4…  
AG: What? I’m not allowed to enquire????????  
AC: :33 < its fine  
AC: :33 < it was me  
AG: Wait. Then what the hell are you complaining a8out?  
AC: :33 < its not like i wanted to!  
AC: :33 < he left me with no other choice!  
AG: Suuuuuuuure he did.  
AG: Its ok, no8odys 8laming you here. Hes a pretty lousy guy anyway, I get that you wouldn’t want him as your palemate.  
AC: XOO < stop ripping on my meowr-  
AC: :33 < i mean  
AC: :33 < hes still my furiend so stop it!  
AA: st0p being a bitch already!  
AA: cant y0u see shes upset?  
AG: Whatever, chill out.  
AG: Anyway, I still don’t see why her relationship pro8lems have to affect MY game.  
AT: bECAUSE WE ARE FRIENDS,  
AT: uHH, rIGHT?  
AG: You still don’t have anything useful to say, do you?  
AG: No. So please continue to shut the fuck up Tavros.  
AA: vriska thats my fucking teammate s0 watch it!  
CA: yeah quit bein an uptight piece of shit about this  
CA: shes our friend and wwere gonna support her  
CA: and if that means bendin the rules of flarpin then so be it  
AG: 8ut this isn’t just 8ENDING.  
AG: This is straight out a8use of the game!  
AG: And I refuse to comply with your stupid changes.  
CA: fine wwith me  
AA: and me  
AG: Ugh.  
AG: Terezi can you talk some sense into these dwee8s?  
GC: W3LL 1F TH3 M4JOR1TY W4NTS TO DO 1T TH1S W4Y TH3N 1 WONT CH4LL3NG3 1T  
AG: 8ut!  
AG: I came here to fucking rp! Don’t you dare take that away from me.  
AG: I need to, Terezi.  
GC: H3Y LOOK  
GC: HOW 4BOUT YOU 4ND 1 RP WH1L3 TH3 OTH3RS DON’T, OK?  
AG: Soooooooo…  
AG: It would 8e Mindfang and Redglare vs the others?  
GC: Y3S  
AG: I guess I’m cool with that.  
AG: As long as Spinneret Mindfang gets to live on.  
GC: SH3 W1LL  
GC: SO C4N W3 ST4RT PL4Y1NG 4G41N 4LR34DY?  
AG: Sure.  
AA: 0k  
CA: course  
AT: yEAH,  
AC: :33 < uh huh  
AG: I hope youre appreciating this Nepeta.  
AG: And 8elieve me, I’m coming for you first.  
CA: oh for the motherglubs sake can you stop  
GC closed memo  
CA opened memo  
CA: hey i wwasnt done there  
GC: Y3S YOU W3R3  
GC: STOP BL4CK FL1RT1NG W1TH H3R 4ND G3T 4 MOV3 ON W1TH TH3 G4M3  
GC banned CA from responding to memo  
AG: Terezi what the fuck!!!!!!!!  
GC banned AG from responding to memo  
GC closed memo

“Black flirting?! ME?!” Eridan shouted in disgust as he shut down the chat box, “why would I be black for someone as pathetic as her?”

“I don’t know,” Nepeta shrugged, “it did look that way though.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Eridan shrieked, “I would never stoop that low.”

“Ok, if you say so,” she replied gloomily.

Eridan stopped for a second and peered over at his teammate. “Oh shit sorry,” he said to her, “I guess you don’t really want to be talking about quadrants right now.”

“No it’s fine,” Nepeta said, forcing a weak smile, “I don’t mind. I like talking about romance anyway.”

“Yeah I heard you were into that,” he replied, “Kar told me.”

“Kar?” she repeated, perking up, “why were you talking to Karkitty about me?”

“Well it wasn’t about you specifically, it was about flarp and you just happened to come up in the conversation,” Eridan explained, “we’re bros, we talk quite a lot.”

“Really?” Nepeta asked curiously, “What else did he say about me?”

“Um, just the general stuff I guess,” he said, “he said you like cats, shipping and stuff.”

“Ok but what were his exact words?” she prompted eagerly.

“I can’t remember exactly,” Eridan replied suspiciously, “why are you so interested?”

“I just want to know what people are saying about me is all,” she answered defensively, “do I have to have a reason?”

“Guess not,” he said, “but can I ask you something?”

“Sure…” she said cautiously.

“Are you red for Kar?”

“What?! NO!” she squealed, her cheeks rapidly turning an olive shade of green, “why would you think that?!”

“I don’t know, just a feeling I guess,” he said with a shrug, but Nepeta thought she caught sight of a sly little smile, “so who are you red for?”

“That’s none of your business!” she yelped awkwardly.

“Aw come on,” he grinned, “if you tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.”

“No way, creep!” Nepeta retorted and held up her middle finger, “let’s just go to a dungeon or something already.”

“I’m going to keep asking,” he said, following her as she started walking off, “Are you red for Kar? Are you red for Kar? Are you red for Kar?”

“Stop it!” she wailed, running a few feet ahead of him.

“Are you red for Kar?” he repeated irritatingly, “But Nep, are you red for Kar?”

“What are you, one sweep old?” she rolled her eyes and continued marching ahead of him.

He grinned as he whipped out his tablet and started scrolling through his Trollian contacts, and every now and then repeating the burning, yet tedious, question. Of course, it would be easier to just pull up the holographic chat box, but that was way too noticeable and he felt that Nepeta may maim or seriously injure him if she happened to lay her eyes upon the coveted text he was tapping out.

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
CA: hey man youre totally right  
CA: nep is so red for you its fuckin comical  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO HER?  
CA: nothin  
CA: just asked her if she wwas red for you an she started freakin out like nobodys business  
CA: it wwas so damn obvvious  
CG: DUDE YOU DON’T JUST ASK PEOPLE WHO THEY’RE RED FOR.  
CG: THAT’S LITERALLY THE CREEPIEST SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?  
CA: i wwas curious  
CA: dont you wwanna knoww  
CG: I TOLD YOU I *DO* KNOW.  
CG: I’VE KNOWN FOR FUCKING SWEEPS ERIDAN, I’VE TOLD YOU THIS.  
CA: wwell yeah but dont you wwanna knoww for SURE  
CG: NO I DON’T.  
CG: DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I DON’T WANT TO KNOW FOR SURE?  
CG: IT’S BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE SHITSTORM OF A LIFE I WILL HAVE AFTER HEARING THAT INFORMATION. I DON’T WANT TO KNOW AND THEN CARRY OUT THE CIVIL FUCKING DUTY OF ADDRESSING THE SITUATION THAT COMES WITH IT. NO. FUCK THAT. FUCK THAT AND FUCK YOU.  
CA: but seriously though  
CA: kar  
CG: WHAT?  
CA: are you red for nep  
CG: I HAVE TOLD YOU THIS SO MANY TIMES THAT IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL DO AN ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTE OFF MY HIVE AND LAND SO HARD ON THE GROUND THAT MY KNEE WILL THRASH INTO MY THINK PAN, DESTROYING MY ALREADY DECAYING SPONGE, GRANTING ME ETERNAL PEACE AT LONG FUCKING LAST.  
CG: THE ANSWER IS NO.  
CA: ok ok  
CA: if youre sure  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?  
CA: nothin  
CG: STOP LYING, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. I CAN TELL YOU’RE JUDGING ME.  
CA: im not judgin anythin i swwear  
CA: except maybe denial  
CG: RIGHT THAT’S IT.  
CG: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’VE OFFICIALLY PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH WITH YOUR INFERNAL FUCKING RETARDATION THAT I CAN’T STAND TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE.  
CG: AND WE’RE TALKING ABOUT ME HERE.  
CG: THE ONLY PERSON LEFT WHO’S STILL WILLING TO TOLERATE YOU.  
CA: thats not true actually  
CA: ivve got plenty a friends  
CG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
CG: YOUR FUCKING PLANKTON DON’T COUNT MAN.  
CA: ha ha vvery funny  
CA: but i flarp noww so you knoww  
CA: im hangin out wwith nep right noww actually  
CG: HOLY SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING FLARPING?  
CG: THAT’S A GAME FOR GIRLS, YOU’RE GOING TO DIE.  
CA: its not exclusivvely for girls so i can play if i wwant  
CA: and i do wwant  
CG: OK. HERE I AM. OFFICIALLY WARNING YOU. RIGHT NOW.  
CG: YOU DO NOT WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME.  
CG: GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU’RE STILL IN ONE FUCKING PIECE.  
CA: calm dowwn kar its just a game  
CA: i knoww the risks and i still wwanna play  
CG: OK, WHATEVER!  
CG: BUT IF YOU END UP GETTING SAWN IN TWO OR BLOWN UP BY SOME MAGICAL SHIT THEN DON’T EXPECT ME TO COME ALONG AND TIE YOUR DISGUSTING SAVAGED VIOLET INNARDS BACK TOGETHER.  
CA: theres no such thing as magic dont be dramatic  
CA: im pretty sure i can handle my fuckin self  
CG: FINE.  
CG: JUST TRY NOT TO EXPIRE.  
CA: dyin isnt the plan  
CA: anywway ivve got nep wwith me right noww to wwatch my back so its not like im doin this solo or anythin  
CG: OH FUCK, I FORGOT. NEPETA.  
CG: THANKS FOR THE REMINDER THAT I SAID I WAS DONE TALKING. WHICH STILL REMAINS A SOLID FUCKING FACT, SO BYE ASSHOLE.  
CA: see you around  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]


	5. First Dungeon

“Are you sure this is the way, Eridan?” Nepeta asked uncertainly, “there’s nothing out here.”

“Course I’m sure, I can read a fucking map,” he replied, holding up the scrap of paper they had found buried underground earlier, accompanied by a note which read: ‘Here’s a map to help you to your first dungeon. Have a 8last, guys! - V’

But the map had only led them further into the vast sandy landscape they were now navigating. There appeared to be nothing but rocks and dunes for miles, definitely no tell-tale signs of nearby imp-infested caverns or anything of the sort.

“We’ve been walking for ages, you must be reading it wrong!” she cried tiredly.

“I told you, I’m reading it fine!” Eridan insisted, holding the map far above his head as Nepeta attempted to pounce up and grab it, “we’re nearly there, ok? Just trust me, it’s this way.”

Nepeta sighed loudly and kicked sand at him from behind.

“Hey, mind the cape,” he commented.

“It’s not a cape, it has sleeves. It’s a jacket, idiot,” she replied.

“It’s still a beautiful piece of attire, so fuck off and stop ruining it,” he said.

She kicked sand once more.

“I swear to Glub, Leijon!”

“Hey look!”

“What?”

“More rocks!”

“Screw you…” he grumbled, “what’s wrong with you lately? You’ve been acting really weird for days, it’s fucking annoying.”

“Oh well I apologise for disturbing you in any way, humble sir,” she answered sarcastically, “sorry not everyone can be as happy-go-lucky as you.”

“If you think I’m happy-go-lucky then you need to take a serious time out,” he said, rolling his eyes, “you were always the chirpy, cute one. What happened? Now all you are is moody. Is it because of Eq? For fucks sake I’m beginning to hate that guy.”

“Why do you hate him?” Nepeta asked. “A hemeowspectrum worshipper who’s willing to lick any highblood's boots. I thought he’d be your kind of guy.”

“Well yeah, but he still hates seadwellers.” He replied. “Which is pretty fucking backwards if you ask me. Like, how does that make sense?”

“I don’t know,” she said, “It’s almost as backwards as saying you want to destroy all landdwellers but then spending all your time with them.”

“That’s different,” Eridan said, “we seadwellers have a common saying ‘keep your fronds close, but keep your anemones closer’. Ever heard of it?”

“So that’s all I am?” she asked, “An enemy?”

“No, I mean,” he stumbled on his words. “You’re a friend, but everyone else really is just, they just don’t understand and can’t…it’s hard to explain, ok?”

“Sure…” she sighed.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t…ugh,” he shook his head, once again unable to verbalise whatever was going on in that strange head of his. “Look, the map says the entrance is right up here.”

They walked up to a small cluster of rocks like any other. Eridan started feeling around them for some kind of switch, button or lever, Nepeta simply stood there watching.

“Stupid rocks,” he muttered, now lightly tapping each one to hear for hollowness.

“I told you. You were reading it wrong all this time,” she said.

“Ok if you’re so sure,” he spat, pulling up his holographic memo box, “we’ll just cheat and ask, shall we?”

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]  
CA: hey vvris your map is a load a shit  
CA: it led us to some rocks and theres nothin else here  
AG: Oh Eridan.  
AG: Oh silly little wiggler Eridan, can’t you do anything for yourself?  
AG: You’re a 8ig 8oy now, you know.  
CA: shut the fuck up and just tell us wwhat to do  
CA: wweve been wwalking for hours and wwere fed up  
AG: What do you expect me to tell you?  
AG: I’m viewing you right now and you’ve managed to follow the map to the entrance.  
AG: Well done! You get a gold star!  
CA: ugh ok if wwere here then howw do wwe get in  
CA: it isnt exactly obvvious you knoww  
AG: Mess around with the rocks or something.  
AG: Come on, you’ve 8een adventuring 8efore. This is so 8asic.  
CA: wwe HAVVE been messin wwith the rocks an nothins happened  
AG: Uuuuuuuugh, are you really going to make me tell you?  
AG: That’s so lame.  
CA: i am tellin you wwe are tappin and pullin and kickin these stupid rocks so much youd think they wwere fuckin pinatas with swweet treasure inside em  
CA: wwe cannot be messin wwith these rocks any harder  
AG: You’re so retarded my head actually hurts.  
AG: Are you happy now? I have a migraine.  
CA: just fuckin tell me before i come and force you to  
AG: Ooooooooh and how do you plan on doing that? :::;)  
CA: youre sick  
CA: im literally about to throww up all ovver your fuckin precious rocks  
AG: Hahahaha ok don’t 8arf all over my neat rock entrance.  
CA: so youre sayin its definitely an entrance  
AG: Yeah dude I swear.  
AG: Here’s an idea: try looking under the rocks.  
CA: oh  
CA: ok wwell theres a massivve hole in the ground  
AG: Hooray, we have a winner.  
CA: wwait thats the entrance  
CA: you expect us to go dowwn that hole  
AG: Yeah, pro8lem?  
CA: yeah howw about it looks deep as fuck and wwe havve no rope  
AG: Rope is 8oring!  
AG: Come on just jump! I 8elieve in you!  
CA: you must be outta your fuckin mind if you think im gonna jump dowwn there  
AG: Do it!  
AG: How else do you think you’re going to get in? This is the only way!  
CA: wwell then wwe wwill just havve to go find another dungeon  
AG: There are no other dungeons, doofus!  
AG: This is the one I created and this is the one you will explore so GO!  
CA: no fuck off  
AG: Fine...I know how to change your mind >::::)  
CA: dont evven try your cheap mind tricks on me vvris  
CA: you knoww you cant influence someone wwith blood as pure as mine  
AG: May8e not you, 8ut there are others.

Out of his peripheral vision, Eridan managed to catch sight of Nepeta as she was flung to the side, she screamed as her body was forced into motion and fell down the pitch black hole.

“Nep!” Eridan shouted, “Shit!” he raced towards the hole but she had already fallen out of view. After an excruciatingly long eight seconds, he heard a noise as she hit the floor far, far below.

CA: VVRIS WWHAT THE FUCK  
AG: Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!  
AG: Oh god your face!  
AG: I am so glad I had the monitor on to witness that.  
CA: holy shit you cant do that  
CA: shes our fuckin friend you asshole  
CA: oh my glub  
CA: is she dead  
CA: FUCK  
AG: She’s fine, trust me.  
AG: Now off you go, hop down the hole after her!  
CA: oh my glub oh my glub oh my glub oh my glub  
AG: Ugh stop panicking, I said she’s fine.  
CA: howw can she possibly be fine  
CA: shes really hurt isnt she  
AG: The whole point of me doing that was to get you to go down there too.  
AG: Don’t let that dramatic leap 8e made in vain Eridan!  
CA: oh fuck im gonna havve to go dowwn there to get her  
AG: Yes!  
CA: holy motherglub im gonna die  
AG: Possi8ly.  
CA: i fuckin hate you bitch  
caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

Oh fuck, he really didn’t want to do this. He really, really, really didn’t want to do this.

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]  
CA: nep  
CA: nep are you ok  
CA: nep for fucks sake answwer me  
CA: haha ok make believve time is ovver noww  
CA: . . .  
CA: oh fuck  
caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

Well then there was nothing left to do. He walked up to the edge of the pit and looked down. He winced, both from the fear of what he was about to do and from the bothersome knowledge that Vriska was likely watching him and cackling. If only he was her clouder, he would make this game hell for her.

Eridan took a breath and stepped of the sand and into void. He screamed and yelled and thrashed as he fell for what felt like forever, until finally he landed. Except, his bones didn’t crack and splinter, nor did his gills rip and tear, and most thankfully of all he didn’t land on Nepeta’s carcass. The room in which he had landed was filled to the brim with thick green slime which had softened his fall, but it was incredibly difficult to move in and he thought he could feel himself sinking.

“Eridan!”

His eyes darted towards the source of the noise to see Nepeta’s head bobbing in the ooze not far from him, she managed to yank an arm out of its depths to motion him towards her. Excited and relieved, he tried to tug his way over to her but found it to be a problematic task.

“I…I can’t move in this shit!” he yelled to her.

“I know, it’s really hard but if you move your entire body and wriggle you can loosen the slime around you enough to move a little bit,” she yelled back.

Eridan twisted and shook himself around, and she was right, he could feel his movements getting easier and looser.

“There’s a ladder up there!” she shouted to him, struggling to point at the wall but he saw it. There were small metal bars working their way up the wall to a square-shaped hole, much like a vent.

“That’s the only way out, so we have to make our way over there!” she told him.

“Ok!” he confirmed loudly and started wriggling his way over to Nepeta and the wall.

It took a while, but they reached the grey wall and he grabbed onto one of the first metal bars. It took immense strength to pull himself out of the goo, he had to hold onto the bars as hard as he could without slipping and being yanked backwards by the green sludge which refused to let go.

“Hrgh!” he exclaimed as he escaped the last of the clinging slime. He breathed heavily as he climbed the remaining bars to reach the top and peered inside the hole. But it wasn’t really a hole to exit through. It was simply a gap in the wall, the hole had a solid back to it preventing any further access.

“What the…am I meant to break through?” he pondered, “Nep, I don’t thi-”

And that’s when he saw her. A second Nepeta underneath the translucent slime, waving her arms, shouting undecipherable words at him from metres below. He looked from this Nepeta to the one below him at the ladder.

“Come on Nep,” he said to her and climbed up a few more bars. Eridan watched as Nepeta pulled her body effortlessly onto the bars, she smiled up at him.

“Go in then, what are you waiting for?” she said.

Eridan turned around on the ladder so that his back was facing the wall, Nepeta looked confused for a second before his feet pummelled into her face. He and she both collapsed into the slime, the force of his body pushing her down further until her head was submerged. The slime didn’t hurt his eyes, though it did feel weird, as he kicked Nepeta down deeper and deeper. With each violent kick he saw her body tremble more and more, and the deeper she sunk into the slime the more her body started to separate and break apart.

A final forceful jolt and her body jellied apart and blended with the sludge around him, he then swam further down and reached the girl he had seen from the top of the ladder. She clasped his hand tightly and pointed towards another gap in the wall, this one at the bottom near the floor. They glided through the goo and one by one came out of the slime and climbed through the hole. They gasped as the green gloop fell off of them as they breached the barrier, the airy hole allowing them to move freely at last.

“What the FUCK, was that?” Eridan shuddered, shuffling away from the wall of slime, “you do realise there was a goo-you there, right?”

“Yeah I know,” Nepeta panted, “as soon as I landed I sunk to the bottom and the slime formed some kind of clone of me or something, and it went to the surface. I saw you fall in but I couldn’t swim up or anything, I was stuck.”

“That was just plain disturbing,” he said, shuddering once again.

"How did you know which me was the real me?" she asked curiously, "I was really scared you were going to leave without me for a while..."

"The clone could move way too easily. When she got onto the ladder, the slime just melted away, so I figured something was wrong. Plus she also led me to a bogus exit," he looked along the passageway they had entered and said, “well at least this is the real deal. I guess we should get moving, you ok to carry on?”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” she said, got onto her hands and knees and started to crawl along the tunnel.

 

***

They crawled until they reached a small hatch, which upon opening led to a large room. Across the room was a door with the words ‘temptation is a powerful thing’ written above it, below on the ground was one line of square tiles with images relating to animals on them, the line of tiles separated them from walking straight up to the door.

“Temptation is a powerful thing, huh?” Eridan said thoughtfully, gazing up at the ambiguous inscription whilst Nepeta grinned at the cat-themed tile, “does that mean we just have to avoid our favourite animal or what?”

“Aw no, I hope not,” Nepeta whined sorrowfully, “look, that kitty has a ball of yarn!”

“So there are cats, seahorses, rams, goats, bulls, crabs, spiders, hoofbeasts, bees, dragons, cuttlefish and…is that a grub? I think that’s a big grub.” Eridan listed, examining the tiles, “ok so I guess we just cross the board without stepping on the animal we identify with. Yours being cats, mine being seahorses I suppose because of my lusus.”

“Ok, sounds easy enough,” she said, and so she took a step forwards onto a tile with a picture of a galloping hoofbeast.

All of a sudden a voice rang out across the room: “Nepeta, I am sorry.”

She gasped, recognising the voice. A hologram appeared in front of her of Equius. It was amazing, if he hadn’t just materialised out of thin air in front of them then he could have been mistaken for the real article. The image was flawless, including the subtlest of details such as the spiky tread on his shoes and a small trickle of sweat along the side of his face.

“E…Equius?” she stuttered, stepping back slightly but remaining on the square.

“I truly am sorry,” Equius repeated, “I am sorry I couldn’t be the moirail you deserved.”

“No…” she breathed, “no it wasn’t…”

“You deserve someone who can really talk to you and understand you,” he said with emotion, his dark broken shades covering the sad eyes his shaky voice told of, “I am sorry I wasted so much of your time. But I still care about you Nepeta, so I want you to find someone better. Find someone who is worth your wonderful time, someone who isn’t a disgusting excuse for a moirail…I command it.”

“Equius no, I’M sorry,” Nepeta replied, olive tears building in her eyes, “I shouldn’t have shouted at you…I was mean, I was really, really mean…I should have just talked to you properly instead of losing my temper. Please don’t be angry at yourself…”

“I should be angry at myself, I should be utterly ashamed of my behaviour. You were the only troll to ever listen to me, to ever give me a chance instead of calling me a freak and avoiding me and I…” his voice choked. He looked down and tried to recover, removing his shades and wiping his eyes. He looked up at Nepeta, “You thought you could help me. You thought you could help me be less lonely and…I thought you could too. But I wasted your time and I am so, so sorry for that. All those sweeps, you put up with me, never complaining…I ranted about pointless things, things that hurt you and hurt others but you still never left my side. I don’t know how you did it. How could you stand to be around me, Nepeta? Didn’t I repel you like everyone else? I think I started to overvalue you, you see. And in doing so, I stupidly began to see you as unbreakable, you were there just for me and me alone, and I forgot about my duties as your moirail because…well, to me you were already perfection, you did not need improvement. So I neglected that part of you. And now I have lost all of you. I do not expect you to take me back, and I don’t want you to either, I meant what I said when I told you to find the troll and moirallegiance you deserve. But I just…wanted to apologise to you…”

“Equius, no…” Nepeta whimpered, tears falling down her cheeks, “all that…it’s not true!”

“It is true, and I refuse to make excuses. I was blind, Nepeta, I didn’t see how special you were when I had the chance,” Equius replied. “As I said, I thought you were unbreakable. But I forgot…I break everything, don’t I?”

Nepeta let out a heart-breaking wail and leapt forwards towards him, but when she opened her eyes she was knelt on the cold floor on the other side of the line of tiles. She looked back at Eridan, distraught and pained, who only looked on at her in shock.

“Are…are you ok?” he asked.

She said nothing in reply, she simply brought her knees to her cheeks, buried her face and sobbed.

“Ok, it’s ok, I’m coming,” Eridan said gently and looked quickly down at the tiles. So not the seahorse, and not anyone close enough to him to hurt him. He relaxed at the sight of a group of rams. Aradia, right? He’d hardly spoken to her outside the flarping memos, and he was certain there was nothing her hologram could say that would hurt him in any significant way.

He took a step, but something didn’t feel right.

He quickly jumped back just as a humongous axe swung across the room, narrowly missing his head.

“Shit!” he exclaimed, stumbling backwards and falling to the floor. Was that…? Holy shit, yes it was.

“Fuck, it cut some of my hair,” he gasped, picking up a tuft of black hair from the floor, “it actually missed me by a fucking hair, God this is dangerous. This is messed up. What the hell did I do wrong?”

He got to his feet and examined the words above the door once again.

“’Temptation is a powerful thing’, what does that even mean then?” he said out loud, but knowing Nepeta probably wasn’t listening, “you got across fine, well not FINE, but without being impaled I mean. What did you do that I didn’t?”

He peered over at the traumatised girl, still shaking and crying on the other side. Then something clicked.

“Oh that’s fucked up,” he whispered, then repeated much louder, “Oh that is fucked up. I have to resist the temptation of stepping on an easy tile, someone that won’t affect me. So the only way I’m not going to get stabbed, impaled or skewered is if I step on the tile that represents someone who’s going to fuck me up emotionally. Of course Vris would create something as insane as that...”

He stared down at the tiles again. He considered trying to jump over them altogether but soon came to the conclusion that he wouldn’t make the distance. Who was he supposed to choose? He guessed he could go for Karkat, or maybe even Nepeta. Ugh, if Vriska created this intending for him to choose her then she had another thing coming, screw that. Well, the most logical choice would be Feferi, right? Of course he cared about what his moirail thought of him…he cared a lot actually. But was this a conversation he was willing to have in front of Nepeta? And Vriska for that matter…on the other hand, he didn’t really have a choice.

He sighed, took a deep breath in, and stepped onto the tile with a cuttlefish on it.

His eyes darted around erratically for any signs of triggered traps, but then the image of Feferi Peixes appeared in front of him. He should have just walked forwards, straight through her and across to the other side before she could open her mouth, but something about her rooted him to the spot and he found himself forgetting all about the tiles, the door and the dungeon.

“Eridan,” she said smoothly, tip-toeing up to him, “hello.”

“Uh, hi,” Eridan replied, chuckling slightly.

“Eridan,” she said again. She was closer now, only a few inches away, “can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure,” he breathed in reply.

She swayed around him like the ocean’s waves, her face reached up to his and she giggled. She dipped down again and sailed over to his side before bobbing up again to his ear, and whispered, “Do you really want me to be your moirail?”

“Of course I do,” Eridan said, his hand subconsciously running through his hair, “is there something wrong? You know you can always tell me, right?”

“I know,” Feferi replied charmingly, she looked up at him with big fluttering eyes and said, “well actually, there is a problem. Quite a big problem. And I think you know what it is…”

Her voice trailed swimmingly into his ears and he melted at the sound. The chemistry, the heat, the pure redness between them was simply undeniable by this point.

But then Feferi’s face morphed into one of anger, disgust and pity. Eridan snapped quickly out of whatever trance he had been under, realising now that he should have ran across when he had the chance.

“The problem is that you think you’re somehow worthy of being in a red relationship with me,” she exclaimed angrily, “ME, really? I’m the empress, what are you to me? You’re lucky I even speak to you, especially considering your glubbing INSUFFERABLE personality and down-right retarded plans of world domination. Do you really think any of those stupid plans are going to work? Don’t bother answering, I know you don’t. I know you only make these ridiculous plans to get attention. Seriously though, why can’t you beg for attention from somebody else, ANYBODY else? I don’t have the fucking time, Eridan. I don’t have the time to be dealing with all of your pathetic dramatics, ok?!”

“I…oh glub….”

“Don’t ‘oh glub’ me, mister! Stop acting so innocent, God you’re so annoying! How the hell did I manage to tolerate you for so long? You’re so…ugh! You’re everything I HATE!” she screamed, “you’re an overbearing, attention-seeking piece of shit and you think you’re the star of everyone else’s lives! Don’t you get that everyone hates you? Take a fucking hint, Eridan! You’ve been blocked by pretty much everyone on Trollian, I mean, didn’t Karkat say he was ‘the only one willing to tolerate you’ just the other day? No one wants to talk to you, no one wants to hang out with you, no one even wants to see you. I mean, you’d be better off dead to be honest! And if any of this information is getting through that thick skull of yours, why don’t you ask yourself this: why the fuck would I want to be in any kind of quadrant with someone as despicable as you?”

Eridan didn’t say a word, he just looked away, refusing to make eye-contact with the girl in front of him. Silence filled the room as she stared expectedly at him, waiting for an answer.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, then walked forwards. The hologram vanished and he reached the other side.

Nepeta looked up at him, her eyes were still puffy and green. She stood up, sniffed, and asked “are you ok?”

He took a deep breath in and then out again, he met her gaze and answered, “Yeah, I guess. You?”

“I guess,” she replied, snivelling a little still.

He smiled weakly at her. With one hand he turned the handle of the large wooden door, with the other he held Nepeta’s and together they walked through to the next room.


	6. Thoughts and Actions

As the pair shuffled nervously into the next dungeon room, they held each other close, not knowing what other terrors to expect in this hell hole. This time the room was much smaller, maybe 2x2 metres, and when they entered the box-room the door slammed closed behind them. Nepeta grabbed the handle and pulled at it violently, but to no avail: they were definitely locked in. They both looked shakily at each other, and then eyed the stone pedestal baring a piece of parchment in the middle of the room. As Eridan reached for it, Nepeta pulled him back anxiously.

“Stop!” she whimpered, still tearful from the last trial, “it could be another trick…”

Eridan gazed at the paper and then back at Nepeta uneasily, he looked unsure as he wormed his way out of the girl’s grip and said, “We have to, it’s the only way to get through.”

His arm outstretched and carefully touched the edges of the paper. Nothing seemed to happen, to both of their reliefs, and so he brought it up to his face to read aloud.

Hey Team Nepidan! Having fun? Gr8! I put a lot of thought into this dungeon so I hope you enjoy it. It may seem a little intense 8ut I’m sure you can do it, and if you can’t then you deserve to fail, right? Right! This place is designed to test every aspect of your flarping a8ilities to train you up for the real challenge - ME! After all, I’m Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, I’m not going to waste my time on just any noo8s.  
Anywaaaaaaaay, 8ack to the trial. When you picked up this note, a countdown 8egan! 8ut you pro8a8ly guessed that would happen, I mean, it’s a pretty rookie trap. There’s a recorder in the room that will open a door when you say the MAGIC WORDS.

At that point the room started to rumble and shake. A few rocks and dust fell from the already-low ceiling as it began to shift free from the constraints of the wall and start to slowly lower further and further towards them.

8ut I’m in a generous mood ::::) so I’ll give you a clue to help you dum8asses out.  
Clue: who’s red for Nepeta????????

Eridan ended up screaming the last few sentences as he and his partner started to panic for their lives as the ceiling lowered ever closer to their skulls.

“Oh My Gog!” Eridan spluttered as he danced from foot to foot, staring up at the threatening roof.

“Eridan!” Nepeta squealed, shaking his arm and also jumping up and down in alarm.

“Ok, ok, calm down,” he frittered, more to himself than Nepeta, then he said, “the answer is whoever’s red for you, so it must be a name right?”

“Right!”

“Then let’s just list every fucking name we can think of!” he barked then announced to the room, “uh, Eq!”

Nepeta managed to punch him and shout “ew, what the hell?” before even noticing that the ceiling had violently shuddered and then it…it actually…

“Shit, it’s coming down even faster!” Eridan wailed as the room shrunk more and more, at an even faster rate now.

“What?!” Nepeta whelped and turned her attention towards the increasing danger above her, “oh no! If we get it wrong, does it get faster?”

“Looks like it,” Eridan spat angrily, then faced his friend, “who do you think it is?”

“I-I don’t know!” she returned, her cheeks flushing olive.

“Damnit Nep, now isn’t the time to get all embarrassed and silly!” Eridan yelled over the noise of crumbling rock as the ceiling forced them both to crouch closer to the ground.

“How am I supposed to know?!” she replied crossly, giving him a scowl, “you must have a better idea than me, I'm bound to be biased!”

“I guess,” he muttered, “I just don’t want to get it wrong, ok? Or say something weird.”

“Look who’s being silly now,” she retorted, dropping onto her knees as the ceiling came down further, “if you think something, just say it!”

“Oh, I don’t know…” Eridan replied, squirming as he gave up trying to hold the rock and also got onto his knees, “fine, how about Tav?”

The ceiling shook and trembled even more before…speeding its descent! The two screamed as they lowered their bodies even more.

“Shit! Ok no then.”

“Seriously, Tavros?!”

“I thought he might have thing for you, alright?!”

“Well try thinking of something more concrete!” she growled, then nervously looked up and whimpered, “but not literally…”

Eridan’s mind was racing. Oh man was he screwed, he couldn't think of anything! Damn, how would even Vriska know the correct answer? Maybe she didn’t, maybe she was actually just fucking with them. That was a good point to be honest, Vriska would probably want to choose the most disturbing answer to mess with both of them.

“Oh my…hey Nep!” he gasped, suddenly perking up. He glanced over to Nepeta who was now lying face-down on the ground, she looked up in desperation, wishing for some kind of relief from the oncoming pressure of stone which lowered down much closer now, it was even starting to crunch and crush Eridan’s horns so he adopted Nepeta’s idea and laid down flat.

“Vris made this, right? So the answer is probably just some bullshit to embarrass or mess us up!” he exclaimed over the loud rumblings, a layer of dust now forming on his hair, “so the answer must be me! Eridan!”

The movement stopped. For a second the pair locked eyes and released a sigh of relief, but then the ceiling rushed down faster than ever before! The weight of the stone now grazed their backs, and their heads were forced to lay to the side to avoid shattering their jaws.

Eridan cursed and tensed his body, a violet tear may or may not have dribbled down his grey cheek as the rock dug into his heels and he shuffled to postpone the pain just a second longer.

Nepeta sniffled about half a metre away from him. She breathed in the dust that had settled on the ground and clenched her fists as she felt the flat slab of the ceiling lay across her back and begin to push her knuckles into the thin layer of dirt and clay on the floor.

As the last of her movements were restricted, she whispered a name.

Suddenly the dreadful crushing halted and a hatch, in between the two of them on the ground, opened up.

“E…Eridan,” she choked, seeing the hole and feeling the ceiling cease its ongoing pressure, “…look.”

Eridan tried to turn his head but found that there simply wasn’t enough room. “What is it?” he asked weakly, “did you…get it right?”

“Yeah…” she whispered in reply, “there’s a hole…right next to you, on your right…we need to go down it.”

Eridan agreed and started to drag his body to wherever Nepeta directed, it was a slow process since he was facing the opposite way and any kind of movement required relentless tugs and pulls across the rough ground. His yellow fingernails gathered dirt and his chin was grazed numerous times as he painfully edged himself towards the gap in the floor. When he was finally there, he ducked his head into the hole and breathed. Nepeta leered enviously; that hole of clean air and space must be so satisfying after thinking you were going to be crushed to death.

“Go,” she croaked out. He managed to raise his eyes out of the hole to meet with hers, he gave a light nod before shuffling the last few inches and then allowing himself to fall down. Unnervingly, he didn’t call up to assure her that he was ok and it was safe, which would be the standard procedure for any life-endangering adventure such as this. Although she felt a little reluctant due to this, she also realised she couldn’t remain under the ceiling forever, and boy did she not want to. So she too dragged herself towards the shaft and, with not a lot of confidence, allowed herself to slip through.

 

***

 

Nepeta was incredibly aware of the fact that once she landed, and she had been falling for approximately twenty long seconds now, her face would be the first thing to make contact with her new environment. But the hole was very long and small, and it didn’t allow any free reign to change one’s falling position.

Luckily, after a while, her face didn’t collide with metal or rock or any other hard material. But her face met calm lukewarm water as the hole angled gradually to soften the impact towards the end, much like a waterslide!  
She slipped into the shimmering pool delicately and then swam out into the open, all whilst making sure she held onto her nose and her mouth was closed; oh, how she hated water.  
Despite the wetness, the room was an undeniably captivating blue lagoon with a beautiful large body of water and glistening blue gems embedded into the rocky walls. Nepeta swam quickly out of the water and clambered onto the land Eridan stood on not too far away. She stood next to him and whined as she attempted to shake herself dry, but he took no notice and instead stared at the gems and crystals locked into the rock face. It took a number of wretched noises and prods before he blinked, looked down to see Nepeta and said, “What’s up with you?”

“I don’t like water,” she grumbled, shaking her arms so that droplets flied off.

“Well that’s a bit racist,” Eridan huffed.

“Oh shut up, you know I don’t mean it like that,” she replied with a shrug, “it’s just a cat thing I guess.”

“So you…actually inherit cat traits?” he asked curiously, “Isn’t that a little weird?”

“No,” Nepeta replied, sticking out her tongue playfully, “you have some fish characteristics, is that weird?”

“I have gills and use fish puns every now and again,” he replied, “I’d hardly call those characteristics."

“Whatever,” she said, then giggled, “oh my Gog Eridan, you’re so rude.”

“What?” he said, confused, “is that even a word? ‘Gog’?”

“You said it earlier, stupid,” she laughed, “when the ceiling moved.”

“Oh come on, it freaked me out. You can’t blame me for stuttering mistakes when I think I’m about to die,” he rolled his eyes, “sudden movements and noises scare the shit out of me. It’s a fish thing you know.”

“I thought you didn't have fish traits?” Nepeta mocked with a sly cackle, to which Eridan did a heavy sigh. Then she added, “and hey, you never really use fish puns anymore either. What’s up with that?”

“Yeah I do, but I just stopped around landdwellers because everyone took the piss out of them,” Eridan explained sulkily, “I use them with Fef though.”

Upon saying her name Eridan took a quick breath and then his face fell sullen. Nepeta quickly caught on - neither of them had yet to fully recover from that horrible room, and she doubted they ever would.

She placed a hand on his shoulder and used her sharp nails to lightly massage him. Surprisingly, he found it rather comforting.

Then, as he glanced up again from his gloom, he caught sight of the gems yet again and gaped at them mesmerizingly.

Nepeta frowned. What was up with him? She looked at the jewels he was gawking at and tilted her head. Sure, they were stunning of course, and she’d bet Kanaya would do anything to take a few back to her hive to serve as inspiration, but she didn’t see why he’d turned into such a zombie after looking at them. Nepeta deepened her frown as her eyes scanned the lagoon; there were no falling ceilings, weird puzzles or fucked up holograms. What gives?

At that moment she noticed a dent in the rock towards the back of the room, and upon closer inspection she found that the dent was purely a door which had been camouflaged to look like the rest of the cavern. So…was that the trial? It seemed pretty lame if it was. Not that she was complaining about the easy difficulty level, to be honest. Therefore she was very hesitant to open the door; what if it activated something or a dragon burst through? It could happen! And Eridan still wasn’t doing anything to help.

“Eridan!” she called, a slight irritation in her tone, “the door’s here, should I open it?”

No reply.

“Eridan?!” she screeched. The sound bounced off the walls and into Eridan’s ears, he whipped around as if he had just been woken and stuttered, “w-what?!”

“The DOOR,” Nepeta replied bluntly, “you coming?”

“Uh yeah, I guess,” he answered, walking around to her. But half the way over he stopped in front of a new patch of gems, dropped to the floor and sat in a slumped position to stare at them.

“Ugh, great,” she sighed, “so I suppose this is the trial?”

She stomped angrily over to him and pulled at his jacket. She looked from him, to the gems, then back at him again and groaned. “What’s so hypnotising about them?” she wondered aloud, “I don’t see it, whatever it is…come ON Eridan, let’s GO!” She made a whining noise as she attempted to drag the boy across the floor, but she only succeeded in shaking him from his trance for a second before he fell under it once again.

“Fine!” she said, stamping her foot, “I’m going to open the door, and then maybe you’ll stop being an idiot.”

She went over to the hidden door yet again and clasped the handle. As she pulled it open she expected a chime to ring out or for Eridan to suddenly shake his head and run over to her productively, but that is not what happened. As soon as the door gave a slither of leeway, Nepeta was punched backwards by the sheer force of possibly two hundred revolting little imps as they charged through and into the lagoon.

She screamed as the little two-foot-tall humanoid creature swarmed her, nibbling at her legs through their large skull helmets and catapulting each other onto her arms and head to pull her down. She fell, tripping over the many bodies crawling around her, and they started to yank at her hair and prod at her with their tiny spears.

Upon first impressions, these creatures would appear to be the most pathetic and idiotic monsters in the world of Flarp. But when there were so many crowding and squirming and scratching at their prey they became more of a problem, especially to an inexperienced player such as Nepeta.

“Eridan!” she screamed over the chatters and gibberish erupting from the enemies, but her teammate did not respond. She managed to raise her head just high enough to see him, still staring at the fucking wall, whilst now being clambered on and stabbed by the imps. Nepeta cursed loudly and then shrieked as she felt her wrists being bound by rope. Anger now bubbling up inside her, she violently snatched her arms upwards, snapping the rope and causing a few of the creatures to topple over.

“Ok then,” she seethed, “looks like I’m going to have to sort this one.”

With her now free arms, she reached to her sides and grabbed her mini-swords. Stabbing the imps around her, she was soon able to gain enough to space to stand up, but now she was higher she could clearly see how many of these things there were. The majority were still around the area of the door, Eridan and herself, but some had now began running around the cavern and attempting to scale the wall, some had even taken to the water and seemed to be struggling to stay afloat. She gripped her weapons tighter and dug her heels into the ground.

“Let’s see what you’ve got, you bunch of pests!” she sneered. Then with lightning-fast actions, she started to slash at the enemies around her, stabbing each in a fatal area and rapidly clearing the field. She would swing her dagger to the right and impale up to three imps, then with her other knife she slid the limp bodies off the blade and immediately went in for another strike. She was taking out approximately one imp every three seconds, maybe even less than that, and very soon she was surrounded by piles and piles of lifeless monsters. The creatures attacking Eridan had already noticed their threat and had just began to detach their sharp teeth from the seadwellers’ flesh in order to approach Nepeta, but she was far too quick; she was on them in a flash and within a matter of a couple minutes Eridan was free of enemy attacks. She panted heavily after her valiant battle and then raised an eyebrow at the boy.

“Are you kidding me?” she breathed shallowly, “you wake up after being dragged around a bit, but when you are literally being eaten by enemies you don’t bat an eyelid?!”

She rolled her eyes, knowing he obviously wasn’t taking any notice of her words, and kicked him hard in the back. Glancing around the room, she estimated that there were about twenty remaining imps running around like hooligans. Most of them were either already drowning in the pool, dancing around each other or playing with rocks. Damn, she almost felt bad for having to kill them, but a flarper’s gotta do what a flarper’s gotta do. She trotted around picking off the last few, but it was more of a chore at this point then an enemy attack. She did pluck a couple of monsters out of the deep water, however, so that they could die quickly by her mini-sword rather than slowly through drowning. So at least she did something vaguely kind for them, or at least that’s what she told herself later on.

The creatures didn’t appear to have anything of value on their persons, and so after putting away her weapons she used the remainder of her strength to drag her useless partner the last few metres and through the door.

As he started to become more aware of his surroundings (which were now of a gleaming pale yellow corridor), Nepeta shut the door behind them and so saw the note pinned to the back of it.

She pulled it off and read it:

Good jo8 Nepeta, I knew you could handle yourself out there. That’s why I gave you the opportunity and immo8ilised Eridan for you! I 8elieve a ‘:33 < thank you’ is in order.  
In case you were wondering, the secret was all in the water ::::)  
Have fun, talk soon!  


“The secret was all in the water?” Nepeta quoted, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Huu…uh?” Eridan murmured, clutching his head, “ow…is that…why are there teeth marks all over me? What the hell happened?”

Nepeta narrowed her eyes, her mind whirring. “You were affected…and I wasn’t…” she muttered, then suddenly, “oh, it’s in the water! I get it! She must have put something in the pool and because you’re a seadweller it must have done something to you but not me, biologically I mean. Perhaps it got into your system through your gills or something?”

“My gills?” he repeated as if he hadn’t heard properly, but then he gripped his gills in a fluster, “what’s happened to my gills?!”

“Nothing, your gills are great,” she giggled, “I think you were just drugged or something.”

“What? ‘Just drugged’?!” he exclaimed, staring at her in a panic, “drugged with what - sopor slime?! Oh no, please no. She wouldn’t…would she? Oh Gog…I mean, not Gog, fuck…but wow shit…”

“Calm down,” she said, sighing, “you’re so dramatic! I don’t think you’re seriously hurt, it was just something to distract you so I could fight instead. Here, read the note.”

She passed him the paper and he scanned it furiously. “She wanted to immobilise me?” he questioned, “but why?”

Nepeta shrugged, “I don’t know, so I could get some experience or to just to see if I can handle myself in a battle? Could be anything.”

“Yeah, Vris’ probably watching us through her monitor right now, taking shitty notes on our tactics and fighting styles,” he growled, looking up to the sky as if she were an all-seeing super-being glaring down at them, “bitch.”

“I guess it’s pretty sly,” Nepeta agreed, “but can’t we do the same to her?”

“Well yeah,” Eridan admitted, “but I thought this was meant to be a fair game with no fucking screen-watching.”

She stretched out her hand and pulled him up off the floor, “come on, let’s just keep going,” she said with a smile, “cheat or not, we’re going to beat her stupid little dungeon.”

Eridan grinned at her, still holding onto her hand.

“Definitely.”


	7. Dark Blood of the Labyrinth

The short corridor they were now walking through was smooth and well-lit, with the same yellow plastic-like material making up each surface of the rectangular tunnel. It was rather futuristic actually, especially when compared to the rest of the dungeon’s fairly traditional adventure-game interior design, as untraditional as the trials may be.

As they came to the end of the corridor they reached a slim, stylish door. It was then that they noticed that the door didn’t have a handle - instead there was a small white button.

Eridan glanced uneasily at Nepeta, who said, “aren’t you going to press it?”

“I don’t know about you Nep, but I’m feeling less and less confident about fiddling with shit in this place,” he answered uncomfortably.

“I know what you mean,” she said, frowning deeply, “we don’t want the ceiling to come crashing down again! But I don’t see any other way out…”

“Hey, yeah that reminds me,” Eridan perked up and turned to the girl, “I never heard whose name you said back there. What was the answer?”

“I’m not telling,” Nepeta replied, feeling flustered and looking down with a grin.

“Oh come on, you have to!” he begged, “You know how into quadrants and romance and shit I am, please?”

“Since when are you into romance?” she asked, “I bet you’re only saying that so I tell you!”

“What, no, for fucks sake I honestly am,” he argued, “haven’t you noticed that like half our conversations have been about each other’s quadrants?”

“I wouldn’t say half,” she replied, biting her lip a little.

“Whatever, I mean, we talk about it quite a lot in retrospect,” he continued, “and it’s because we’re both interested in it. It’s not just you and Kar that like shipping and stuff you know, why do you think Kar and I are such good friends?”

“I didn’t know you were ‘such good friends’, obviously,” she retorted with a slight bitterness to her tone, “we should all hang out together one day and have a big romance-party I suppose, since we all have so much in common!”

“Uh, right…” Eridan trailed off, and after a few seconds of silence he added, “You do know what that sounds like, right?”

“Yes I do, and that’s not what I meant!” she growled, “stop being such an idiot.”

“Wow, who shat in your kitty litter?” he said, slinking back a bit, “calm down, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Nepeta sighed loudly and brought her hand to her head. “Oh, I know,” she breathed tiredly, “sorry.”

“Why’d you get so touchy all of a sudden?” Eridan asked, and then more timidly, “if you don’t mind me asking.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s pretty stupid really,” she replied with a little painful laugh, “It’s just that romance has always been something Karkitty and I have had in common, so it feels really special and important to me, that’s all. And to hear that maybe someone else is really into it too, well, it makes it seem less special, you know? Oh Jegus I sound so embarrassing, I told you it was stupid.”

Eridan smiled softly as her eyes evaded his awkwardly. “Nah, it’s cool,” he replied understandingly, “I do the same thing with Fef and anything marine-related to be honest.”

Nepeta giggled and looked up with an adorable pursed smile.

“And also,” he began, stifling a laugh, “Jegus? I mean, are you kidding?”

“Oh shut up,” she laughed and rolled her eyes, “it was the slip of the tongue!”

“It takes an impressive slip to accidentally create a new word,” he teased charmingly, “I hope you’re not trying to steal my job. I’ve got a good thing going with this Gog word, didn’t you know?”

“Oh yeah, I heard,” she replied, playing along, “it’s a great business idea. Jegus is so inferior in comparison, it makes me sad!”

“Aw, cheer up. We can’t all be destined for greatness,” Eridan chuckled impishly, “but maybe I’ll let you be my business partner.”

“Thank you so much, President Ampora!” she chirped cutely, doing a little salute, “I swear I’ll try my best!”

“Wonderful, Vice President Leijon,” he replied with a sharp nod, “I look forward to working with you. I even hear you have already started a project on shipping charts that you would like to propose we collaborate on?”

Nepeta hesitated for a moment due to the shock of being asked to show her shipping charts to someone else for the first time. But like the expert role-player she had already claimed to be, she quickly snapped back into character and said, “of course! I hope you’ll find the ideas interesting, and I can’t wait to hear your own.”

“Yes, I already have a lot of faith in them,” Eridan replied, “in fact, I am particularly interested in one ship, if I may inquire?”

“It depends on the ship, sir.”

“I was wondering about the red implications I have witnessed,” he said slowly, “surrounding Miss Leijon and Mr Vantas?”

“Eridan! No!” Nepeta hissed, “I told you to stop asking about that!”

“Oh really Nep, like it’s a big secret,” he grinned, “you came out of that ceiling-trap room like you were walking on fucking moonlight. I may have been a bit weird because of those stupid gems, but I could still tell that you got the answer you wanted.”

“You were drugged, so what you think doesn’t matter at all,” she stuck out her tongue.

“Well there goes democracy under Vice President Leijon’s iron paw,” he joked, but then said more seriously, “but really, you can tell me. I know you’re just bursting to tell someone, and it’ll just stay between us.”

Nepeta squirmed and wrung her hands together. “I don’t know,” she whimpered, “there are some ships I’ve never shown to anyone…and that one’s under heavy security.”

“Do you think, as your trusted business partner,” he replied sweetly, taking a step closer to her and resting his hands on hers in a reassuring way, “you could whisper it to me?”

After a few imperative moments of deep thought, Nepeta glanced from Eridan’s hands on hers and then back up to his comforting eyes. She removed one hand, put it on his shoulder and tugged him lightly down towards her as she stood on her tiptoes to reach to his neck.

She rested her chin on his shoulder and whispered, “yes, ok? I’m red for him.”

Eridan straightened his back once again and beamed at her. “I knew it,” he said.

“Yeah, yeah,” she said, blushing. And then suddenly, “think fast!”

Within a second of the flurry of words leaving her lips, she abruptly barged past Eridan and slapped the white button on the door. Eridan yelped as the room started to shake and vibrate, the entire corridor changed from the passive yellow to a dangerous red colour. Now Nepeta started to quiver along with her teammate as she realised what her actions may have set off. However this time rocks did not fall and neither did piles of dust, but that didn’t stop the ceiling from gradually lowering towards them.

“What? Oh shit, not again!” Eridan screamed in frustration, “we haven’t even got a clue this time!”

“Uh, Feferi!” Nepeta rattled off nervously, “Vriska! Karkat!”

“What are you doing?” Eridan demanded as the ceiling continued to fall.

“Naming anyone who could be into you!” she cried, “what else am I meant to…?”

Suddenly the ceiling froze and the corridor once again flashed back to its original non-threatening colour. In front of them on the door appeared a small pixilated cobalt blue message that simply read:

Just kiiiiiiiidding

Then a loud electronic beep filled the rectangular box and the door released itself from the bottom and swiped upwards to allow entrance.

Eridan allowed himself to breathe a quick sigh of relief before turning to Nepeta with a troubled glance and questioned, “Kar? Really, was that a joke or something?”

Nepeta shrugged in reply, and then warned, “Don’t get any ideas.”

The two wearily walked through and found themselves in a much larger cavern than they had ever been in before, both in FLARP and real life. The rocky roof sloped upwards many hundreds of feet and probably reached the surface, they knew that after falling so far so many times they must have been deep under the ground by now. Below the towering ceiling and in front of Nepeta and Eridan was a long wall made out of the same, presumably electronic, material that the corridor was created from. They estimated that the wall was about 100 feet tall and three hundred or so feet wide, stretching from one side of the room to the other, the only gap being the small doorway in front of them.

“What is this?” Nepeta asked, scanning the new scene with keen eyes, watching for any signs of enemies or traps.

“I’m not sure,” he muttered, “is it some sort of trick room that we enter? Oh whatever, we know we’ll have to go through it anyway so let’s just go. You ready?”

Nepeta clutched the daggers at her side and gave a confident nod, before marching towards the gap in the wall with Eridan at her side.

As soon as they stepped inside, the wall automatically sealed the exit in such a way that it seemed as if the doorway had never existed in the first place. Looking to the sides, Eridan informed in a concerned voice, “it’s a maze.”

Nepeta frowned, reaching up to the place on the smooth wall where the gap had been only moments before, her fingertips freezing just before she made contact with the freaky barrier. “I’m feeling dizzy already,” she replied nervously.

“I guess we’re meant to get to the end,” he said, “or the middle.”

“How are we meant to know which?” Nepeta pressed.

Eridan shrugged at her, “maybe it’s meant to take us twice as long because of that?”

“That sucks,” Nepeta kicked at the ground once before walking off to the left. Realising Eridan wasn’t following, she stopped and called back, “It doesn’t matter which way we start off from, does it? Come on let’s go this way, I want to get through quickly!”

He raised one eyebrow at her eagerness but then walked gloomily up to the excited girl who took his hand and dragged him around the first corner.

“Whoa, why are you suddenly so pumped for this silly maze?” he asked, tripping slightly as Nepeta rushed him.

“I like mazes,” she replied happily, “and I’m still pretty fired up from fighting all those imps. I just want to beat this thing!”

She giggled as they reached their first choice of path: they could go straight ahead, left or left and then a direct right.

Without consulting her teammate, Nepeta rushed left and then paused for second before tugging Eridan down the path to the right.

“Hey, Nep stop,” Eridan said, scraping at her grip on his arm as she continued to drag him behind her. He dug his heels into the ground and yanked his arm back, much to Nepeta’s surprise, and said harshly, “Damn it, I said to fucking stop.”

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’?” he growled as she stared at him in bewilderment, “stop pulling me around like I’m some kind of smuppet.”

“I’m not,” she argued, “you’re just being slow so I’m helping you.”

“You’re not helping, you’re meddling.” He stated, “don’t fall into the addictive habit of meddling, Nep. There’s no return after that.”

“Stop being dramatic,” she crossed her arms nonchalantly, “why can’t you see that I just want to complete this trial as quickly as…”

Nepeta was unable to finish her sentence. She watched in horror as Eridan leant a shoulder on the wall to the side of him and subsequently began to shake and convulse as small bubbles formed at the edges of his mouth.

“Eridan!” she screeched, watching in a panic as her friend was jolted forcefully in all directions. His eyes faded into vacancy and his mouth drooped from a determined snarl into a weak line across his face.

Nepeta decided she had spent long enough being frozen to the spot. No way was she going to stare and watch her friend slowly loosen his grip on life. With a mixture of fear and bravery, she reached forwards and hooked Eridan’s spasming arm and tugged him towards her, and though the force of whatever was doing this to him pulled back in protest, Nepeta managed to drag him hard enough so that he suddenly launched forwards away from the wall.

They both breathed heavily; Nepeta bending over forwards, resting her hands on her trembling knees, and Eridan on the ground attempting to get up but finding he did not have the strength.

“What was that?” Nepeta wailed, clearly distressed.

“I don’t know…” he replied, gasping, “I think I was…electrocuted? But that doesn’t make sense…wouldn’t the electricity jump and shock you too? Oh, I…I don’t know.”

“That was horrible!” she cried out, “I thought you were dying! You were shaking and I couldn’t do anything and I was just so scared, Eridan.”

“Hey, it’s ok, I’m all good, see?” he said as he gradually stood up. He probably should have rested a bit longer before moving again, but upon realising that Nepeta needed to see this, he bared through the pain that ached in every bone in his body.

He stumbled over to the girl and put a still shaky arm on her shoulder, “let’s get a move on then, slow coach,” he said with a cheeky grin.

Nepeta let out a small laugh, although it struggled not to morph into a sob, and wrapped her arm around the seadweller’s waist to support him as they hobbled down the path, more slowly this time.

They wandered around the twisting trail for however long, possibly hours, it was hard to tell. The generic, semi-reflective yellow walls seemed to mess with their orientation, and time became a confusing memory to both of them. Either way, they had been walking aimlessly for long enough to discover certain things about this maze; the walls were electrified and could not be touched, a few weak enemies strolled out from behind corners frequently, sometimes new routes revealed themselves after certain enemies had been killed or buttons pushed, and they still had no clue whether they were heading for the middle or opposite side.

Nepeta groaned loudly as they came across another small group of squirming tentacle-y type things. These ones seemed to have been playing a pleasant game of cards before taking notice of the two adventurers and turning their focus towards them instead. The two easily defeated three of the creatures, chopping off their disgusting extra limbs and stabbing into their gooey eyes. In a fit of rage and impatience, Eridan shot the last creature in the space where its five tentacles protruded from, but did not kill it. The monster wriggled in agony, it cried out with wretched little moans of pain, but Eridan took no pity and instead pinned it to the ground. “I have had enough! You better tell me which direction we’re meant to be going in right now or I swear to glub I will leave you here to bleed out over the course of hours until your pathetic life force has finally flooded out of your sack of shit body! Do you understand me, you grotesque fuck? I will leave you to suffer a long and excruciating death." Eridan pressed the end of his gun into the bloody gaping wound of where the last blast had obliterated the lower half of the creature's body. He lodged the nozzle in amongst the organs which were beginning to slip out onto the ground, and with a threatening glare he said, "tell me what you know.”

The creature attempted to get free with the last of its strength, but it was simply impossible. For a second, there may have been a trace of sadness in its orifice of an eye, but then its white pupil rolled like a marble to look to the north before resting there eternally.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]  
AG: Woweeeeeeee.  
AG: That was pretty savage, I’m impressed!  
AG: How did it feel, Eridan? Tell me, I’m curious.  
AG: How does it feel to turn from hero to killer?  
CA: i got wwhat i needed so i dont knoww wwhat youre findin so funny  
CA: i knoww that im meant to be goin north  
CA: i just cheated your fucked up game so wwhy dont you tell me howw that feels  
AG: Ahahahaha oh you’re so adora8le.  
AG: Really, like I give a shit a8out how you get through this dungeon.  
AG: All I care a8out is whether it’s entertaining. And trust me, you should 8e on television.  
CA: wwell thanks for the positivve feedback but i actually dont givve a flyin fuck  
CA: im just kinda tired of wwalkin around this retarded maze for so long  
CA: can you just cut us some slack and transport us to the end or somethin  
AG: How a8out no, sugarlump ::::)  
CA: sugarlump wwhat the fuck  
AG: One day I will settle on a permanent pet name for you, don’t worry.  
AG: 8ut for now I’m just testing out all my options!  
CA: i cant wwait for the day you die  
AG: Awwwwwwww, you’re such a sweet talker Eridan.  
CA: stop it noww  
CA: before i shoot myself with my owwn gun  
CA: just  
CA: please   
CA: for the lovve of everythin sacred stop  
AG: Don’t you like me????????  
CA: no i absolutely fuckin despise you  
AG: Perfect!  
AG: That’s just the way I like it.  
CA: thats it im done  
CA: screww this im not gonna ask for the help of some psycho bitch just so i can get out of a labyrinth a bit faster  
AG: Well you don’t necessarily want to get out.  
CA: wwhat  
AG: Nevermiiiiiiiind.  
CA: ugh i hate you  
AG: I hate you too.  
caligualasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]  
arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]  
AG: <3<   
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]  
caligualasAquarium [CA] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]  
CA: wwhat  
CA: oh  
CA: glub  
caligualasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

“Eridan!” Nepeta shook his shoulder violently, she had obviously been trying to get his attention for some time.

“Huh?” he murmured, quickly putting away his electronic device.

“Eridan, I said what the hell was that?” she squealed, “you went way over the top with killing that thing. I mean, that was just brutal!”

“Come on, Nep, it’s just a game,” he replied, standing up off of the carcass he had trapped, “they’re all digital.”

“I know, but you still don’t have to do that,” she huffed angrily, “and who were you talking to? Was it Vriska?”

“Uh yeah,” Eridan replied shiftily, “but she wouldn’t tell me the way or anything like that. I mean, I guess we kind of know it's north but that thing was dying at the time and could have been hoofbeastshitting us or whatever.”

Nepeta cursed in reply, and then Eridan quickly said, “oh wait, well she did say we ‘don’t necessarily want to get out’ of the maze. It was pretty cryptic and random so maybe that meant something, I don’t know.”

“Awesome! Let me see,” Nepeta reached for his tablet but Eridan took an abrupt step back, shielding his precious information.

“Um, I’d rather you not see this,” he said uncomfortably, “she said some things that I don’t really want others to see…”

“Things like what?” she asked curiously, and then she frowned, “was she saying mean stuff about me?”

“Uh, yeah!” Eridan replied, taking advantage of the opportunity, “you, me, a load of people really. It was just petty stuff really, but I don’t want to stress you out about nothing, so just forget about it, ok?”

Nepeta bit her lip uneasily and said, “Fine, ok.”

After a second of silence, she carried on the conversation by saying, “so, we ‘don’t necessarily want to get out’, right? What do you think that means?”

“Who knows?” he replied, “maybe that we’re stuck in here forever. Oh man would that suck. If you want, you can kill yourself with my gun, it might be quicker than stabbing yourself.”

“Stop with the theatrics, please Eridan,” Nepeta begged, “she wouldn’t have built this place with no exit, because what’s the point?”

“Maybe she’s released a toxic gas. Or perhaps she’s mind controlling us as we speak,” Eridan moped, “forcing us to want to never leave, making us want to stay. Maybe that’s what she meant?”

“I don’t know about you, but I still really want to leave,” she replied, “I doubt she’s doing something as silly as that.”

“Silly? What are you talking about, that’s a great plan,” he argued, “that’s technically what she did to me in the lagoon room. So there! Proof that it’s the type of thing she’d pull!”

“Oh, ok whatever,” Nepeta replied, “but you’re now being so ridiculous that I want to leave even more than before! So I think you’re wrong about that idea. But I suppose it was a pretty smart guess.”

Eridan shrugged with a laugh, “ok, I guess not. Got any ideas that aren’t a waste of think-pan activity like mine?”

Nepeta giggled. “Yeah, maybe,” she said, “she could have meant that there’s something in the maze that we would want.”

“Like a prize?” he wondered, and then, “or even the exit?”

“Yeah, you might be right!” she smiled excitedly as her mind whirled with ideas, “there’s something inside the maze that we need to get. And…hey do you know what that means?”

“No, what?” he prompted the eager kitty.

“It means we need to get to the middle, not out the other side,” she beamed, “Vriska basically confirmed where we should be going!”

“Oh fuck yes!” Eridan cheered, and the two did a triumphant fist bunp.

Now with some idea as to where they were headed, the team set off in whichever direction they felt was more centre-bound.

It took a while, too long of a while, before they finally reached their destination. The maze had been designed in such a way that it really did confuse the fuck out of them, and the two players were constantly back-tracking and arguing that they swore they recognised that generic corner. They must have defeated hundreds of enemies whilst trudging through identical pathways and pondering at crossroads. However many disgusting monsters they fought, it was obviously enough for them to both harvest all that exp and level up, a couple of times in fact.

“Hey!” a voice yelled out as Eridan and Nepeta approached the end of another corridor, “is someone there? I can hear someone walking! Vriska? Vriska is that you, you sociopathic fuckhead?”

Nepeta ran forwards, overtaking Eridan by a precious few feet just to get around the corner first and lay her eyes upon the scene. She gasped. A split second later, Eridan arrived at her side and gazed at the large space which was the presumed centre of the maze.

In the middle of the space was a circular transportalizer. It was a common object in a game such as FLARP and usually placed at the end of a dungeon to warp players away so that they wouldn’t have to walk back through all the completed rooms. To the right was a gargantuan machine with a circular platform and some sort of pedestal next to it. It was impossible to even begin to consider what this strange contraption was or where it came from, Eridan was pretty sure he’d never seen this item anywhere in FLARP before, and he was quite the experienced gamer. But what caught both of their attention was the small figure suspended by rope which was then attached to the cave ceiling far above. The figure squirmed and struggled in their bonds, kicking furiously and swinging backwards and forwards on the rope. The troll let out a violent scream before finally seeing the trolls on the ground who had wandered in. “Nepeta! Eridan! Thank fuck!”

Nepeta stared in astonishment and fear that this may be yet another one of Vriska’s unscrupulous tricks. Or worse, that it was real and he was in danger.

“…Karkat?”


	8. An Absent End

“Yes, what does it fucking look like?” Karkat yelled as the rope rotated him. He kicked and wriggled in a ridiculous effort to twist himself back around to face the trolls, but ended up giving up and just waited angrily as the rope slowly swirled him clockwise until he was facing the appropriate direction again.

“Are you ok?” Nepeta squealed in a panic, “How did you get up there? Was it Vriska? Did she hurt you?”

“Yeah Kar, what are you doing here?” Eridan added with a laugh, “finally caught the flarping bug?”

“Hell no. I continue to stand by my unchallengeable opinion that this game is a fucking piece of shit!” Karkat shouted from above, “Do you think I want to be here? Do you think this is some kind of recreational activity for me? If so, Eridan, please do us all the favour of killing yourself so that no one else can be infected with your retardation!”

“Ha, woah,” Eridan replied, his hand gripping the back of his neck tensely, “no need to go overboard on the banter.”

“You think this is banter?!” yelled the boy who was hanging like a caught fish on a hook, “If you think I’m feeling anything other than rage right now, then you must be the most unobservant bulgehumping piece of trash in all of existence!”

“Karkitty come on, that’s not nice!” Nepeta called to him with a frown, “we’re your friends!”

“Yeah, and friends work together. So don’t make us do all the hard work.” Eridan replied, a little tensely. “I mean, have you even tried to get out yourself?”

“Is it possible for you to shut up for more than three damn seconds? Of course I’ve tried, do you think I’ve been having a tea party here while waiting for you?!” he shouted back. “This rope is thick as fuck, I can’t get out. Vriska gave me a sickle but it’s on my belt and I can’t reach it. She probably just did it to humiliate me even more, the bitch.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll help you!” Nepeta yelled cheerfully up to him.

Karkat grumbled for a few seconds before reluctantly calling back, “fine, help then!”

It was at that moment that the two realised they had no idea how to help. They both shifted their eyes around the room with quizzical frowns of deep concentration, but truthfully they both knew that neither of them had any clue as to how they were meant to fix the situation.

“Uh…” Nepeta stalled, scanning the area for another cobalt note, but finding none. “It might help if you told us how you got here. Perhaps Vriska said something that could help us out?”

Karkat’s face made an expression that looked like he was about to explode upon hearing that they didn’t immediately know the remedy for his ailment. But, after better judgement had apparently smacked him around the face, he calmed himself down and opened his mouth to speak.

Suddenly his mouth slammed shut, and his jaw crunched with the force. The four large walls creating the box-shaped maze centre began to fill with static and buzz with colours as the image of Vriska came into focus, wearing her traditional pirate eyepatch glasses which incorporated her sparkling vision 8-fold. The camera cut off the picture just below her shoulders but it was possible to see that she was wearing some kind of thick blue jacket with a striped-pattern trim. Somehow she managed to avoid her spiky hair getting caught in the hands and hooks that were constantly waving around on the screen as she made excitable and dramatic gestures.

“Hey!” she said, her voice ringing out through the underground space as the large pictures of her on all four walls moved with the sound, “Finally! You guys took forever to get here.”

“What did you do to him?!” Nepeta growled, posing aggressively and flashing her eyes to each wall in turn.

“Huh? Oh, Karkat.” Vriska replied with a giggle, apparently forgetting about the boy whose jaw she had possibly just broken. “He’s fine, I just didn’t want him to explain how he got here. It’s my amazing story, as if I’m going to let him steal my thunder!”

“Well if you want to tell it so badly, just tell it.” Eridan said, rolling his eyes, “Stop being such a drama queen for once.”

“Oops, sorry. I forgot that that title already belongs to you,” she replied with a mischievous wink, “at least, that’s what Feferi told me. We’ve gotten awfully close lately. You’d better watch out Eridan, I might just sweep her out from under you!”

Eridan’s eyes blazed as he marched the few feet between him and the nearest wall and landed a solid punch into one of the massive Vriskas, which left behind a dent. Fist still connected to the wall, his body starting shaking uncontrollably, his teeth ground together and his hair stood up on end.

“The wall didn’t stop being electrified just because I’m on it now, idiot.” Vriska said with a sigh, shaking her head. “Honestly, what kind of rival are you meant to be?”

Eridan raised his head off of the dusty ground with all his strength and managed to spit at the wall, causing a few sizzles and sparks. “The resilient kind that gets on your nerves,” he replied weakly with a grating voice.

“Will you please stop already?” Nepeta wailed, irritated by the diversion in topic. “Vriska, just tell us what we’re meant to do.”

“Fine, fine, I will,” she said, turning her focus away from Eridan. “So as I was making this dungeon for you, I thought I’d try to make it as interesting as possible. And what’s more interesting than a surprise guest! Well, hostage. Same difference, right? I had so many trolls to consider, but I eventually decided to bring in Karkat because, let’s face it, he would be the most fun to torture."

Karkat made a few inaudible insults as Vriska’s voice boomed over his, but it was Eridan who succeeded in interrupting the marquise to yell, “She asked you what we’re meant to be doing, not for the summary of your freaky smut fiction!”

“How do you know they’re not the same thing?” she retorted with a grin.

Nepeta sunk to the floor, head in her hands. “Please…” she groaned, “stop with…whatever this is meant to be, I don’t know. Just give me a proper answer!”

“I was going to, before I was interrupted! Unlike some, I appreciate the importance of a well-told tale. Even more so if it’s about me!” Vriska replied with a confident smile. “So I’ll help set the scene of your challenge with a quick overview of what’s happened, ok? Ok! So, as I said, I chose Karkat as my victim. But, unsurprisingly, Karkat the nooksucker was a complete nooksucker and didn’t want to play ball. He came around after a while though. Did you know that I’m really good at encouraging trolls? It’s one of my many, many talents.”

“You didn’t encourage me, you assgrabing moron!” Karkat screamed, leaving Vriska’s story interrupted for a second time. “You mind-controlled me!”

“Well, yes, maybe a little bit of mental manipulation was in play. But who cares? If you’re going to be so easy to control then you’re practically asking for it!” she laughed loudly over the grumblings and complaints of the others, ignoring their disapprovals completely. “Anyway, with a little help from me, Karkat became very cooperative. Not quite cooperative enough to let me tie him up so I had to help a little more with that, but oh well, baby steps. With Karkat in place, I then contacted Sollux who happily accepted my assistance!”

Another angry cry came from Karkat as he ranted, “Sollux you grubfisting piece of shit! How dare you betray me! Fuck! Why would he help you? What could you have said to make him take the disgusting plunge and step over to the psycho side?”

“He came to me! I swear! Aradia found some weird tech whilst rolling around in dusty ruins or something and he’s trying to adapt it into a game. It should be pretty cool if he ever finishes it, but he’ll probably get bored halfway through and stop.” Vriska continued, “But he’s really into it right now and was looking for a way to test the codes and stuff in an actual game structure to see if it would work. So I obviously took this golden opportunity! And now, if you look to the machine to your left, I grandly introduce to you…the alchemiter!”

Vriska’s arms reached outwards so that all four images of her signalled towards the strange machine that they had all been slightly curious about.

“I thought I didn’t recognise it,” Eridan said, now fully recovered and standing up. “So you basically cheated?”

“It’s not cheating, it’s improvising!” she argued, “that’s what flarping IS. Spontaneous! Fun!”

“Your mind-control powers are also cheating, by the way.”

“Shush.”

“No. It’s really fucked up, does Ter know you’re doing this?”

“What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her!” Vriska chimed nonchalantly.

“Well we’re going to bring this to everyone’s attention later,” Eridan replied sternly.

“Do your worst, I’ll always find a way out of it,” she replied with a determined smile. “Cheating or not, that thing is your prize. If you beat the final trial, a very special totem will appear. I’ve already done all the hard work so all you need to do is activate the machine by putting the totem on that little pedestal and your prize will appear! You’re welcome. Obviously this is just a test-run for Sollux’s thing so don’t blame me if it breaks or anything though.”

“And you’ll let Karkat go?” Nepeta scowled, keeping her eyes on the real prize.

“Of course, if he’s so desperate to be boring and leave,” Vriska replied. “How cute. Really Karkat, what did a guy like you do to deserve such a loyal disciple?”

“Just start the stupid trial,” Nepeta said angrily, although her cheeks were flushing. “Let’s get this over with.”

Vriska laughed deviously. “Fine, let’s play!” She announced, “Find a way to stop your enemy and you win! But he’s a barbaric fighter, so you’ll have to think fast. Go!”

Vriska rose her hand into the view of the camera and snapped her fingers. The second the sound echoed through the room, Karkat’s eyes went blank. The real Karkat had been pushed to the back, and someone else had now invaded and taken control of his body. The rope broke. His body, flailing in manipulated rage, fell through the air before thrashing into the rocky ground. Bones must have been broken, it was inevitable, but as Nepeta screamed and ran forwards the boy began to stand. Nepeta’s run slowed to a jog and then finally to a disgusted, terrified stop as she listened to the crunches of his broken bones sliding over each other, splintering as the pressure from one weak and damaged bone crushed into the next, until he somehow stood in front of his two petrified friends.

“Karkat…” Nepeta whispered, “Are you ok?”

“Nep, step back.” Eridan instructed, reaching for his gun. Nepeta noticed immediately.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice shaking. “You can’t shoot him!”

“I won’t, but we’ve got to defend ourselves.” Eridan replied, putting the Ahab’s Crosshairs on his shoulder and aiming it at the panting zombie ahead of them.

Nepeta’s eyes darted around the room, looking for some kind of way out of this horrible situation, but all she could see was Vriska’s smirking face as she bathed in the enjoyment of the chaos unfolding in front of her.

“Nep!”

He moved impossibly fast, and the overwhelmed girl wouldn’t have been able to act in time even if she had been focusing on the threat. She was violently side tackled and sent flying before a weight pounded her into the ground, pinning her down effectively as furious punches pummelled into her.

She squealed, holding up one arm as a weak barrier and desperately reaching for the daggers attached to her side with the other. Karkat took hold of Nepeta’s small arm and yanked it ruthlessly, resulting in the gruesome sound of tendons being torn apart and bones grating and snapping in the wrong directions.

Bearing through the pain, tears streaming, she managed to unhook one dagger and wave it across her in a small effort of defence. The blade made contact with the boy’s arm, but the cut was so minimal that it didn’t even draw blood and his only reaction was to become even more enraged by the slight inconvenience. His eyes flashed with angry fire as he pressed firmly down on Nepeta’s damaged arm, causing her entire body to go limp and weaken with the pain yet find enough energy to shake with the shock of it all. He reached behind him and then raised his arm to reveal the glistening edge of a sickle. Nepeta winced, whimpering quietly and waiting for the blow, for she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop it.

A loud cry filled her ears as a tornado force threw the attacker off of her. She dared to open one eye to see two boys wrestling violently to the side of her until Eridan, digging his knees into Karkat’s chest and stabbing the end of the gun into his cheek, had a stable upper hand.

Eridan glared into Karkat’s eyes, violet blood dribbled from the corner of his torn mouth as he breathed in and out heavily, his trembling finger gripping the trigger with false bravery.

“Eridan don’t!” Nepeta cried, but it came out as more of a strained whisper. “It’s not his fault!”

“He’s too strong!” Eridan barked. “I have him now, if we leave it he could attack us again. He almost ripped your arm off, he was going to kill you for fuck’s sake!”

The last sentence came out more emotional than he had planned, and he dug the nozzle of the gun further into Karkat’s face as he clenched his eyes shut for a second to recover.

“Please! I’m ok, really!” she said, forcing strength into her voice and attempting to sit up. “This is just a game, Eridan. Don’t do something you’ll regret for the rest of your life!”

“But it’s not just a game, this is life and death!” he shouted back, voice still quivering a little. Karkat then erupted with movement as he tried to break free from the seadweller’s grasp, but Eridan managed with a struggle to push him back down. “I can’t hold him forever, he’s going to get up and kill us! Don’t you understand, Nep? This isn’t Kar anymore, it’s Vris! And she doesn’t give two shits about who lives and who dies, as long as she protects herself! We have to defeat our enemy, that’s what she said, otherwise we’re both going to end up dead!”

“There has to be another way!” Nepeta howled, tears now readily falling down her puffy cheeks. “She wouldn’t! She…she just can’t, ok? This can’t be what we’re meant to do!”

“It is!” Eridan screamed back as the boy beneath him exploded with strength yet again. “We need to do something now, and if not this then what?!”

One leg slipped with the vibrations and Karkat flew forwards a few inches, his back leaving the floor temporarily before Eridan had the chance to slam him back down. Eridan lowered his own body further in an attempt to increase the pressure on Karkat. By shifting the gun so that it was now pointing upwards under the boy’s jaw, Eridan was able to bury his face in the black shirt with the familiar grey sign. With no witnesses close enough to see, he allowed himself to release some distressed whispered wails into the dark material. Looking up slightly, he then caught sight of something that shouldn’t have been on his friend: a metal collar. The shiny band that pinched Karkat’s grey skin had been previously hidden by his clothes, but now that he was close enough Eridan could see the tiny inscription on it:

Defeat the real enemy.

A blue note, of course, she did seem to like these. For a second he wondered if there had been one left at each trial and that they had just missed the notes of the first two? But he quickly ignored these thoughts; now was definitely not the time to start analysing Vriska’s strategies! Considering the note, he supposed their current enemy would be the boy under him who had just come very close to slicing and dicing the girl who was in love with him. Eridan glanced at Nepeta. Her eyes were big and fearful, her lips had crumbled into a terrified frown not often seen on her childlike face which had now transformed into the unnervingly deathly pale face of pure horror.

No. Nepeta was right. Of course she was right, why had he been so quick to dismiss her? Jealously perhaps, who knows, but for whatever reason it was he somehow knew that he would never admit to it. She was right. It wasn’t Karkat’s fault, he was their friend and not their enemy. The real enemy, the person who had planned and created this whole situation, was the spider cackling behind her monitor.

Suddenly Eridan leapt back by kicking himself off of Karkat’s body, and before the now unfixed threat had a chance to stand up, Eridan put the gun on his shoulder and shot through one of the walls. Then he shot another, and another, and another, until all four images of Vriska had been wiped from the surroundings. The Ahab’s Crosshairs was hot from the charges, so Eridan took it down from his shoulder but kept a tight hold on it as he turned to face Karkat.

Karkat was now standing, apparently not too perturbed by being used as a troll launch pad, and growled at Eridan with his hand tightening around the handle of his scythe. But then it loosened.

“Fuuuuuck…” he groaned, stumbling slightly before making the intelligent decision of sitting down before he fell and impaled himself on his own blade. “What was…hey, ow, why does everything fucking hurt?!”

“Karkitty!” Nepeta cheered in elation, tears still drying. Eridan breathed a massive sigh and fell to the ground in overwhelming relief.

“I'm not fucking kidding that EVERYTHING hurts! Argh, I think my legs are broken...Vriska made me stand on broken legs holy...Wait am I bleeding anywhere?!” Karkat exclaimed, examining every small cut or bruise with sincere attention but he seemed to find comfort in the mere fact that there was no blood flowing out for the others to see. It was then that he finally glanced over at Nepeta. “Oh my f…fuck…Nepeta, damn I…I did that didn’t I? You’re bleeding and…your arm, holy fucking shit your arm is out of its socket.”

He tried to rush to her side to look over her wounds, but it was more of a painfully slow drag with a lot of quiet cursing. Once there, his hands shook as they hovered over each injury that he had caused, his lively eyes staring in disgust at the marks left upon the small girl by him.

“Karkitty…it’s ok.” She said with a smile, reaching up with her uninjured arm to stroke his thick dark hair in consolation.

“No it’s not ok,” he replied, squeezing his eyes shut as anger built up inside him. “How is this fucking ok? I tried to kill you, I did this to your arm. Is your arm going to be ok in real life? If I broke your arm you won’t be able to draw, and shit do you love drawing, and I would have taken that away from you! It’s all my fault for being such an impressionable grubshit, how is that ok?”

“Kar, don’t freak out,” Eridan commented, still breathing heavily. “Real life flarping consequences only really happen with serious injuries like comas, paralysis, loss of limb and death. It looks like you dislocated her arm or something, maybe tore a few muscles and stuff like that. She’ll probably have to wear a sling in real life for a while but I doubt the damage will be permanent. Even your broken limbs will eventually heal, but it'll take maybe a perigee or so.”

This information calmed him slightly, but Karkat remained extremely penitent and guilty, resulting in about fifteen minutes of apologies to the two of them and harsh self-deprecation before anyone realised that a shiny blue totem had appeared in the centre of the room. Actually, Eridan thought, upon consideration, did this maze-centre count as a room anymore? The gun had blasted the four walls to smithereens, as well as all the ones behind them, and it was now actually possible to see the corridor from which they entered into the hollow cavern. Damn did he wish he had just shot the wall to begin with, it would've taken half the time to get through! In the other direction there was another hole in the wall, though it was unclear whether this was made from the Crosshairs or not, that appeared to lead out to a dangerous cliff edge, which didn’t’ make any sense at all considering they were underground.

“Where are we?” Eridan muttered to himself, apparently the only one taking in the scenery as Karkat pathetically tried to help Nepeta get to her feet. Somewhat nervously, she took it upon herself to receive the totem and put it on the pedestal as earlier instructed. As soon as she did this, everyone’s attention was captured by the dazzling light that shone out from the large circular stage on the machine. A few seconds later, the sparkles died down to a shimmer and their clearer vision revealed that an item had been materialised.

“It’s a pair of fingerless gloves,” Nepeta announced. “They look just like the ones I have at my hive.”

Eridan walked over and picked up one of them, feeling the weight in his palm. “They’re too heavy, I think they’ve got something in them,” he said, passing it to the girl to look at. “Can you find a switch or a button?”

Nepeta placed one glove on and wriggled her fingers. As if knowing exactly how to activate it, she flicked her thumb against the side of her index finger and four blue piercing blades sprung out above the fingers.

“I was right, these are just like my ones!” she exclaimed with a giggle. “I think these were made for me.”

“Probably, but I doubt they’re exactly the same as yours,” Eridan replied and took her wrist. He folded the glove material up and found a tag with the item code on it, which he then typed into his tablet. “If it has a code, it has stats. Vris wouldn’t have left that kind of crucial information out, even if she had to write it herself…yeah here it is. Oh wow, holy glubfuckers is this thing is POWERFUL!”

Eridan showed the stats and summary to the other two and explained, “These gloves are ten times stronger than your dirks are. Plus there are no restrictions on alterations and uses, so you could even climb with them or dip them in poison if we find any. And that’s all ignoring the fact that you’ll be a hell of a lot more naturally skilled with these since you use something similar every day.”

Nepeta retracted the claws with an endearingly mischievous grin and reached for the other glove. She put it on carefully, but it was also clear to the boys that her arm was causing her a lot of pain even by doing this simple movement.

“We’ve got to sort out your arm,” Karkat said from down on the ground. “I’m going to feel like a complete shitwad about it until you feel even better than before.”

“I agree. If you can’t move an entire limb then that’s a serious disadvantage to have in this game,” Eridan said. “If we come across anything stronger than one or two imps then your arm could get permanently damaged. And that injury in a battle could even lead to worse...”

“Why even risk it?” Karkat yelled in frustration. “Just pull out of this stupid game. It’s fucking dangerous!”

“It’s not stupid and I don’t care if it’s dangerous!” Nepeta suddenly shouted angrily. “You can’t tell me what to do and I’m going to play!”

“Uh, ok.” Karkat replied uneasily. “Shit I was just making a suggestion.”

“Ugh sorry, you just reminded me of someone,” she replied with a sigh, awkwardly avoiding his eyes which held a glimmer of genuine concern. “What I mean is that I’ve made a commitment and I’m not going to back out of this now. If Vriska wants to raise the bar then we’re just going to have to raise our efforts!”

“Ha, sure. I’m up for the challenge,” Eridan replied with a confident wink. “She’s going to crash and burn! Just don’t push yourself too hard, ok?”

“Yes sir, Mr President Ampora sir!” Nepeta shouted obediently in reply, giggling a little afterwards.

“Gog, you’re so embarrassing,” Eridan said, rolling his eyes and chuckling. “Vice President Leijon.”

“Is there some kind of conspiracy going on here that I don’t know about?” Karkat asked, a confused expression on his face. “Because if there is I thought that I’d made it pretty fucking clear in the past that if there are any leadership opportunities going then I’m immediately in charge, no questions asked.”

“Sorry Kar, this is an exception for the world of FLARP.” Eridan grinned and then added, “Jegus.”

“I’m so fucking lost. You’re not making any sense.” Karkat sighed. “Oh who cares, it’s probably something weird that I don’t want to be a part of. Have you been talking to Gamzee? This sounds like the freaky stuff that’s said in his weird faygo-induced made up religion.”

“How dare you accuse me of drinking that revolting stuff!” Eridan gasped. “I mean, I get that it’s technically just soda...and I may have tried a little in the past...and it wasn’t THAT bad...it was just really artificially sweet orange flavour that’s all...but hey I’m not a regular faygo drinker, ok?!”

“Dude,” Karkat brought his hand to his forehead. “I’ve told you before that that stuff messes with you. Just say no.”

“I don’t need a lecture, Kar,” Eridan crossed his arms stubbornly. “I’m not an addict or believe in miracles or anything like that weirdo Gam. Miracles are just like magic: stupid and fake!”

“Yes, Eridan, everyone knows your opinion on magic!” Nepeta said in exasperation. “And also no one cares.”

Karkat started laughing which resulted in Eridan dramatically presenting his well-rehearsed argument which no one really took any notice of.

“Come on, I am so ready to leave this dungeon,” Nepeta continued. “I guess we go on that transportalizer?”

“Looks like it,” Eridan replied, his nerves still bubbling. “As insufferable as you are, Kar, do you want to join us for a session after you've healed?”

“Ha, no.” He answered bluntly, “I broke my legs, that's enough discouragement for most sane trolls. Anyway, don't you remember my unchallengeable opinion of this game?”

“Yeah ‘course.” Eridan said, “I just thought I’d ask anyway.”

“I said it’s…”

“Yeah I said I remember.”

“A fucking…”

“Kar no one cares.”

“Piece of…”

“Just log out already.”

“Shit…wait, what?” His sarcasm faded into confusion as he repeated, “Since when can I just log out?”

“You…didn’t even try to log out?” Eridan reiterated in shock, “I figured Vris had got Sol to mess with the codes and lock you in. But you’re telling me you could have got out at any time?!”

“I didn’t know how!” Karkat shouted in anger, “I’ve never played before!”

“Are you serious?” Eridan cried, “How retarded do you have to be? It’s literally the same in every single game in existence! Pull up the menu, go to options and select log out!”

“Well I guess I’ll do that now, shall I?!” Karkat yelled, making a point of dramatically pulling up the menu screen, “you know, maybe if I hadn’t been sucked into this shitnado of a game without consent in the first place then I wouldn’t have had to do anything!”

“You can’t shout your way out of this one,” Eridan groaned. “This was pure idiocy and you know it.”

“Shut the fuck up Ampora,” he roared, now one click away from vanishing back into reality. “And I swear to anything, if you contact me again about all this brainless bullshit you dare give the prestigious label of ‘game’ to, I will log in for one last time just to murder you in cold violet blood! Clear?”

Eridan gave a silent little two-fingered salute in response. Karkat scowled, he selected the ‘log out’ button with one hand and with the other gave Eridan the finger before the image of him faded away.

“What a moron,” Eridan said with a chuckle once he had disappeared.

“He really hates flarping, doesn’t he?” Nepeta commented.

“I guess extreme role-playing isn’t for everyone.” He shrugged and walked over to the transportalizer, “ready?”

Nepeta skipped over. “Definitely,” she said, beaming up at him.

Eridan stepped onto it first and vanished, then Nepeta followed.

 

***

As soon as she arrived at her new location, she heard a large crunch as the transportalizer beneath her broke apart.

Looking up, she took in her surroundings and came to the quick conclusion that this place may be much worse than the dungeon they had just escaped.

“Nep,” it was Eridan’s voice. She turned to see him and he guided her off the broken platform that now offered no way of return.

“Where are we?” she whispered, looking up at the large bars that fell down around them like a waterfall of spears.

“Looks like a cage,” Eridan replied, putting an arm around her. “Don’t worry, this shit is elementary. It just means we have to wait a bit longer before we can relax properly.”

“Elementary?” A weak, croaky voice echoed. They looked to where the voice had come from and saw Tavros leaning tiredly against the bars. At his feet was Aradia who seemed to be struggling to even keep her eyes open, but she managed to maintain a hollow stare at the two new arrivals long enough to cause them to consider whether she was yet another hologram to test them, or simply possessed. But sadly, she was neither. She was dreadfully real.

“I don’t think you’ll be getting out of here that easily,” she said, her words drifting over to them with sleepy concern.

“We’ve been locked in here since the campaign began.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note to say that I'm in the middle of my exams right now and so any late updates will be due to that :P


	9. Mended Parts

“What do you mean?” Nepeta uttered into the damp, dusty air.

“Didn’t you ever notice? Neither Tavros nor I have been active on the memo since the first few hours of play.” Aradia explained further, “after we noticed that Vriska was showing signs of instability on the memos, I decided to talk to her and warn her not to take the game too seriously. But she lost her temper with me, saying that our team was pathetic and should be wiped out. I thought it was over after that, but later she ambushed us and knocked us out. When we woke up we were here.”

“Have you tried logging out?” Eridan asked, a hint of humour in his voice.

“Well, yeah.” Tavros replied with a cough, “first we tried to contact you but, uh, no one replied. So then we tried to log out but nothing seems to work here.”

“Vriska probably designed this place using glitchy bugs, either accidentally or purposefully, probably the latter. I’ve heard of some corrupted flarpers doing this a lot, although the game is doing everything it can to stop them. But now there’s no connection to basic game concepts here.” Aradia confirmed. To prove her point, she pulled up the menu screen but all that was there was an empty black box. “Vriska does feed us, and every now and again she talks to us through a speaker phone, but other than that we’ve been bored out of our minds.”

“And Terezi just let this happen?” Nepeta exclaimed, shocked by the tale of what had happened to two of her closest friends.

“Terezi wasn’t there when Vriska ambushed us.” Aradia pondered out loud, “So I suspect she doesn’t know about all this. Have you heard from her?”

“No,” Nepeta replied sorrowfully. “I hope she’s ok.”

“Man, Vris has completely lost it,” Eridan commented. “I mean, a seriously weird brain-fucking dungeon is one thing, but imprisoning friends is on a whole other level of crazy.”

“She’s been messing with you too?” Tavros sighed. And then he frowned and added, “hey, aren’t you our clouder? Weren’t you supposed to like, be able to see us and notice if something was wrong?”

“Well I had to neglect my clouding duties quite a bit since Vris was trying to kill me and Nep with a raging Kar,” he replied. “Who also happened to break his legs so we should probably send him a card or something. So yeah, sorry I didn’t check up on you guys.”

“Wait, what happened with Karkat?” Tavros prompted, curious and a little concerned.

“It’s a long story, I’ll tell it later.” Eridan shook his head, remembering both the immorally repulsive moments of the dungeon as well as the embarrassing ones he wouldn’t like to retell.

“Don’t worry,” Aradia muttered coldly. “We have plenty of time to waste.”

The tension became heavy as the trolls wondered what to say next to each other next. If Tavros and Aradia had been kept here since near enough the beginning then how long was that? A week? Nepeta had started to lose track of how much time in-game she had spent, and she guessed that the others had too.

“Why has she done this?” Nepeta asked, sinking to the floor like the Team Charge members.

“Well I know that her duties to her lusus means that she has to feed the spider a lot of trolls, so she goes here to slay them for her,” Aradia replied, her voice still husky from the unnatural air. “Perhaps the stress got to her? But who knows really.”

Nepeta crawled across the floor to cosy up with her friends. She rested her head on Tavros’s shoulder and began to stroke through Aradia’s thick hair. “I’m sorry we couldn’t find you sooner,” she said softly and slowly, deep regret in her voice. “You must have been scared, and really missed the others outside the game.”

She felt Tavros’s head nod shakily, but Aradia had a different reaction.

“Have you heard from Sollux?” She asked perkily as she sat up straight and faced Nepeta.

“He’s working with Serket, we know that much,” Eridan answered from behind her. “He’s the one who’s been helping Vris mess with the codes and let her cheat. He probably made this place, the scum.”

“Hey, that’s my matesprit!” Aradia hissed sharply before turning to Nepeta again and saying, “Did he say anything? Or do anything?”

“Well, Eridan is kind of right…he really is helping Vriska. Sorry,” she replied sympathetically.

“Yes, I know that,” she said, rolling her eyes as if it were obvious. “But is there anything you have on you that he designed or coded? Or maybe he gave you a clue?”

“Um, I know he coded these,” Nepeta said, slightly perturbed by Aradia’s sudden change in behaviour. She held up her hands and displayed the gloves, releasing the sharp claws which sliced ferociously into the ghostly thin air.

“Perfect,” she grinned. “Take them off and let me see them for a minute please!”

Although confused, Nepeta did as she was told and retracted the claws before handing the garments to Aradia who immediately started tapping and scratching at the leather material.

“Aradia…what are you doing?” Nepeta asked carefully, fully aware of the manic smiles coming from both the girl tearing at her gloves and Tavros.

“We’ve been waiting for this, and now we’re finally going to get out of here!” She exclaimed gleefully. A moment or so later, Aradia twisted a small metal stud which opened a hatch to reveal a complex-looking electronic system somehow packed into the thin layer of material. “Here!”

“What IS that?” Nepeta asked in wonder. The wires interloped and a tiny monitor, only a few millimetres in size, sizzled with static in the centre of the compartment.

“Sollux has never really trusted Vriska, and neither have I, so a long while ago we decided to set up a plan of emergency in case anything bad happened,” Aradia explained, already fiddling with the interfaces and what looked to be the RAM. “We agreed that if I didn’t contact him for two days, that he should presume I’m in trouble and should send me a device to troll him that can get past most security blocks. He taught me how to do the final steps and activate it so that only I can use it.”

The others watched in growing anticipation as Aradia rearranged teeny golden plates and thin coloured wires, her eyes becoming more and more vibrant each time they flashed from the static monitor to the motherboard.

Suddenly the static vanished and was replaced with a white box with incredibly small mustard yellow writing on it. Aradia put one finger behind the monitor and slid the plastic down to uncover a keyboard that left the others wondering how on Alternia she was going to be able to type the individual letters on such tiny keys.

 

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]  
TA: hey aa you haven’t talked two me iin a whiile 2o ii gue22 vk ha2 done 2omethiing retarded liike we expected.  
TA: ii triied two ju2t giive thii2 two you the ea2y way but ii couldn’t fiind you anywhere iin the game.  
TA: and ii mean ii u2ed all my cool hackiing 2kiill2 and everythiing.  
TA: so riight now ii’m pretendiing two be pals wiith vk ju2t two even get thiis thiing iin her 2tupiid liittle game.  
TA: and ii 2wear that every 2econd ii 2pend talkiing two her make2 me want to riip out my eyeball2 and choke my2elf wiith them ju2t that liittle biit more.  
TA: but anyway ii gue22 iit’s worth iit two help you.  
TA: reply 2oon, ok?  
TA: al2o np 2hould have thiis 2o ii don’t know how long iit’ll be before you get iit.  
TA: hopefully 2he doe2n’t try groomiing her2elf and the 2aliiva break2 the 2y2tem.  
TA: damn ii 2hould have made thii2 thiing waterproof.  
TA: oh well iit’ll have two do now.  
TA: anyway ii 2hould probably 2top trolliing iif there’2 no one on the other 2iide two reply.  
TA: ii gue22 ii’m ju2t beiing 2iilly becau2e ii’m worriied about you that’2 all.  
TA: 2o bye.  
TA: hope you’re ok.  
TA: <3  
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]  
apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]  
AA: s0llux!  
TA: aa oh my god are you alriight  
TA: ii’ve been tryiing two get hold of you for forever.  
AA: i kn0w and im s0rry  
AA: but vriska has tavr0s and i l0cked up!  
TA: 2hiit where?  
TA: ii can’t 2ee you or anythiing eiither.  
AA: we d0nt kn0w where  
AA: its s0me cage in a dark r00m but thats all we can see  
TA: iif you can’t 2ee anythiing el2e then iit wa2 probably de2iigned very ba2iically 2o that vk could concentrate all her tiime iinto the code2 two keep you iin2iide.  
AA: is that g00d 0r bad  
TA: kiind of both.  
TA: iit mean2 that iit’ll be a biitch two hack but wiill be ea2y two fiind iif 2he ha2n’t bothered two hiide iit well.  
TA: ii’ve been 2earchiing for YOU iin2tead of the biig black game 2pace you are iin.  
TA: 2o now ii know what ii’m lookiing for iit 2hould 2iimple two locate you.  
AA: c00l!  
AA: i cant even begin t0 describe h0w badly we all want t0 get 0ut of here  
TA: ii thought iit wa2 ju2t you and tv.  
AA: nepeta and eridan arrived a few minutes ag0 actually  
AA: they said vriska warped them here after a really h0rrible dunge0n  
TA: yeah can you do me a favour and never play wiith that freakzoiid ever agaiin.  
TA: better yet don’t even talk two her.  
AA: trust me  
AA: 0ur friendship is 0ver  
AA: if it ever was a real friendship...  
TA: you’re not actually up2et about thii2 are you.  
TA: becau2e you 2eriiou2ly 2houldn’t be and ii won’t let you be.  
TA: aa lii2ten 2he’s a terriible per2on and you’re way better off wiithout her.  
AA: yeah i kn0w  
AA: its just sad that even after all the time weve spent having fun t0gether that shed still d0 this t0 me  
AA: and i d0nt even kn0w why shes d0ing it!  
AA: i really h0pe she can explain  
TA: ii doubt 2he can.  
TA: ii’ve never tru2ted her.  
AA: i kn0w y0u havent  
AA: but d0nt you dare tell me y0u t0ld me s0!  
TA: ii wa2n’t goiing two!  
TA: ehehe but ii kiinda diid tell you.  
TA: let’s ju2t get you out of there before 2he doe2 any real damage.  
TA: ii’ve found a weiird blacked out dome on the map and the code2 2ay iit was created by vk 2o ii’m gue22iing thii2 ii2 where you are.  
AA: 00h quick w0rk!  
TA: yeah well ii am pretty awe2ome.  
TA: but there ii2 al2o a 2liight problem.  
AA: 0h?  
TA: yeah vk left thii2 thiing wiide open for a rea2on.  
TA: that rea2on beiing that thii2 place ii2 coded tiight a2 fuck.  
TA: like ii can’t even comprehend riight now.  
TA: ii don’t thiink ii can hack thii2.  
AA: what!  
AA: but y0u can hack anything!  
AA: theres n0 way that vriska c0uld have designed s0mething even y0u cant get past  
TA: ii don’t thiink 2he made thii2.  
TA: ii mean ii’ve been pretendiing two help her wiith code2 for the pa2t couple of day2 and ii’ve 2een her 2kiill level.  
TA: 2he mu2t be gettiing out2iide help but ii’ve no idea who from.  
AA: s0  
AA: we are still stuck here?  
TA: ii’ll figure 2omethiing out, ii promii2e.  
AA: yeah  
AA: i believe y0u  
AA: its just that we have waited s0 l0ng already  
TA: ii know but ii’ll work as quiickly as ii can.  
TA: iif ii can ju2t 2pend 2ome tiime workiing on the tran2criipt2 then maybe ii can figure out how two open a doorway even iif iit’s ju2t for a few 2econd2.  
AA: 0k i guess we will have t0 sit tight and wait  
AA: but its 0k  
AA: just talking t0 y0u has made me feel much better already!  
TA: diitto, ii’ve mii22ed talkiing two you.  
TA: and ii hate that thii2 conver2atiion ha2 two be 2o 2hort.  
AA: me t00  
AA: but y0uve g0t imp0rtant w0rk t0 d0!  
TA: yeah, ii gue22 2aviing you and a bunch of my friiend2 from an eviil marquii2e doe2 kiind of count a2 iimportant.  
AA: yes it kind 0f d0es!  
AA: s0 get g0ing already  
AA: ill be waiting!  
AA: <3  
TA: ii’ll be wiith you 2oon.  
TA: <3  
apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

 

“Oh, are you done?” Nepeta asked, noticing that Aradia was now closing the hatch on the glove to conceal the monitor.

“Yes,” Aradia replied with a smile. “I spoke with Sollux and he says the codes are tough but he’s putting all his effort into rescuing us.”

The hollow, ghostly Aradia that had been huddling on the floor when they had first discovered their friends in the gloomy cage had now all but disappeared. Apparently just one short conversation with Sollux was all that was needed to bring Aradia back to her perky, optimistic self. Her eyes were now glowing so vibrantly that they almost seemed to vanquish the shadows that surrounded them all.

“Well that’s great,” Nepeta trilled happily. “Sollux is really good at computers and stuff, right?”

“He’s simply the best there is,” Aradia smiled. “We won’t have to wait too long, but he says Vriska probably got help when coding this place so it’s a bit hard to crack.”

“Who would help Vriska do this?” she asked thoughtfully.

“No idea,” Aradia shrugged. “But there’s only so many people it can be, so I’m sure we’ll find out.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Nepeta replied. She glanced behind her, expecting to see Eridan looming over her with his tall, skinny composure. But instead he was sat over on the other side of the cage, knees up to cheeks and staring dismally at the ground.

With a concerned frown, Nepeta wandered over to him and sat down beside him. She clung to his arm and rubbed her head against his shoulder comfortingly and asked softly, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing really, don’t worry about it,” he replied with a sigh.

“Eridan don’t be silly and hide things from me,” she said, staring up at him. “You can tell me what’s wrong, I want to help!”

“It’s just...about all that stuff before, you know, in the dungeon,” he explained. “Thinking back, we said a lot of stuff and saw a lot of stuff about each other. And I just wish we hadn’t.”

“Why not?” she mewed, confused.

“Don’t you wish I’d never seen that thing between you and holo-Eq?” he questioned. “Or found out about your flushed quadrant?”

“Well, now that you mention it...” she said quietly, but drifted off into thought.

“Listen, the stuff you saw with me and Fef, I mean holo-Fef,” he said, rushing his words somewhat to force them out into the open. “I’d really rather we never spoke about it again. Can we just pretend that it never happened in the first place?”

“But it did happen!” Nepeta replied. “I think it’s important that we talk about these things, otherwise they’ll get all clogged up inside and drive us mad.”

“So you think we should talk about what holo-Eq said to you?” he challenged. “And what you said and how it made you feel?”

“I…think it will be hard,” she replied, biting her lip slightly. “But I still think it is necessary.”

“Really?” He said, stunned by her refusal to back down. “Ok, well...what do you want to talk about? Regarding all that, I mean.”

“I don’t know,” she answered, glad that she had convinced Eridan to open up but now beginning to get cold feet. “I guess that, even though it was a horrible experience, I learnt a lot from it. Like, I learnt that I miss Equius more than I let myself believe.”

“So you want to be moirails with him again?” he asked.

“I think so,” she muttered. “I mean, he drives me crazy with some of the things he says, but all he really needs is someone to help him see his faults so that he can change. I guess I wasn’t a very good meowrail to him...”

“Nep, don’t be ridiculous,” he said sternly. “There are only two sets of moirails amongst our friends, Glub knows what Kan and Vris are, but we all know that you and Eq are the dream team.”

“You think so?” she said with a little smile.

“Never been so sure,” he confirmed along with a smile of his own. “You’ve just hit a rough patch, that’s all. Moirails go through them all the time. Fef and I seem to always be in rough patches.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true,” she replied reassuringly. “You and Feferi are great moirails!”

“You know, I used to think that we were,” Eridan sighed. “But now? I don’t know.”

“What happened?” Nepeta asked.

“We just…” he trailed off, trying to find the words but all that escaped him was a small defeated laugh. “We just suck at being moirails I think.”

“Oh come on Eridan,” she rolled her eyes. “You can’t suck at being meowrails! You’ve been together for a really long time, you have to be good for each other.”

“I think we are, or at least might be. But just,” his voice slowly got quieter and more strained as he squeezed the last few words out in a high-pitched squeal. “Maybe in a redder quadrant?”

“Really?” Nepeta gasped. “I mean, I kind of got the gist of the feelings from the whole hologram thing but I didn’t know how serious you were about it. Are you going to say something to her?”

“I don’t know, I guess I should,” he said, running his fingers through his thick hair stressfully. “But it’s going to be hard to bring up, you know?”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” she replied with a shared nervousness.

“But you’re the shipping expert,” he said with a sense of confidence in his voice. “What do you think I should do?”

“What do I think?!” She spluttered. “Um, well, I don’t know. I have my own ships for everyone but that doesn’t mean you should just do whatever I say!”

“Nah, I’m sure you’ve thought about it, right?” Eridan pressed. “You think about all ships. I just want to hear your opinion on it.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said, her cheeks flushing green. “My ships are private. They could upset people.”

“Jeez I know. They’re so private you smashed my face into the ground before I could even get close to your hive when we first joined the game.” He chuckled at the memory and rubbed the bridge of his nose which had ploughed up quite a lot of dirt during the incident. “But come on, we’re friends now. Just one measly ship about me, that’s all I’m asking. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing really,” she said with a sigh. “Ok I’ll tell you, but can you promise not to get angry?”

“Uh, why would I be angry?” He asked nervously, the smile wobbling off his face. “It’s cool, I want to know and I’m ready for whatever you tell me.”

As Eridan took a breath in, so did Nepeta. “Ok well, I don’t actually ship you and Feferi as meowrails,” she admitted.

“Ok, that’s fair.”

“And…I don’t ship her as your matespurrit either.”

“Wait, what?” He asked, recoiling slightly to face her more head-on. “How come?”

“I just don’t think you’re very well-suited to each other’s personalities,” Nepeta explained awkwardly. “Honestly, I’ve always seen you two as better hissmesises than anything.”

“Kismesises?!” he exclaimed, causing the others to turn and look over to the two trolls. He lowered his voice and whispered, “why the fuck would you think we were black for each other?!”

“Well you both just have such different views on stuff!” Nepeta replied with a hushed squeal. “Different views on the hemeowspectrum, on the landdweller-seadweller war, plus you both have polar-opposite personalities.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, now apparently desperate for any redeeming qualities to a red romance between them.

“She’s super excitable, fun and optimistic,” she explained. “And you’re, well, a little grumpy to be honest.”

“I am not grumpy,” he huffed rather ironically. “Do you seriously think a red romance has no chance of working for us?”

“Nothing has completely zero chances,” she said. “But, at least in my opinion, it’s pretty slim. And even if you did attempt to make it work, it would probably be really unhealthy for the both of you.”

Eridan hung his head and stroked his brow. He let out a long, deep sigh.

“You’re not mad, are you?” she asked quietly, resting a small hand on his shoulder.

“No, I’m not mad,” he replied after a few seconds. “It’s just an opinion. And I can’t get mad at you.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you the answer you wanted,” Nepeta frowned.

“It’s fine, I’m glad you were honest,” he replied, turning his head to look down at her with glossy eyes. “It’s given me a lot to think about actually.”

She gave him a smile, her own eyes beginning to gather tears, and linked her arm in his. She rested her head on his shoulder as she had done before and closed her eyes. “You’ve given me a lot to think about too,” she whispered.

 

***

The two of them had drifted off to sleep, which was fair enough considering the amount of trials and tribulations they had been through in a single day. However they were awoken by Aradia yelling, “wake up! Sollux says we need to get ready to run!”

“Wha…?!” Eridan drawled as he was shaken from his slumber and jolted upwards, knocking Nepeta off his shoulder and leaving her to slink down to the ground.

“Come on,” Aradia ordered, tapping Nepeta lightly on the head a few times to get her going. “Sollux says he’s figured out how to open this place up but it’ll last for less than a minute. We need to be ready to move.”

“Ok, ok,” Nepeta mumbled. “Where are we running?”

“I’m not sure,” Aradia replied. “But that’s why we’ve got to keep an eye out and be ready to sprint.”

Eridan cracked his back and yawned. “So what, a game portal opens or something, we run through and everything’s hunky dory?” He asked.

“I told you I’m not sure,” she replied. “Sollux says he’ll be busy holding the doorway open so he’s sending someone else to show us where to go.”

“Cool, who?”

“Eridan, let’s just assume that I’m not sure on anything, ok?” Aradia rolled her eyes. “We’ll all find out what’s going on soon enough. Our basic instructions are to run, and that’s all that matters really.”

Tavros jogged over to the other three and continued his jogging pace on the spot. He grinned and exclaimed, “come on, I am so ready! Where is he?”

“Any minute now, contain your excitement,” Aradia said sincerely, but it wasn’t long until she broke into a massive smile. “But I’m so excited to finally see something other than metal bars and darkness!”

Tavros squealed and the two of them held hands and jumped on the spot together as you would expect two-sweep-olds to do when told they would be given a treat from their lusus if they behaved well.

Eridan chuckled and rolled his eyes, Nepeta looked at him and giggled too.

At that moment a painful screech erupted within the darkness. The sound bounced off of the bars of the cage and struck their eardrums each and every second, causing the four of them to shrink down to their knees in pain, clasping their aching heads.

The sound was like claws down a cave wall, electric eels splitting open, a chisel scraping against a piece of buried china and a squeal from a tinkerbull getting his delicate wing sliced off. All of these horrible sounds they could relate it to, it was all of them combined and more!

As well as the high-pitched noise that shook their bodies and caused them to collapse onto the floor, a low stomp thrashed against the ground next to them, but they hardly took notice.

“Come,” a quiet voice commanded, but they were ignored.

“You must come with me, we don’t have a lot of time,” the voice urged again, but it fell on deaf ears.

“Get up!” Someone else yelled, someone closer to them all. “He said we have to run, remember?”

Nepeta winced as she opened her eyes, but her vision was blurry as she barely resisted the strong desire to curl up defensively and slam her eyes shut. Her eyes were just wide enough to see a bright light ahead, a rip in the darkness just outside the cage. There was another thing there too, a massive block-shaped thing that she couldn’t make out. Something extended from the direction of the light, and it separated the bars of the cage with amazing strength. The thing that extended, she guessed it was some kind of large arm, then used a scooping action to pick up the four incapacitated players and retracted, pulling them towards the tear in the darkness.

 

***

Light.

Murmurs accumulated from the various trolls adjusting to the new environment they were in with no awful squeals of sound or smoky darkness.

“Oh, it was you,” Aradia breathed. “Thank you so much, it must have been a lot of trouble!”

“It was nothing,” a voice answered, the same quiet voice as before but now in the silent field they had been warped to it was clear and very recognisable. Nepeta snapped her eyes open and saw Aradia laying in front of her. Her eyes shifted from looking at someone behind her, down to Nepeta’s wide pupils.

“Uh, Nepe...”

Before Aradia could attempt to ease her into the situation, Nepeta swished around to see her rescuer.

Standing behind her, casting a massive shadow that she had failed to notice in her daze, was a hulking thirty-foot machine. The height was primarily due to the length of the legs, which were like huge tree trunks. The arms took on a similar appearance and were attached to the main body segment which was a chunky metal box with a strong glass dome covering the top. And peering out from this bubble, was Equius.

“Um, Nepeta,” he said shakily as the glass dome clicked and lifted up. “Please allow me to...”

“Get down here.” She growled.

Equius produced a small towel from the pod he sat in and dabbed at his forehead. “I think I owe you some sort of...”

“I said get down here right now!” She screamed, clenching her fists and baring her teeth at him.

“Er, right, of course.” He said and clambered out of the robot.

After climbing down the last few steps of the ladder, he timidly approached his ex-moirail who was already marching furiously towards him.

“Please Nepeta let me just...” he stuttered again, unable to finish his sentence as the burning eyes of an old friend pinned him to the spot and ceased his bumbling excuses.

She continued to pace towards him, but didn’t stop. When at last she halted, it was with her arms wrapped tightly around Equius’s waist.

“I’m so sorry,” she whimpered, her face buried into his chest and fingers gripping the back of his shirt. “Equius I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you!”

“Nepeta, you have nothing to be sorry about,” he replied in surprise. “It was I who was foolish. I was rude and rejected your opinions as ridiculous whims. That is no way for a moirail to behave.”

“But I should have tried harder to talk to you instead of just shouting like an idiot!” She sobbed. “I wish I hadn’t...I wish I had been more understanding.”

“I must say that if you refuse to accept that this mess was entirely my fault then...I may break your arm.” Equius said.

“What?” Nepeta said, looking up at him with green blotchy eyes.

“Sorry, it was a joke,” he replied with a nervous stretch of his muscles. “I couldn’t think of an appropriate threat.”

She laughed and nuzzled into his chest again, not minding that it was slightly sweaty.

“Can we be friends again?” She asked with a hopeful smile, wiping a dribbling tear from her eye.

“I would be honoured,” Equius replied reverently. “And if I would be so bold as to ask, but would you possibly consider returning to our previous moirailgeance engagement? However I completely understand if you are not prepared to enter that commitment.”

Nepeta’s eyes flicked upwards in thought, but only for a second before she met his gaze again with a wide grin on her beaming face. “I’d love that, Equius.”

She squeezed him tight yet again, and a big smile crept upon Equius’ face. With one finger, he delicately stroked Nepeta’s choppy black hair, being careful not to press too firmly.

“Let’s forget about all this,” she whispered softly so that only he could hear her. “I missed you so much, so impossibly much, Equius. I think our meowrailgeance must really be written in the cosmos. Because I love you, and I need you, ok? Don’t leave me again.”

“I would never leave you,” Equius replied in a hushed tone, still stroking her hair. “I’m a complete mess without you, Nepeta, I need you. And I love you too.”

They stood together like that for however long, they lost track of time. And the others allowed them to. Although some were desperate to get back home as soon as they could, they didn’t dare disturb the beautiful reunion of two halves finding each other again at last.


	10. A Weird Kind of Fronds)(ip

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]  
CA: hey fef  
CC: --ERIDAN!  
CC: Are you ok? I )(eard aboat t)(e w)(ole flarping t)(ing and )(ave been reely worried!  
CA: yeah im good  
CA: an as far as i knoww evveryone else is fine too  
CC: P)(-EW!  
CC: But are you s)(ore?  
CC: It sounds like Vriska went absolutely LOCO!  
CA: yeah she kinda did  
CA: she locked ar an tavv in a cage for like a wweek or somefin  
CA: wwhile me an nep spent forevver in a dumb dungeon  
CC: It sounds )(orribubble! You’re not )(urt, are you?  
CA: i said im alright jegus  
CC: Jegus?  
CA: oh nevvermind  
CA: just an inside joke betwween me an a friend is all  
CC: Glub glub! 38D  
CC: I’m so glad you’re making fronds at last!  
CA: hey wwhat ivve alwways had friends  
CC: )(-E-E )(-E-E you are suc)( a liar.  
CA: wwhat the fuck are you talkin about  
CA: ivve been flarpin wwith these trolls for ages of course theyre my friends  
CC: I t)(oug)(t you never saw t)(em as reel fronds?  
CC: Since you were always complaining and moaning aboat t)(em as w)(ale as trying to BLOW T)(--EM ALL UP!!!  
CA: yeah yeah ok i get wwhat youre sayin  
CA: but things are different noww  
CC: W)(at do you mean different?  
CA: i dont knoww i guess ivve had a lot of time to think an stuff  
CA: goin through wweird trials an spendin nearly all your time playin wwith landdwwellers kinda opens your eyes  
CC: -Eridan I don’t undersand w)(at you mean...  
CC: Are you saying t)(at you’ve rejected t)(e )(emospectrum? 38O  
CA: er wwell i wwouldnt go that far  
CA: but wwhat i mean is that you learn certain things wwhen you go through certain experiences  
CA: an i think i discovvered some important stuff about myshellf in that game session  
CC: O)( yea)(?  
CC: Sounds interestingray! W)(at did you learn?  
CA: mainly that im a douche wwith unrealistic dreams thatll nevver come true cos of howw much of a tool i am  
CC: -ERIDAN T)(AT’S A TERIBUBBL-E T)(ING TO SAY!!  
CC: Take it back rig)(t NOW.  
CA: dont be difficult fef you knoww its true  
CA: i nevver realised it but noww that i havve evverythins comin together like a jigsaww puzzle  
CA: evveryone hates me fef  
CA: but im gonna try an change that  
CC: I like you. 38(  
CC: You’re doing t)(e stupid self-pity t)(ing again so just snap out of it!  
CA: no no im not bein dramatic or anythin  
CA: im deadly serious  
CA: all my friends hate me an i knoww cause they pretty much told me so  
CC: W)(O SAID SUC)( M--EAN STUFF TO MY MORAYEEL???  
CA: dont wworry about it it doesnt evven matter  
CA: wwhat does matter is that people pointed out my flawws to me an ivve finally realised wwhat a humungous idiot i am  
CC: I reely don’t like w)(ere t)(is is going.  
CC: Do you want me to come over to your place and we can do self-esteem building activities toget)(er?  
CA: oh no not that  
CA: Gog anythin but that again  
CA: its so borin i wwanna drowwn myself  
CA: if that wwere evven possible  
CC: Ok no need for t)(e t)(eatrics, I get it!!  
CC: And w)(at’s t)(is otter strange word ‘Gog’?  
CA: another inside joke just ignore me  
CC: An inside joke wit)( w)(om?  
CC: It better not be wit)( someone w)(o keeps telling you t)(at you suck!  
CA: its only nep  
CA: an she hasnt said anythin bad about me  
CA: intentionally  
CC: )(MMM?  
CA: wwhat i mean is that she helped me realise howw shit i am but she didnt do it malfishiously  
CC: )(ow is t)(at even possible?  
CA: wwell she challenged me on a lot of my vviewws at the vvery start wwhen wwe teamed up  
CA: an i knoww you do that too but it seemed different comin from her I dont knoww  
CA: like her wwords actually got into my thick skull an noww im kinda freakin out cause all the vviewws an traditions that ivve upheld my entire life are crashin dowwn around me  
CA: but at the same time im cool wwith it  
CA: its wweird  
CC: Rig)(t... 38/  
CA: wwhat  
CC: Not)(ing, carry on.  
CA: ok wwell did you hear about her and eq  
CC: I )(eard t)(ere was some kind of conc)(flict but now it’s alrig)(t.  
CA: yeah wwell they broke up and nep wwas really bummed about it  
CA: an then in the dungeon one of the trials vvris set up wwas completely barbaric in evvery wwhich wway possible  
CA: cause she made a hologram of eq to basically fuck her up  
CC: Wow t)(at is just AWFUL! 38O  
CC: Is t)(at even allowed??  
CA: i guess theres nothin in the rules specifically against it  
CA: but i mean you dont do underhanded shit like that to friends  
CC: OF COURS-E YOU DON’T!!  
CC: Poor Nepeta, I )(ope s)(e’s ok...  
CA: yeah she wwas pretty shaken up but i think shes good noww  
CC: T)(at’s great! 38)  
CA: yeah i guess so  
CC: )(m?  
CA: um  
CC: W)(at is it -Eridan??  
CA: wwhat  
CC: UG)( S-EARIOUSLY  
CC: I can always tell w)(en you )(ave somet)(ing to say so just say it already!  
CA: alright alright fuck  
CA: ok so the wwhole reason im trollin you right noww is cause  
CA: wwell  
CA: shit  
CC: ?  
CA: in the dungeon there wwere holograms an stuff  
CA: an since there wwere twwo of us  
CA: me an nep  
CA: there wwas more than one hologram  
CA: there wwere twwo so wwe could havve one each  
CA: an the other one looked like you  
CC: T)(-ER-E WAS A )(OLO-M-E??!  
CC: Did s)(e reely look itentacle to me?  
CA: yeah it wwas pretty fuckin life like  
CC: Wow t)(at is SO COOL!  
CC: )(-E )(-E I )(ope s)(e didn’t cause you too muc)( trouble!  
CA: fef she wwas designed to cause me trouble  
CA: its not like she wwas suddenly gonna make a holopicnic for us all to munch dowwn an chill on  
CA: no it wwas brutal  
CC: O)(...  
CC: Well, w)(at )(appened? 38(  
CA: she yelled at me basically  
CA: she told me howw stupid i am and that my entire existence is pointless  
CA: she said that evveryone hates me an she did too an i cant be lovved by anyone  
CA: especially not her  
CC: 38O  
CC: -Eridan...!  
CC: I’m so saury  
CC: T)(at must )(ave been just )(ORRID!  
CC: )(ow are you feeling? You know I’d N-EV-ER say t)(ose t)(ings aboat you!  
CA: yeah i knoww youd nevver say them  
CA: but that doesnt mean you havvent thought about them or that theyre not true  
CC: Don’t be ridiculous!  
CC: You’re a GR--EAT GUY -Eridan!!  
CC: I mean s)(ore, you )(ave your problems. But w)(o doesn’t?  
CA: my problems are a bit more dangerous than the avverage trolls  
CA: and evven though i said i wwas gonna wwork on them more from noww on  
CA: its not fair to drag you dowwn wwith me  
CC: You’re not dragging me down anyw)(ere. Just let me )(elp!  
CC: T)(AT IS W)(AT A MORAY--E--EL IS SUPPOS-ED TO DO!  
CA: yeah but wwe arent vvery good moirails are wwe  
CA: or morayeels  
CA: wwhatevver can you just givve the fish puns a rest for once  
CC: You used to love my fis)( puns. 38(  
CC: Now you never use t)(em and )(ave turned into a BORING GLUBB-ER!  
CC: W)(at is WRONG wit)( you lately?  
CC: It can’t just be t)(is )(ologram t)(ing, you’ve been grouc)(y for weeks!  
CA: look im sorry but ivve just  
CA: i can see noww that wwhat wwe havve is  
CA: er  
CC: IS W)(AT -ERIDAN??  
CC: You never give me a straig)(t answer on ANYFIN.  
CC: Do you not like me suddenly??  
CA: wwhat no of course i like you  
CC: T)(en why do you always make my job so difficult?!  
CA: i dont mean to fef i  
CC: I’m so tired of it!  
CC: If you )(ave somet)(ing to say t)(en SPIT IT OUT ALR--EADY!  
CA: ITS JUST NOT WWORKIN  
CC: 38o  
CC: W)(at isn’t...  
CA: Our moirailgeance  
CA: i mean for fucks sake  
CA: in case you havvent noticed its the most dysfunctional thing in the knowwn troll univverse  
CC: W)(Y WOULD YOU SAY SUC)( A T)(ING?!  
CC: If you stopped acting like a wiggler for one second t)(en we could TALK AND MAKO T)(INGS WORK B-ETT-ER.  
CA: it doesnt matter howw much wwe talk about our fuckin feelins and problems  
CA: wwe just dont suit each other  
CA: wwe nevver havve  
CC: If t)(at’s true t)(en )(ow come we’ve stayed toget)(er all t)(ese sweeps?  
CC: It really sounds like you’re making up excuses to leave me...  
CA: im not making shit up  
CA: im being honest for once in my life is all  
CC: 38(  
CC: W)(at did I do wrong?  
CA: wwhat no  
CA: none of this is your fault  
CA: seriously its all me an im just tryin to givve you your freedom  
CC: I want to )(elp t)(oug)(!  
CC: I don’t want to ABANDON YOU.  
CA: youre not abandonin anyone fef  
CA: its me wwhos cuttin the ties here remember  
CA: but you really havve to let me go  
CA: i mean you cant tell me you actually enjoyed bein my moirail  
CC: W)(ale...  
CC: Maybe it wasn’t t)(e most enjoyable relations)(ip.  
CC: But it was N-EC-ESSARY! You can’t expect me to just let you swim aboat wit)(out anyone to watc)( over you!  
CA: i dont need wwatchin ovver  
CA: i told you im gonna change an im not gonna hurt anybody  
CA: but im hurtin you by keepin you trapped in this quadrant  
CC: I reely don’t t)(ink t)(is is a good idea.  
CC: You may not )(urt ot)(ers but w)(at if you end up )(urting yours)(ellf?  
CA: i can take care of myself  
CA: plus i do havve friends to support me like me an nep are real close noww  
CA: i got kar too an some others  
CA: anywway not bein moirails doesnt mean wwe cant help eachother out noww and again  
CC: I guess.  
CC: Nepeta seems QUIT-E T)(-E FROND.  
CA: wwas that  
CA: sarcasm  
CC: I DON’T KNOW.  
CC: WAS IT???  
CA: er  
CC: Just don’t forget t)(at fronds )(elp and care for eac)(otter, not BULLY T)(-EM.  
CA: wwhoa wwait nep doesnt bully me or nothin  
CA: that stuff she said wwas true an i needed to hear it  
CA: she wwas bein a great friend by talkin to me regardin all the stuff i wwas freakin out about  
CC: And isn’t t)(at a job for your PAL-EMAT-E??  
CC: )(ang on.  
CC: You didn’t...  
CC: You and Nepeta didn’t )(ave a pale moment, did you?  
CA: oh wwoww um  
CA: i guess i didnt really think of it as pale infidelity  
CA: but i suppose maybe  
CA: shit im sorry fef i didnt evven realise  
CC: W)(atever.  
CA: fuck  
CA: this sounds so bad  
CA: this is goin much wworse than i thought it wwas gonna go  
CC: )(ow could you t)(ink t)(is was ever going to go smoot)(ly?  
CC: BR-EAK UPS USUALLY DON’T!  
CA: yeah i guess youre right  
CA: but still  
CC: 38(  
CA: hm  
CC: ...  
CA: so  
CC: ?  
CA: are wwe  
CA: not moirails anymore  
CC: Not if you don’t want to be. I can’t stop you in any case.  
CA: wwell ok  
CA: um  
CA: fuck this is awwkwward  
CC: Saury, do you want me to do somefin about it?  
CA: like wwhat  
cuttlefishculler [CC] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

Eridan sighed as he closed Trollian. He slumped his head into his hands woefully for a few seconds before bonking his head with his fist. How could he have been so stupid? Sure it had to be done, but there had to have been a better way around it. Now he’d just made her upset, as well as unnecessarily angry at Nepeta. Oh that reminded him; he should probably check in with her to see how she was doing, and he could also take the opportunity to whine a little about his situation. Shit wait, no whining or being a douchebag or anything like that from now on. This was going to be difficult. Oh well. 

CaligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]  
CA: hey  
AC: :33 < hi!!!  
CA: haha youre in a good mood  
AC: :33 < of course i am!  
AC: :33 < im back with my meowrail and out of that stupid game!  
AC: :33 < it f33ls great to be able to relax in my hive again  
CA: couldnt you do that before  
AC: :33 < well yeah i guess but you know how it was  
AC: :33 < we only ever logged out to sleep  
AC: :33 < now that im back everything is more exciting than it ever was before!  
CA: it sounds like realitys treatin you wwell then  
AC: :33 < it sure is  
AC: :33 < im just glad that whole ordeal is finally ofur  
CA: yeah same  
CA: so you and eq are fine noww  
AC: :33 < yep  
AC: :33 < better even!  
AC: :33 < spending time apart made us realise how much we love and n33d each other  
AC: :33 < how are things with fefuri?  
CA: ha  
CA: that depends on howw you wwanna see it  
AC: :33 < what do you mean?  
CA: wwell for one wwe broke up  
AC: :33 < oh no!!!  
AC: :33 < eridan im so sorry :((  
CA: its fine  
CA: or at least i think its fine  
CA: i get that it sucks but to be honest i think its for the best  
CA: i thought a lot about wwhat you said in that cage thing  
CA: you knoww about our personalities clashin an all that  
CA: an i decided you wwere right so i had to break things off wwith her before i wwasted anymore of her time  
AC: :33 < oh thats so sad  
AC: :33 < but i understand  
AC: :33 < um  
AC: :33 < it wasnt all my fault that you guys broke up was it? :((  
CA: nah not completely  
CA: it wwas a long time comin  
CA: you just made me realise it is all  
AC: :33 < hm i still f33l bad about it though  
CA: seriously dont  
CA: im glad you said wwhat you did  
CA: but uh  
CA: just as a prewwarnin you may wwanna avvoid fef for a wwhile  
AC: :33 < er that doesnt sound reassuring  
AC: :33 < is she mad at me?  
CA: maybe  
CA: i mean if i had to guess id say yes  
CA: mainly based on the fact that she said you wwerent a real friend  
CA: an that you bullied me  
CA: an she may also think that you tried to steal me as your moirail  
CA: i dont knoww though  
AC: :33 < thats awful!!!  
AC: :33 < you have to tell her that none of thats true!  
AC: :33 < oh no she must be so upset and angry with me  
CA: i dont think shes in a talkativve mood right noww  
CA: if i wwere you id wwait for her to calm dowwn first  
AC: :33 < i guess so  
AC: :33 < but i never meant to cause trouble or make anyone sad  
AC: :33 < i wish id kept my stupid nose out of your business  
CA: no i told you its fine  
CA: im happy that you poked your sensitivve wwhiskers into my mess of a lovve life  
AC: :33 < really  
CA: yeah  
CA: you made me see howw unhealthy my relationships wwere  
CA: an also howw much of a tool i am  
AC: :33 < a tool?  
CA: yeah i mean  
CA: wwhilst flarpin wwith you i heard some comments from the others about me  
CA: an then you also said some stuff an i guess it resonated in me  
CA: you knoww like howw you once said my vviewws on the hemospectrum made me stupid an howw no one evven wwanted me to play in the first place  
CA: but i get wwhy you said all that noww cause its true  
CA: you acted like i wwas some idiot youd been dumped wwith cause thats what i was  
CA: it must havve been torture havving to put up wwith my annoyin shit for so long  
CA: an you dealt wwith it wwith a kind of grace ivve nevver seen before  
AC: :33 < :OO  
AC: :33 < oh my gosh you are right  
AC: :33 < ive b33n a terrible furiend!  
AC: :33 < im so so so sorry  
AC: :33 < there is absolutely no excuse for how ive treated you  
AC: :33 < but ill try to be better in the future  
AC: :33 < that is if you still want to be my furiend :((  
CA: wwait wwhat no  
CA: this isnt goin howw i wwanted it to  
CA: wwhy does no one understand wwhat im tryin to say  
CA: read my vviolet text nep  
CA: IM GLAD YOU BITCHED ME OUT  
AC: :33 < what do you mean?  
AC: :33 < i said some disgusting things to you when you think about it  
AC: :33 < i said your relationships were dysfunctional and basically treated you like a bumbling idiot the entire time  
AC: :33 < and im pretty sure at one point i also said your hair was stupid  
CA: look i get that in hindsight your comments make you look like the enemy  
CA: but the thing is that i needed to hear that shit one wway or another  
CA: cause its all true an if you didnt tell me id probably nevver realise  
CA: but noww i knoww i can attempt to change  
CA: an maybe thatd help me become a better troll and get more friends  
CA: so really all the stuff you said wwas utterly necessary  
CA: excludin wwhat you said about my hair cause fuck that shit my hair is awwesome  
AC: :33 < i think i can kind of s33 what you mean  
AC: :33 < but i still f33l horrible about what i said  
CA: please dont  
CA: can wwe just agree that if there wwas evver anythin to forgivve that it is noww forgivven  
CA: lets just accept it then drop it  
AC: :33 < hmmm ok i suppawse  
AC: :33 < i will definitely make it up to you though!  
AC: :33 < even if you insist that theres nothing to make up for  
CA: ugh fine wwhatevver  
CA: do wwhat you wwanna do  
AC: :33 < h33 h33!  
AC: :33 < im glad were still buddies  
CA: yeah same  
CA: wwhod havve thought a wweek ago that wwe of all trolls wwould become friends  
AC: :33 < i think everyone else is as surprised as us!  
AC: :33 < honestly when you joined the campaign i had my doubts that wed get along  
AC: :33 < but im so pleased that things worked out the way they did!  
CA: i couldnt agree more  
CA: an i dont blame you for havvin doubts about me  
CA: i think i wwas a vvery different troll back then  
AC: :33 < but i started to like you even before you started to change!  
AC: :33 < not that the changes arent a marked impurrovement of course  
AC: :33 < what i mean is that i could always s33 this good side of you even from the very beginning  
CA: wwhat really  
AC: :33 < yeah!  
AC: :33 < i guess thats what made me so bitter with you sometimes  
AC: :33 < it was so furstrating knowing that there was a decent guy in there but he was just buried under tons and tons of hoofbeast poop!  
CA: uh  
CA: right  
AC: :33 < h33 h33 sorry if that s33ms a little rude  
CA: no no its fine i totally get it  
CA: youre right  
CA: i just didnt knoww you had so much faith in me wwhen i wwas bein such an idiot to you half the time  
AC: :33 < yeah but thats what i mean  
AC: :33 < you were only a stupid wiggler about half the time  
AC: :33 < i knew you were a good guy after all :))  
CA: haha wwell thanks  
CA: its actually really good to knoww that there wwas someone wwho wwouldnt givve up on me  
CA: except for fef too maybe  
CA: but i dont knoww its different wwith you  
CA: shit  
CA: i can see wwhy shed think you wwere pale for me  
AC: :33 < :((  
AC: :33 < i guess some of the stuff i did  
AC: :33 < was a little conciliatory  
AC: :33 < but i never meant it to be!  
CA: its ok  
CA: it wwas my responsibility to take charge of the situation anywway  
CA: i mean you didnt havve a moirail at the time so i wwas the one makin a mistake  
CA: if you wwould evven call it a mistake  
CA: wwait that sounds bad  
CA: wwhat i meant is that it nevver felt pale so it didnt feel like a mistake at the time  
AC: :33 < i know exactly what you mean!  
AC: :33 < for anyone listening it would sound like a serious talk betw33n meowrails  
AC: :33 < but it wasnt like that at all  
CA: its wweird as fuck  
CA: it wwas somethin but i cant tell wwhat  
CA: so im just gonna ignore it for noww  
AC: :33 < h33 h33  
AC: :33 < yeah ok!  
AC: :33 < hey wait  
AC: :33 < my trollian says ive b33n added to something  
CA: yeah so does mine  
CA: a memo created by ter  
AC: :33 < its called the spider survivors support group  
CA: that is the dumbest thing ivve evver heard of  
AC: :33 < yeah it does sound a bit silly!  
AC: :33 < but its probably also impurrtant  
CA: yeah i guess wwe should check it out  
CA: but im so gonna call out that retarded name  
AC: :33 < h33 h33 ok whatefur  
AC: :33 < s33 you on the other side!  
CA: bye  
arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]


	11. I Do Believe In Tinkerbulls

gallowsCalibrator [GC] opened memo on board TH3 SP1D3R SURV1VORS SUPPORT GROUP  
GC: W3LCOM3 ON3 4ND 4LL TO TH3 SPID3R SURV1VORS SUPPORT GROUP  
GC: TH1S 1S 4 S4F3 PL4C3 SO F33L FR33 TO SH4R3 4NY OF YOUR CONC3RNS  
caligulasAquarium [CA] responded to memo  
CA: im concerned about this memo in general  
CA: wwhat evven the fuck is this  
GC: 3R1D4N 1 SW34R TH4T SOM3T1M3S YOU 4R3 3V3N BL1ND3R TH4N M3  
GC: 1T DO3S 3X4CTLY WH4T 1T S4YS ON TH3 T1N  
GC: 1TS 4 D1SCUSS1ON B4S3D SUPPORT GROUP FOR 4LL THOS3 4FF3CT3D BY TH3 CONN1V1NG SP1D3RB1TCH TH4T 1S VR1SK4  
CA: ok i guess that kinda makes sense  
CA: but that name though  
CA: like wwhat  
GC: DO YOU H4V3 4 B3TT3R N4M3 TO SUGG3ST????????  
CA: i dont knoww  
CA: howw about the vvris vveterans  
CA: or the traumatized trouper team  
GC: NO TH3Y 4R3 4WFUL  
CA: hey no wwhat  
CA: i used alliterations an evverythin  
GC: TH4T 1 C4N 4PPR3C14T3  
GC: BUT ST1LL  
GC: 1 M4D3 TH3 M3MO SO 1 G3T TO N4M3 1T  
CA: bah  
CA: thats stupid  
GC: >:]  
CA: an you could havve added the wword serket to that string of s wwords by the wway  
CA: an scheme too  
CA: like the serket spider survvivvors support scheme  
GC: >:O  
GC: FUCK YOU  
GC banned CA from responding to memo  
GC unbanned CA from responding to memo  
GC: SORRY TH4T W4SNT V3RY D3MOCR4T1C OF M3  
CA: wwhy does this keep happenin to me  
CA: i swwear this happens evvery time wwe talk  
GC: 4FT3R 3X4M1N1NG TH3 R3CORDS 1 C4N CONF1RM TH4T TH1S H4S H4PP3N3D 3V3RY T1ME W3V3 SPOK3N  
CA: huh  
CA: wwhen evven wwas it that wwe last talked  
CA: it wwas wway back at the start i think  
CA: wwait hold on  
CA: wwerent you meant to be mia for the last feww days  
apocalypseArisen [AA] responded to memo  
AA: 0h shit!  
arsenicCatnip [AC] responded to memo  
AC: :33 < !!!  
AC: :33 < how did we not realise as soon as the memo popped up?!  
AA: i d0nt kn0w!  
AA: it just all seemed s0 natural  
GC: GUYS 1TS F1N3  
GC: 1T W4S PROB4BLY MY F4ULT FOR 4CT1NG SO C4SUALLY TH4T YOU FORGOT 1 H4D 3V3R B33N GON3  
GC: TH3 TRUTH 1S TH4T 1VE H4D 4 LOT OF T1M3 TO R3L4X 4ND B3 C4SU4L SO 1 GOT K1ND OF US3D TO 1T  
CA: hang on howw long havve you been ok for  
GC: 1 DONT KNOW  
GC: S1NC3 1 L3FT TH3 G4M3 4FT3R TH3 F1RST COUPL3 OF D4YS?  
AA: y0u left the game and didnt tell us!  
GC: 1 TR13D!  
GC: 4S SOON 4S 1 FOUND OUT WH4T VR1SK4 H4D DON3 TO YOU 4ND T4VROS 1 4BSCOND3D  
GC: ONC3 OUT 1 4TT3MPT3D TO TROLL YOU GUYS BUT VR1SK4 H4D DON3 SOM3TH1NG TO TH3 G4M3 CONN3CT1ONS 4ND 1 COULDNT R34CH YOU  
AC: :33 < did you speak to sollux?  
AC: :33 < he got past those walls when he and equius rescued us  
twinArmageddons [TA] responded to memo  
TA: yeah 2he 2poke two me but the plan wa2 for vk two thiink ii wa2 workiing for her  
TA: iif 2he had fiigured out ii was co2yiing up two her banii2hed legii2lacerator then there would be hell to pay  
TA: we thought iitd be 2afer iif 2he ju2t 2at tiight and waiited  
AA: 0h 0k g00d p0int  
CA: but sol you could havve told us privvately vvia the glovve tech  
TA: well go2h ii apologii2e for haviing other priioriitiie2  
TA: ii wa2 a liittle preoccupiied wiith 2aviing your a22e2 two thiink about deliiveriing me22age2 on the 2iide  
CA: i wwouldnt call assurance that our friend is alivve a side note  
AC: :33 < oh come on its not like it matters now  
AC: :33 < lets not fight when everything worked out fine in the end  
CA: yeah i guess  
CA: cant blame a guy for bein wworried though  
GC: YOU W3R3 4CTU4LLY WORR13D 4BOUT M3  
GC: HOW 1S TH4T 4 TH1NG  
GC: NO W4Y C4N TH4T B3 4 TH1NG  
CA: course it is wwhat do you take me for  
CA: im not some heartless fuckwwit i do have feelins  
CA: i do care about you guys  
AC: :33 < aww!!!  
GC: HUH  
GC: WH4T DO YOU KNOW  
GC: 1 H4V3 TO S4Y 1 N3V3R THOUGHT 1D H34R YOU S4Y TH4T  
CA: yeah wwell  
CA: shut up  
GC: H3H3H3H3  
CA: so  
CA: is that all you wwanted to say  
GC: WH4T  
CA: like wwas that the point of this memo  
CA: just to say hey im alivve quit freakin out  
CA: as in can wwe go noww  
GC: H3LL NO  
GC: W3 H4V3 1MPORT4NT BUS1N3SS TO D1SCUSS  
CA: ugh  
CA: but i dont wwanna be part of a support group  
AC: :33 < yeah i have to agr33...  
AC: :33 < i have a meowrail for all my supawrt n33ds!  
AC: :33 < but i do appurreciate the sentiment  
GC: NO TH1S 1SNT TH3 K1ND OF SUPPORT GROUP WH3R3 W3 G4TH3R 4ROUND TO H4V3 R3T4RD3D F33L1NGS J4MS  
GC: TH1S 1S 4N ORG4N1S3D R3V3NG3 SUPPORT GROUP  
AA: yes  
CA: fuck yes  
TA: hell fuckiing ye2  
GC: >:D  
AC: :33 < i dont know  
AC: :33 < do you really think revenge is a good idea  
CA: course it is nep  
CA: vviolence is alwways the answwer  
AC: :33 < im purretty sure it isnt always  
AA: its five against 0ne  
AA: six if we can get equius to g0 al0ng with it  
AA: i d0nt see why we sh0uldnt give it a sh0t!  
CA: you mean sevven  
CA: dont forget tavv  
AA: 0h yeah  
AA: where is tavr0s anyway?  
GC: 1 1NV1T3D H1M TO TH3 GROUP SO H3 SHOULD B3 H3R3  
AA: ill check up 0n him  
GC: BUT W3 N33D TO L4Y DOWN B4TTL3 PL4NS!!  
GC: DONT L3T OLD TOR34SNOR3 RU1N OUR FUN  
AA: t0reasn0re?  
AA: terezi what the hell  
GC: 3R R1GHT SORRY  
GC: 1TS JUST 4 SH1TTY H4B1T 1 P1CK3D UP FROM VR1SK4  
GC: SH3S 4NNOY1NG BUT GOD 4R3 H3R N1CKN4M3S C4TCHY  
AA: thats n0 excuse!  
GC: OK Y34H 1 G3T 1T  
GC: 1 S41D SORRY  
GC: GO G3T H1M 1F YOU W4NT  
AA: its imp0rtant we check that hes 0k  
AA: we b0th practically went a week with0ut any f00d  
AA: i w0ke up very weak s0 we sh0uld seri0usly make sure he isnt hurt  
TA: 2orry aa ii diid try two feed you when ii could  
TA: but ii could only make iit over to your hiive once or twiice before vk 2tarted watchiing me through webcam2  
TA: ii triied to triick the cam2 at fiir2t but ii ju2t couldnt get pa2t the fuckiing 2ecuriity 2oftware  
TA: ii am telliing you ii have no iidea how 2he can be makiing and codiing 2tuff ii can’t hack my way through  
TA: iits b2 for FUCK2 2ake  
AA: hey n0 its 0k  
AA: she must be cheating 0r s0mething t0 bypass y0u  
AA: it d0esnt reflect badly 0n y0u at all!  
TA: eh ii gue22  
TA: but iit 2till pii22e2 me off that ii cant fiigure out what 2he2 doiing  
AA: well we can ask her pers0nally when we deliver mighty thunder up0n her!  
TA: eheheh yeah ok  
AA: in the meantime i will g0 check 0n tavr0s  
AC: :33 < i can do it instead if you would like  
AC: :33 < i dont think i want to be a part of these plans anyway  
AA: 0h 0k then  
AA: if y0u are sure y0u w0uldnt mind!  
AC: :33 < yes its fine  
AC: :33 < ill go do it right away  
GC: 1TS SO L4M3 OF YOU TO QU1T ON US L31JON  
GC: BUT F1N3 WH4T3V3R  
AC: :33 < sorry i just want to leave all this flarping business behind me :((  
AC: :33 < i didnt realise it at the time but purrhaps i should have listened to equius and never played in the furst place!  
CA: so you completely regret it  
AC: :33 < well no i mean some of it was fun  
AC: :33 < like the time i spent getting to know all of you better and fighting battles!  
AC: :33 < but a lot of it was kind of emotionally scarring...  
CA: ok thats fair enough  
CA: but thats wwhy wwere gettin revvenge  
AC: :33 < i guess  
AC: :33 < but id just  
AC: :33 < rather not  
CA: alright thats fine  
CA: i think id prefer knowwin you wwere safe an sound anywway  
GC: 1 ST1LL TH1NK 1TS L4M3  
CA: shut up ter  
AC: :33 < ok well ill go drop tavros a message  
AC: :33 < ill talk to you all soon!  
arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased responding to memo

 

 

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]  
AC: :33 < hey tavros  
AC: :33 < everyones wondering why youre not in the memo  
AC: :33 < i was sent to come fetch you!  
AC: :33 < um  
AC: :33 < tavros?  
AC: :33 < you must be there since trollian isnt saying youre idle  
AC: :33 < ...  
AC: :33 < why arent you replying to me?  
AC: :33 < :((  
AT: hEY,  
AC: :33 < oh hi!  
AC: :33 < where were you?  
AT: jUST AT MY HIVE,  
AC: :33 < ok well  
AC: :33 < didnt you get the memo invite?  
AT: yEAH, i DID,  
AC: :33 < then  
AC: :33 < why arent you in the memo?  
AT: i JUST, dON’T FEEL UP TO IT RIGHT NOW, iS ALL,  
AC: :33 < oh  
AC: :33 < is something wrong??  
AT: nO,  
AT: i,  
AT: aCTUALLY YEAH, sOMETHING IS WRONG,  
AT: sOMETHING IS VERY WRONG, hONESTLY,  
AC: :33 < uh oh  
AC: :33 < you sound really upset  
AC: :33 < what happened?  
AC: :33 < if its about flarping then you dont n33d to worry beclaws you never have to do it ever again  
AC: :33 < or get involved in any of that prepawsterous revenge  
AC: :33 < im not  
AT: i COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT FLARPING,  
AT: oR VRISKA,  
AT: oR ANY OF THAT, rEALLY,  
AT: tHERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN MY LIFE THAN STUPID GAMES,  
AC: :33 < um alright  
AC: :33 < so if it isnt about the game  
AC: :33 < then whats wrong?  
AT: iTS TINKERBULL,  
AT: nOBODY,  
AT: nOBODY WAS HERE, tO FEED HIM,  
AC: :33 < what  
AC: :33 < oh no  
AC: :33 < no way  
AC: :33 < he isnt  
AT: hE IS,  
AT: hE’S,  
AT: hE STARVED TO DEATH, nEPETA,  
AC: :33 < oh my god  
AC: :33 < i dont know what to say  
AC: :33 < im so sorry tavros  
AC: :33 < does that mean aradias lusus is dead too?  
AT: i DON’T KNOW, pROBABLY NOT IF SHE’S SO HAPPY IN THE MEMO,  
AT: i GUESS SOLLUX REMEMBERED TO FEED RAM MOM,  
AT: oR MAYBE ARADIA WAS SMART ENOUGH TO LEAVE AN EMERGENCY STORE OF FOOD,  
AT: sHE WAS SMART ENOUGH TO MAKE A BACK UP PLAN WITH SOLLUX, aNYWAY,  
AT: i WISH I HAD THOUGHT OF THAT,  
AT: bUT I DIDN’T,  
AT: i DIDN’T AND NOW TINKERBULL IS DEAD,  
AT: tINKERBULL IS DEAD BECAUSE I WAS USELESS LIKE ALWAYS,  
AC: :33 < dont say that!  
AT: iT’S TRUE,  
AT: cAN YOU THINK OF ONE TIME I WASN’T A COMPLETE IDIOT?  
AT: vRISKA WAS RIGHT, i’M A STUPID EMBARRASSMENT,  
AT: i COULDN’T EVEN CARE FOR MY LUSUS,  
AT: tHE SWEETEST AND EASIEST LUSUS TO CARE FOR,  
AT: i HATE IT, iM SO ANGRY AT MYSELF,  
AT: bECAUSE IT’S ENTIRELY MY FAULT, aND NOTHING YOU SAY CAN CHANGE THAT,  
AC: :33 < it wasnt your fault though!  
AC: :33 < how were you to know youd get trapped in the game?  
AC: :33 < if anything it was vwiskers fault  
AT: sURE, YOU COULD ARGUE THAT,  
AT: bUT I KNEW THE RISKS OF THE GAME, aND ID PLAYED IT BEFORE,  
AT: i SHOULD HAVE TAKEN PRECAUTIONS, bUT I DIDN’T,  
AC: :33 < :((  
AC: :33 < you still shouldnt blame yourself  
AC: :33 < he wouldnt want you to do that  
AT: nEPETA, i DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND,  
AT: i SAID HE STARVED TO DEATH,  
AT: oVER A PERIOD OF LITTLE OVER A WEEK,  
AT: nO FOOD,  
AT: nO WATER,  
AT: nO ONE TO PUT A BAND AID ON HIS WING WHEN HE FLEW INTO SHELVES LIKE HE ALWAYS DID,  
AT: nO ONE TO SNUGGLE UP WITH HIM AT NIGHT IN THE RECUPERACOON,  
AT: hE WAS JUST GETTING HUNGRIER, aND THINNER, aND WEAKER, wITH NO ONE TO HELP HIM,  
AT: aND HE WOULD HAVE SEEN ME AT MY HUSKTOP,  
AT: oH GOD, hE WOULD HAVE SEEN ME UNCONCIOUS THERE IN THE ROOM,  
AT: hE’D HAVE EITHER BEEN SICK WITH WORRY,  
AT oR,  
AT: tHOUGHT I WAS IGNORING HIM, aLL THAT TIME,  
AT: i DON’T KNOW WHICH IS WORSE,  
AT: nOT KNOWING IF I WAS OK OR EVEN STILL ALIVE, oR THINKING HIS BEST FRIEND DIDN’T CARE THAT HE WAS DYING IN FRONT OF HIM,  
AT: hE PROBABLY THOUGHT ALL OF THOSE THINGS, uNTIL HE DIED SLOWLY, aLL ALONE,  
AT: aND IF I HAD JUST,  
AT: mAYBE IF I GOT OUT A DAY EARLIER,  
AT: jUST A SINGLE DAY,  
AT: mAYBE THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN TIME,  
AT: bUT I DIDN’T,  
AT: sO DO YOU SEE NOW?  
AT: dO YOU SEE WHAT KIND OF CRUEL ACT, i AM RESPONSIBLE FOR,  
AC: :33 < tavros...  
AC: :33 < i  
AC: :33 < i dont know what im meant to tell you  
AC: :33 < im just so sorry for your loss  
AC: :33 < please dont be angry at yourself  
AT: hOW AM I NOT MEANT TO BE ANGRY AT MYSELF,  
AT: iT’S MY FAULT,  
AC: :33 < no it isnt!  
AC: :33 < youre not thinking clearly  
AC: :33 < have you eaten since waking up???  
AT: i CAN’T BRING MYSELF TO EAT ANYTHING,  
AT: iT WOULDN’T BE RIGHT, cONSIDERING THE CIRCUMSTANCES,  
AC: :33 < thats the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard!  
AC: :33 < you havent eaten in like a week so go eat right now  
AT: nO, i DON’T WANT TO,  
AC: X(( < rawr!!!  
AC: :33 < stop being stupid!  
AC: :33 < i know youre sad and guilty and confused but this isnt the time fur that!  
AC: :33 < if you dont get your strength up you will make silly mistakes and maybe even die too  
AC: :33 < do you think thats something tinkerbull would have wanted?  
AT: i,  
AT: i GUESS NOT,  
AC: :33 < exactly so go get something to eat immediately please  
AC: :33 < also you dont have a meowrail do you  
AT: uH, nO,  
AC: :33 < ok well who lives closest to you that might be able to visit your hive?  
AT: aRADIA AND SOLLUX MOSTLY, yOU KNOW, sINCE THEY’RE LOWBLOODS TOO,  
AT: bUT I THINK THEYRE BOTH PRETTY BUSY,  
AC: :33 < if n33d be i will come to s33 you then  
AT: yOU, uHH, yOU SAY THAT LIKE TRAVELLING IS AN EASY THING,  
AT: wE’RE MILES APART, yOU KNOW THAT, rIGHT,  
AC: :33 < of course i know that  
AC: :33 < but i want to be certain that youre ok  
AC: :33 < youre one of my best furiends!  
AC: :33 < besides i am used to running around outside so its not even that bad  
AT: wELL, oK, iF YOU ARE SURE,  
AT: tHANKS,  
AC: :33 < its purrfectly fine tavros  
AC: :33 < someone will be with you very soon  
AC: :33 < goodbye until then  
AT: oK, gOODBYE,  
arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]

Nepeta turned off her electronic tablet and breathed a deep breath in. Poor Tavros. She wouldn’t ever be able to bear losing her darling lusus, so she could only imagine how he must be feeling, especially considering the circumstances in which the poor beloved creature had died. If this had happened to her she would probably be sobbing into Equius’s sweaty vest for days on end, but Tavros did not have a moirail and therefore didn’t have a proper shoulder to cry on. Or bicep. Same thing really. 

She glanced over to her familiar shipping wall with temptation. This would be the perfect opportunity to spring one of her favourite ships into action. It was almost as if the stars had aligned to make this the most suitable moment in all of history for her to bring together two of the most compatible trolls she could think of. Then again, her shipping at this upsetting time may seem rude and insensitive. But on the other paw, a filled quadrant would be the perfect thing to distract him. 

She traced her claw around one of the oldest boxes she had drawn on the cave wall. From the corner, Pounce De Leon meowed at her contently as she used one of her mouths to lick the last piece of his dinner from out of her white fluffy fur. She smiled and gave her a scratch on the head as she passed by to grab her gloves off the side. ‘Screw it’, she thought as she slipped on the comfortable yet deadly gloves she was so used to (the pair Sollux had made her were good but simply couldn’t compare to the originals) and peeked out her of cave window. The burning sun was almost down but not quite, so she had probably just enough time to send a few messages before scampering off on the long journey to Tavros’s hive. 

She grinned as she whipped out her tablet once again and began typing the first few words of many that would soon launch one of her best and sturdiest ships into the open ocean. 

*** 

“Hey Tavros, are you in there?” Nepeta called, tapping on the door. She puffed out a few haggardly breaths as she waited for an answer. The run over to Tavros’s neighbourhood had been more strenuous than she had expected, and she had come to the unsurprising conclusion that being an active flarper did not contribute to a troll’s fitness in the real world. Well, not by much anyway. Luckily Nepeta had always been an extremely physically fit troll with tons of stamina to spare, so the journey could have been worse. 

The door shakily opened and Nepeta saw Tavros’s signature toothy grin peer out at her from the shadows of his hive. “Hey, Nepeta,” he greeted with a bit of a wobble in his voice. “Come in." 

As she stepped forwards she quickly exclaimed “oh!” and motioned behind her. “I hope you don’t mind, but I invited someone else too,” she said. Tavros peeked outside a little more and this time saw a large white cat lusus padding its way up to the door with a weak girl clinging onto its back. 

“Tavros!” The girl called with a smile, braving a small wave but keeping a firm grip on the large creature she sat upon. 

“Oh, Aradia,” Tavros said with surprise and opened the door a little wider. “I thought you’d have been busy with Sollux, or your lusus, or something.” 

“I can always make time for you,” she said as Pounce De Leon came to a stop beside Nepeta. Aradia began to carefully slide off the giant cat’s back and Tavros rushed outside to help her. 

“Be careful!” He warned anxiously. “You look really frail. Didn’t Sollux or someone feed you at all?” 

“Sollux could only get to my hive a couple of times, but he fed me the most he could,” she explained as she hopped down. “It was enough, anyhow." 

“Yeah,” Tavros said in reply, his eyes drifting downwards sorrowfully as he was reminded of someone who definitely wasn’t given enough. 

“Tavros,” Aradia sighed sympathetically and rested a hand on his shoulder. “I really am so sorry. I was devastated when I heard the news and came straight here to you." 

He managed a weak smile and invited the girls inside while Pounce chose to remain outside and play in the long grass. Nepeta blew her lusus a little kiss before closing the door behind her. 

They were led up to the boy’s incredibly clean and organised bedroom which contained many fiduspawn toys and memorabilia gathered into neat piles near his desk. There were an absurd amount of Pupa Pan and FLARP posters dotted around the walls, so many that some were overlapping, and in the corner of the room was a very comfortable looking recuperacoon. 

“Your hive is very ni…” 

Aradia stopped mid-sentence at the sight of the boy’s watering eyes, snivelling nose and trembling lips which had crumpled into a distraught frown. 

As his knees buckled and his back shook, Aradia leapt forwards to hold him just as he let out the first painful wails of a grieving troll. 

“Hey, it’s ok,” she shooshed calmly. “Let it all out. Let it all out. It’s ok.” 

Nepeta began to blush as she stood watching the touching embrace. She thought it would be better not to intervene at this point and so took a subtle step backwards. 

“It’s just that,” he cried, words barely audible. “It’s just that, I could have done something, you know. I could have…" 

*SNIFF* 

“I could have not played or, left him some food just in case,” he whimpered into her shoulder. “You were in the same situation as me and, and your lusus was fine, so, there must have been something I could’ve done!” 

He let out another yell which was muffled by his friend’s black t-shirt. 

“I don’t know what you could have done Tavros,” she soothed, brushing her hand through his tufty Mohawk. “I really have no idea. I asked Sollux and he told me that he made a trip down to your hive too and left some food for Tinkerbull, just as he had done for Ram Mom.” 

“What?” Tavros said, looking up at her like a child. “He really did that?” 

“Sure. You have friends, Tavros. Friends don’t leave each other alone in times like these.” She smiled. “I don’t know what else you could have done. So it wasn’t your fault, ok?" 

“But then,” he snivelled and wiped a muddy brown tear from his cheek. “Why didn’t he survive?” 

“I don’t know,” Aradia answered solemnly. “Sollux said he looked fine when he saw him last. But all lusi are different, you know that. Perhaps Tinkerbulls deteriorate quickly or something due to their biology?" 

“No they don’t.” He said forcefully and sat up to look Aradia in the eye. “I know fauna. And I know that they don’t starve that quickly. And Tinkerbull definitely starved to death.” 

“How do you know for sure?” She asked as the boy pouted. “I’m not saying that you’re not the fauna expert here, but isn’t there a chance you could be wrong?” 

“His…His insides were all…gone.” 

“Gone?” 

“Gone.” 

“How is that even possible?” Aradia asked in disbelief. “Innards don’t just disappear!" 

“I know that,” Tavros replied with a slight bitterness to his tone. “But he was really thin, like, ‘I starved to death’ thin. And his midsection was so tiny that when I felt it, I couldn’t feel anything. It was just his ribs and bones. His stomach must have shrunk so much that I couldn’t even find it." 

“I guess that is a sign of decay,” she replied thoughtfully. "Perhaps that was the reason.” 

“Yeah, maybe.” He said sadly. 

Aradia frowned and drew him in for another hug. 

"It was awful,” he whimpered. “Seeing him like that, it was just, horrible. He was my best friend and, to know he, he died like that…” 

“I can only imagine,” she said, papping him lightly on the back. “But we’ll get through this. Your friends are here to help you, don’t forget. I am here to help you." 

*** 

After a couple of hours Tavros had calmed down enough to not burst into tears or whimpering noises every couple of minutes, and so Nepeta suggested that they make their way back otherwise they wouldn’t be in their hives by the time the sun rose. 

“Actually I think I might stay here for tonight,” Aradia said as she took Tavros’s hand supportively. “I think we have a few things we still need to talk about.” 

“Yeah, I’d like that,” he replied with a smile. “I have a spare room upstairs anyway.” 

“Oh. Ok then,” Nepeta said, looking from one troll to the other in a slight daze. She shook her head and beamed at them. “That’s just great! I can send Pounce around tomorrow to pick you up Aradia, if you would like?” 

“Thank you for offering, yeah that’d be perfect,” she replied graciously. “If your lusus doesn’t mind too much.” 

“It’s fine, she loves the exercise,” Nepeta giggled with a shrug. 

She made her way outside and yawned. Spotting her adorable lusus not far away, she called for her to come to her side and then peered up at the hive above her. As expected, Tavros and Aradia were waving happily at her from one of the windows above. She laughed and stood on her tip toes to give an enthusiastic and ferocious wave back up to them before leaping off in the direction she had come from. 

*** 

Nepeta Leijon arrived back at her hive absolutely exhausted, just one or two hours before sunrise. She arched her back and stretched her aching toes as she staggered inside her cave tiredly. She seriously had to give running a break for a while. 

Wandering up to her shipping wall, she dabbed her fingers in some nearby ash and blood to make a pale pink colour before sleepily drawing a diamond around the picture of Tavros Nitram and Aradia Megido. 

"That one should sail pretty well on its own now, Pounce,” she whispered as she snuggled into a ball next to the kitty. “Just you wait, I knew they were pale for each other. They have been for sweeps.” 

Pounce de Leon mewed in reply and nuzzled Nepeta’s cheek. She licked away a shiny black lock of hair that had fallen in front of her face before settling down comfortably, purring peacefully. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What?  
> Oh, no way.  
> No way has this lazy writer seriously updated in JUST. ONE. DAY?  
> Haha, but I have! Cute comments motivated me to churn out another chapter for you lovely people :D  
> Stay adorable ;)


	12. Battle Plans

gallowsCalibrator [GC] opened memo on board TH3 SP1D3R SURV1VORS SUPPORT GROUP  
GC: OUR F1RST R3V3NG3 M33T1NG H4S OFF1C14LLY COMM3NC3D  
GC: 1TS T1M3 TO G3T PL4NNING  
caligulasAquarium [CA] responded to memo  
CA: lets get this showw on the road  
GC: Y3S  
GC: BUT W3 N33D TO B3 SUR3 W3 4R3 4LL COMM1TT3D TO TH1S  
GC: NO FL4K1NG OUT!!  
CA: course  
GC: GOOD  
GC: 4ND 1S 3V3RYON3 3LS3 ON BO4RD  
CA: no pirate pun intended haha  
GC: L3TS NOT 4LLOW TH3 B4NN1NG TO ST4RT PR3M4TUR3LY 3R1D4N  
CA: it wwas just a joke wwoww  
GC: SHUSH  
adiosToreador [AT] responded to memo  
AT: i’LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT,  
AT: tHIS IS FOR TINKERBULL,  
GC: NOTH1NGS B3TT3R TH4N R3V3NG3  
GC: 4LSO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS BY TH3 W4Y  
AT: yEAH, tHANKS,  
apocalypseArisen [AA] responded to memo  
AA: i will als0 be participating  
AA: i mean i was g0ing t0 d0 it anyway but n0w i want t0 d0 it to supp0rt tavr0s  
AT: tHANK YOU, aRADIA,  
AT: <>  
AA: <>  
GC: W41T 4R3 YOU GUYS TOG3TH3R NOW OR WH4T  
AT: uH, kIND OF, i GUESS,  
AA: its early days s0...  
arsenicCatnip [AC] responded to memo  
AC: :33 < eeek its so cute!  
GC: 1 GU3SS 1T 1S PR3TTY 4DOR4BL3  
AA: 0k can we m0ve 0n t0 the plan n0w  
GC: SUR3  
GC: 4S SOON 4S 3V3RYON3 PL3DG3S 4LL3G14NC3  
CA: haha wwhat  
CA: thats so stupid  
GC: 1M SORRY BUT S1NC3 WH3N 1S TRUST STUP1D  
CA: since you started actin like a wweird commander  
GC: 1 JUST W4NT TO B3 SUR3 3V3RYON3 KNOWS WH4T TH3YR3 S1GN1NG UP FOR  
GC: SO C4N 1 PL34S3 H4V3 SOM3 FUCK1NG S3CUR1TY  
CA: fine yeah my life for the horde an all that  
CA: im in  
GC: GR34T  
AA: im als0 willing t0 d0 whatever it takes  
AT: mE TOO,  
twinArmageddons [TA] responded to memo  
TA: ii’ll do anythiing ii can two help aa  
TA: 2o ju2t tell me what two do ii gue22  
GC: 4W3SOM3  
GC: 4ND N3P3T4?  
GC: W3 N33D YOU  
AC: :33 < well...  
CA: she said she didnt wwanna  
CA: stop tryin to force her to do this  
GC: 1M NOT FORC1NG H3R TO DO ANYTH1NG >:[  
CA: yeah you are  
CA: stop pushin this  
GC: SH3 C4N DO WH4T3V3R SH3 W4NTS 1M JUST DOUBL3 CH3CK1NG  
GC: DONT PO1NT F1NG3RS 4T M3 J3RKF4C3  
CA: jerkface  
CA: wwhat the fuck  
GC: WH4T  
CA: its just retarded is all  
GC: NOT 4S R3T4RD3D 4S YOU  
CA: hey no offence but can you stop  
CA: im tryin not to be so shitty an your antics are makin it pretty hard  
GC: YOU 4R3 4LW4YS SH1TTY 3R1D4N  
GC: 1TS L1K3 YOUR TH1NG  
GC: WHY STOP WH4T YOUR3 SO GOOD AT?  
CA: yeah ok like this is wwhat im talkin about  
CA: im tryin to be a better person and youre just temptin the bad outta me  
CA: honestly youre actin exactly like vvris so stop embarrassin yourself  
GC: >:O  
GC: 1 4M NOTH1NG L1K3 VR1SK4  
GC: STOP COMP4R1NG M3 TO TH3 3N3MY  
CA: alright  
CA: as soon as you stop bein a bitch  
GC banned CA from responding to memo  
AC: :33 < enough!!!  
AC unbanned CA from responding to memo  
AC: :33 < youre both behaving like wigglers!  
AC: :33 < we n33d to focus on the real purroblem here  
CA: ok but youre seein this right  
CA: ter has become a total bitch the last feww days  
GC: W3LL 1M SORRY FOR B31NG 4 B1T STR3SS3D 4BOUT TH1S  
GC: 1TS NOT L1K3 ON3 OF MY B3ST FR13NDS W3NT ROGU3 4ND LOCK3D UP TWO OF MY OTH3R FR13NDS  
GC: SH3 WONT 3V3N 4NSW3R MY M3SS4G3S NOW  
GC: SH3 PROB4BLY H4T3S M3 3V3N THOUGH W3 H4V3 B33N FR13NDS FOR FOR3V3R BUT NON3 OF TH4T M4TT3RS NOW 1 GU3SS  
GC: 4LL OF YOU GUYS H4V3 SOM3HOW FORGOTT3N TH4T SH3 US3D TO B3 ON OUR S1D3  
GC: NON3 OF YOU C4R3  
GC: GOD 4M 1 S3R1OUSLY TH3 ONLY ON3 WHO C4R3S?  
AC: :33 < i mean  
AC: :33 < i never knew vwiskers as well as you but  
AC: :33 < i understand why youd be upset  
AA: yeah same  
AA: i guess i tried to f0rget h0w she wasnt always the enemy  
AA: caring hurts y0u kn0w  
GC: Y34H  
AA: but we are all in this t0gether  
AA: we will face her as a team!  
GC: 1TS JUST TH4T 1 N3V3R W4NT3D TO F1GHT H3R 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3  
GC: 4ND 1 KNOW TH1S 1S TH3 ONLY OPT1ON W3 H4V3 L3FT NOW  
GC: BUT 1 F33L L1K3 1 L3T H3R DOWN  
AC: :33 < let her down?  
GC: Y34H 1 M34N SH3S 4LW4YS B33N PR3TTY S3NS1T1V3 4S MUCH 4S SH3 L1K3S TO D3NY 1T  
GC: 4ND 1 S4W TH3 S1GNS  
GC: 1 KN3W SH3 W4S SL1PP1NG BUT 1NST34D OF H3LP1NG H3R 1 R4N  
AC: :33 < purrhaps running was the safest thing  
AC: :33 < i dont even want to think about what could have happened to you if she got angry!  
GC: M4YB3 YOUR3 R1GHT  
GC: BUT 1M ST1LL M3SS3D UP ABOUT 1T  
CA: look ter  
CA: im sorry for yellin at you an stuff it wwasnt cool of me  
CA: i guess i forgot howw close a friend she wwas to you  
GC: 1TS F1N3  
GC: 1M SORRY TOO  
GC: TH1S WHOL3 TH1NG 1S PUTT1NG M3 ON 3DG3 1S 4LL  
CA: you knoww wwe dont havve to do anthin if you dont wwanna  
CA: wwe could forget about revvenge  
AT: nO WAY, i WANT MY REVENGE,  
AT: iT’S NOT FAIR WHAT SHE’S DONE, aND SHE DESERVES TO PAY FOR IT,  
GC: Y34H 4R33D  
GC: SH3S GON3 TOO F4R NOT TO 34RN SOM3 FORM OF PUN1SHM3NT  
GC: 4ND 1F W3 DONT R33L H3R 1N SH3 W1LL PROB4BLY DO WORS3  
CA: ok if youre sure  
GC: 1 4M  
GC: 1TS UP TO US TO STOP H3R NOW OR SH3 W1LL CONT1U3 TO HURT P3OPL3  
GC: 1D R4TH3R F1GHT 4N OLD FR13ND TH4N L3T OTH3R 1NNOC3NT TROLLS D13 B3C4US3 OF H3R  
AC: :33 < youre right  
AC: :33 < vwiskers is out of control  
AC: :33 < i guess its our respawnsibility to step in before things get any worse  
CA: nep no you dont havve to  
AC: :33 < its fine  
AC: :33 < i want to do this  
CA: but you said you didnt  
CA: i dont wwant you to get wwrapped up in stuff if youre only doin it outta guilt  
AC: :33 < isnt that all why we are doing this?  
AC: :33 < shes purrobably already killed tons of flarpers and i dont want that blood on my hands eridan!  
CA: it isnt on your hands its on HERS  
CA: please i just really dont wwant you to get hurt for no good reason  
AC: :33 < this is a great reason for getting hurt  
AC: :33 < i want to help you guys  
AC: :33 < what she did aradia and tavros  
AC: :33 < what she did to us  
AC: :33 < she n33ds to be stopped!  
AC: :33 < if not for the sake of revenge then to help others!  
CA: damn it  
CA: wwhy havve you gotta be so fuckin selfless  
CA: ok i guess i cant stop you but i wwanna be wwith you the wwhole time just in case  
AC: :33 < purrfect!  
GC: OK GR34T SO 4R3 W3 4LL COMPL3T3L3Y W1LL1NG TO DO TH1S  
GC: NO B4CK1NG OUT  
AC: :33 < yes we are all ready :))  
GC: OK SO 1 TH1NK TH3 B3ST TH1NG TO DO WOULD B3 TO CONFRONT H3R 1N TH3 G4M3  
CA: wwhy not in real life  
CA: she wwont be as prepared sittin at her husktop  
GC: H4V3 YOU 3V3R S33N H3R LUSUS 3R1D4N?  
GC: 1TS 4 B34ST  
GC: SP1D3RMOM WOULD STR1K3 US DOWN 4ND 3AT OUR GUTS B3FOR3 W3 3V3N G3T TH3 CH4NC3 TO CL1MB THROUGH TH3 W1NDOW  
CA: point taken  
GC: Y34H SO 4N AMBUSH 1N TH3 G4M3 1S TH3 ONLY TH1NG TH4T 1 TH1NK W1LL WORK  
GC: WH3N 1 L3FT H3R SH3 W4S S3TT1NG UP B4S3 ON 4 P1R4T3 SH1P  
TA: yeah 2he wa2 2tiill on that when ii left two  
GC: OK SO W3 PR3TTY MUCH KNOW H3R LOC4T1ON  
GC: BUT 1T W1LL B3 N34R 1MPOSS1BL3 TO ST34LTH1LY ROW OURS3LV3S 4CROSS 4N OC34N TO H3R SH1P  
GC: SO W3 W1LL N33D 4 D1STR4CT1ON 4ND 1M TH1NK1NG SOLLUX  
TA: cool  
AA: hey wait n0!  
AA: we are n0t using my matesprit as bait!  
GC: H3S NOT B41T H3 W1LL B3 F1N3  
GC: BUT H1S PS11ON1CS 4R3 1D34L FOR 4 B1G LOUD D1V3RS1ON  
GC: PLUS H3D B3 4BL3 TO DO 1T FROM 4 LONG R4NG3D D1ST4NC3 SO H3 C4N RUN 4W4Y TO S4F3TY 1F H3 N33DS TO  
AA: i d0nt kn0w...  
TA: aa ii am totally fiine wiith thii2  
AA: well y0u might be but i d0nt like the idea 0f y0u being in danger!  
TA: you heard tz ii can make a break for iit iif thiing2 get me22y  
TA: all ii need two do ii2 liight 2ome fiirework2 then go  
AA: i guess  
AA: but isnt there any 0ther way  
GC: TH1S 1S TH3 S4F3ST W4Y  
AA: well then  
AA: 0k  
AA: but please be careful!  
TA: ii wiill  
GC: R1GHT  
GC: 4ND TH3N ONC3 VR1SK4 1S D1STR4CT3D BY 4LL TH3 R3D 4ND BLU3 L1GHTS 3V3RYON3 3LS3 C4N M4K3 1T ONTO TH3 BO4T  
GC: 4ND TH3N W3 F1ND H3R  
CA: wwhat do wwe do once wwe find her  
GC: W3 K1CK H3R 4SS  
CA: sounds good  
CA: and at wwhat point do wwe stop the ass kickin  
GC: WH4T DO YOU M34N  
CA: wwell like  
CA: wwere not gonna kill her  
CA: right  
GC: 1T D3P3NDS ON WH4T SH3 DO3S  
GC: 1F SH3 F1GHTS B4CK TOO MUCH TH3N  
GC: M4YB3 W3 W1LL H4V3 TO US3 MOR3 FORC3 TO PROT3CT OURS3LV3S  
GC: BUT HOP3FULLY NOT  
AC: :33 < wait we shouldnt kill anybody!  
GC: 1 DONT W4NT TO BUT 1M JUST S4Y1NG W3 SHOULD B3 PR3P4R3D  
GC: TH3R3S NO T3LL1NG WH4T SH3S C4P4BL3 OF  
AC: :33 < i dont like where this plan is going  
AC: :33 < it sounds like we are planning a murder  
GC: NO TH4TS NOT WH4T W3R3 DO1NG  
GC: YOU W4NT TO STOP H3R R1GHT  
AC: :33 < yeah  
GC: DO YOU R34LLY TH1NK SH3S GO1NG TO PUT DOWN H3R D1C3 N1C3LY 4ND S4Y SH3S SORRY  
GC: B3C4US3 NO SH3 W1LL D3F1N1T3LY NOT DO TH4T  
GC: W3 4R3 GO1NG TO H4V3 TO US3 FORC3 BUT 1TS UP TO H3R HOW MUCH W3 US3  
AC: :33 < i guess youre right  
AC: :33 < its just sad  
CA: nep this wwhole thing is messed up an sad but wwe gotta do wwhat wwe gotta do  
AC: :33 < yeah i know  
GC: YOUR3 ST1CK1NG TO TH3 PL4N THOUGH 4R3NT YOU?  
GC: W3 C4NT 4FFORD TO H4V3 4NY DOUBTS  
AC: :33 < i said i wouldnt back out and i wont  
AC: :33 < but that doesnt mean i have to be happy about all this  
GC: 1 G3T 1T  
GC: BUT TH1S 1S SOM3TH1NG W3 4R3 GO1NG TO DO TOG3TH3R  
GC: W3 W1LL 4LL B3 TH3R3 TO SUPPORT 34CH OTH3R SO DONT WORRY  
AC: :33 < yeah im glad we all have each other  
AC: :33 < i dont know what id do without you guys :))  
CA: thats the corniest thing ivve evver heard  
AC: :33 < oh shush you know its true ;PP  
CA: ok yeah  
CA: its adorable  
CA: but i think ivve already had my cutesy friendship speech so ill leavve you to it  
GC: YOU S41D YOU C4R3D ON3 T1M3  
GC: 1D H4RDLY C4LL TH4T 4 GR4ND SP33CH  
CA: wwhatevver i did my part  
TA: quiick que2tiion but wiill you need me two do any techy 2tuff for thii2 plan  
TA: becau2e iif you do then ii need tiime two 2et up  
GC: 1 DONT TH1NK SO  
GC: BUT 1TLL B3 GOOD TO H4V3 YOU ON H4ND 1N C4S3 SH3 DO3S 4NYTH1NG TO TH3 G4M3 L1K3 B3FOR3  
TA: ok ii’ll 2et up the ba2iic2 a2 a precautiion  
AA: als0 when are we d0ing this  
GC: W3LL 1 GU3SS TH3R3S NOT MUCH TO PR3P4R3 FOR  
GC: 1TS R34LLY JUST 4 M4TT3R OF GO1NG 1N 4ND OV3RPOW3R1NG H3R  
GC: SO HOW 4BOUT F1RST TH1NG TOMORROW  
AC: :33 < but thats so soon!  
GC: 1 F1GUR3D 1TD B3 B3ST TO G3T 1T OV3R W1TH 4S SOON 4S POSS1BL3  
GC: DONT YOU TH1NK?  
AC: :33 < yeah i suppose youre right  
AC: :33 < as purr usual  
CA: its better than sittin around wworryin for ages anywway  
AA: it is very s00n but y0ure pr0bably right  
AA: im ready t0 g0 t0m0rr0w if thats what we decide  
TA: ii 2hould have everythiing up iin time two go by then  
AT: i’M READY FOR THIS, tOMORROW IS FINE,  
GC: GR34T  
GC: S33 YOU TH3N  
GC closed memo

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]  
AC: :33 < equius i n33d to tell you something  
CT: D--> Ok  
AC: :33 < and its something you wont purrticularly like  
AC: :33 < but youre going to have to trust me on it  
CT: D--> I don’t like where this is going Nepeta  
CT: D--> But please continue  
AC: :33 < um well  
AC: :33 < the others and i are going to play flarp again  
CT: D--> That is abso100tely nonsensical  
CT: D--> Why would you ris% your life for a second time  
AC: :33 < i know but we would only be in there for a little while!  
CT: D--> What do you mean  
AC: :33 < i mean  
AC: :33 < we are going back to stop vwiskers  
CT: D--> No  
CT: D--> No I cannot allow this  
CT: D--> I know that I said I would let you make your own decisions from now on and not be so controlling, but I still have a duty as your moirail to prote% you  
AC: :33 < i understand but this is really impurrtant!  
CT: D--> What could be more important than your life  
AC: :33 < the lives of other trolls!  
AC: :33 < if we dont stop her shes going to continue hurting people  
CT: D--> I don’t see how that is any of your concern  
AC: :33 < she used to be my furiend  
AC: :33 < maybe she wasnt a very good one but she still was  
AC: :33 < and that means i had a chance to stop her but didnt so I n33d to try and make things right!  
CT: D--> Can’t you leave this to the e%pertise of the teal b100d  
CT: D--> I thought they were in a moirailgeance together  
AC: :33 < im not sure what they are ://  
AC: :33 < but even if they were terezi wouldnt be able to win on her own  
CT: D--> And how certain are you that you will be su%essful when together  
CT: D--> The b100 b100d Vri%a is not to be underestimated  
CT: D--> You know this  
AC: :33 < yes i do know and i still want to help  
AC: :33 < please i know this is a lot to ask but i n33d you to let me do this!  
CT: D--> It is a lot to as% Nepeta  
CT: D--> It may even be too much to as%  
CT: D--> I already let you go once and I do not intend to let you go again  
AC: :33 < please equius  
AC: :33 < otherwise i wont be able to live with myself!  
AC: :33 < yes it is dangerous but ofurball i think we both know that this is the right thing to do  
AC: :33 < im caught up in this mess and i cant just let the others down!  
CT: D--> I  
CT: D--> Fine  
AC: :33 < really?  
CT: D--> I promised I would no longer r001 over you and so I will not order you to stop  
CT: D--> However I utterly despise this idea  
AC: :33 < im sorry :((  
AC: :33 < but i will stay as safe as pawsible!  
CT: D--> Yes you will  
CT: D--> I command it  
CT: D--> Though you are under no strict obligation to take any notice of my order  
AC: :33 < h33 h33!  
AC: :33 < but i choose to take notice and will s33 you very very very soon equius!  
CT: D--> Yes you will <>  
AC: :33 < <>  
arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT]


	13. Ocular Streams

“I hate water!” Nepeta exclaimed as she and Eridan bobbed up and down in the electronically constructed ocean. “Why do I have to be the one to do this?”

“Keep your voice down, damn it,” Eridan hushed from a few feet in front of her. “You chose the sailor kitten class, what did you expect?”

“I didn’t expect to have to swim across the ocean,” she growled, splashing her paws up and down in the water. “Why aren’t we allowed to take boats? That would be so much easier!”

“Come on you know we have a boat but we can’t all fit, that’s why. Also did you forget we’re trying to use the element surprise? Vris would see a boat rowing towards her ship from miles away,” Eridan answered whilst treading water and waiting for his partner to catch up. “Swimming is much more subtle. Plus I’m a seadweller and you’re a sailor kitten, so we should be the most adept in water. Emphasis on ‘should’…”

“Hey, I’m trying!” she wailed, kicking furiously to speed towards him. “My class may say I’m good in water, but I still hate it!”

“You’ll get used to it,” he said with a shrug before taking her hand in the water and pulling her the last few inches towards him. “We’re nearly there anyway. Only a few more hundred metres, ok?”

Nepeta groaned dramatically but carried on swimming, deeply regretting her class choice. However, as undesirable as this was, she supposed it was necessary; she and Eridan were the most suited to reach Vriska’s battleship first since the others probably didn’t have enough stamina to get all the way there. The plan was that once the two of them reached the ship they would break through one of the lower windows and crawl on board, from there they would take the heavy rope that they were lugging along with them and pull the small rowboat carrying Aradia, Equius, Sollux and Tavros quickly across the sea. However before he made his way to the boat, Sollux would be off the coast using his psiionics to distract Vriska’s attention away from the trolls secretly boarding her ship. Terezi had taken on the responsibility of coordinating the entire operation; after quite a bit of work on Sollux’s part, he managed to hack her back into the game and, since she logged out of the game whilst on the ship in question, she respawned in the same location and was currently hiding out on the upper levels of the ship.

The two trolls finally reached the side of the humungous pirate ship. Nepeta tried not to make a noise as she strained against the current that got stronger and stronger the closer she got to the boat, threatening to drag her along the side before pulling her under. Eridan gripped onto the barnacles that were clamped tightly onto the wood and reached out for her hand, tensely bringing her closer to him with all the strength he could muster in one arm. She gave a sigh of relief and a grateful smile as she secured her position on the side of the boat, grabbing onto the mildly gross but life-saving barnacles. Eridan nodded at her confidently, “do your thing” he said.

Despite feeling slightly nervous, she nodded in return with a determined smile and placed one foot on one of the bigger barnacles and the other on Eridan’s shoulder. Using her upper body strength and a slight boost from her partner, she climbed out of the water and expertly navigated her way up the wall of shells until she reached the nearest circular window. Shifting her weight to her left side, she let go of the side with her right hand and the claws in her glove shot up. She carefully traced the window with one razor sharp claw and then pushed the glass out, leaving a perfectly safe hole for two stowaways to slip through. After gracefully swinging her way through the entrance and landing on her feet, Nepeta turned to watch as Eridan struggled to fit the wide collar of his cape through the window. He grunted and cursed at the “damn window” for being “too fucking small for anything”, but with a few tugs from Nepeta he managed to crawl in, even if his cape did get a little crinkled.

Now both on board, Eridan fed the rope through the hole a bit more until they both had a firm hold and could feel that it had been stretched as long as possible. Peering out of the window, Eridan stuck his arm out and gave the thumbs up towards the beach where a patient Sollux lay in wait, watching them through his binoculars. Within a few seconds, bright red and blue lights erupted from the distant coastline, lighting the sky with an exuberant firework display.

Eridan and Nepeta were so shocked by the ferocity of Sollux’s distraction that it took a few seconds before either of them remembered that they were supposed to be watching the beach. The plan was that once Sollux had done his lights show, he would run just out of sight until he reached the rowboat, at which point the others would give three harsh pulls on the rope to signal that they were all there and ready to be pulled across. It turned out that they had to give six strong pulls on the rope to snap Eridan and Nepeta out of their dazes. Now feeling the pressure as Vriska had surely become aware of at least one of their presences in the game, they quickly yanked on the rope to pull the boat carrying their friends towards them.

“Do you think it worked?” Nepeta whispered as she pulled on the rope with all her might.

“You mean the distraction?” Eridan replied in between puffs of breath. “Yeah probably. It’d be pretty hard to ignore that explosion.”

“Yeah but do you think it worked well enough?” she asked nervously. “If she turns to look in this direction she could see the boat and then…”

“It’ll be fine,” Eridan reassured her, still pulling the rope through the window. “I bet she’s running around on the top deck right now with her stupid little pirate telescope, looking in the complete opposite direction, just like we want her to.”

“Yeah she probably is,” Nepeta answered with a weak smile.

“And hey, this plan was devised by Ter,” he reminded her. “And she knows Vris like the back of her hand. So it’s going to work.”

He was right, of course. Terezi had probably been planning her counter attack since escaping near the start of the campaign, so she had had plenty of time to perfect it. Not only that but she was also on the same team as Vriska, and up until the flarping debacle she had been extremely close to their enemy, so if anyone knew how to execute the perfect plan against Serket, then Pyrope was their girl.

Nepeta had become so lost in thought, and Eridan so lost in the rhythm of feeding the rope into the ship, that it took them by even more surprise than you would expect when the little rowboat approaching them exploded into a blazing ball of psiionic light.

Both froze in horror as they watched one figure in the boat blasting burningly bright lights into the sky, all the while releasing agonisingly loud screams.

“What is he doing?” Eridan hissed, panicking.

The volume of the screams increased, but now it was not just Sollux crying out; Aradia had taken him by the shoulders and was now shaking him back and forth, yelling at him but her words were drowned out amongst the chaos. Tavros seemed to be crying, Equius was simply staring in disbelief. Something was definitely wrong.

“Eridan…” Nepeta said, letting the rope drop from her hands and land with a thud on the wooden floor. She stepped lightly over to him, her eyes still fixed on the scene outside the window, and wrapped her hands nervously around one of his arms. “Do you think…?”

Eridan didn’t reply at first, he simply clenched his jaw and glared at the turmoil unfolding on the ocean surface. Without tearing his eyes away, he gave a sincere nod.

Sapphire and ruby jets poured out of Sollux’s eyes as mustard streams began to dribble down his cheeks. The tension in his face only became tighter, his grey skin turning a sickly yellow as blood rushed to his head and veins began to burst under the pressure.

“Grab the rope,” Eridan growled, picking up the chunk he had let slip to the ground and beginning to pull on it. Nepeta hardly took notice as she continued to stare at the boat with an entranced expression. Eridan dropped the rope yet again and this time grasped the sides of Nepeta’s head. Yanking her eyes away from the window and towards his own, he tore her out of her shocked state and yelled, “Grab the rope and pull them the fuck in!”

Adrenaline rushing and terrified tears building, they both hauled the rope as fast as they could, dragging the boat of horror towards them. The closer the rowboat came, the louder the screams blared. Nepeta just clamped her eyes shut and pulled the rope. Eventually, when the boat was only a couple hundred metres away from the ship, the lights stopped blasting and the loudest screams ceased. Wails were heard, as well as quiet whimpers, but Nepeta still refused to open her eyes.

Finally she heard the gurgling of water as the rowboat rocked just below them. She also heard Eridan dropping the rope and moving closer to the window where distraught cries were calling their way up to them. “Nep,” he said in a serious tone, beckoning her to open her eyes. She didn’t want to, of course. Who would? But he was also right; she couldn’t just crawl away and hide, she had to face whatever had happened to her friends and help the best she could. She took a deep breath in and opened her eyes with trepidation. She saw Eridan in front of her wearing a dark expression, but then he reached out and took her shaking hand. Although his face and stance were grim, his touch somehow remained soft and comforting to her as he guided her forward solemnly.

“Eq, lift everyone up and through the window,” he instructed calmly.

Equius still seemed trapped in the confusion of the situation, but he managed to process the order and first lifted Tavros up for Eridan to pull him through. Tavros stayed frozen in his seated position for quite a while, eyes staring straight ahead into nothingness. Nepeta dared to tap him on the shoulder, she even uttered his name in concern, but he didn’t react.

“NO!” screamed a voice from below.

“Aradia,” Equius argued shakily. “I must insist you allow me to carry you to safety…”

“I’m not leaving him!”

“I will carry him up after you are on board,” he said. “Do not fret.”

“I…I can’t!” she wailed. “I won’t let go. I won’t let go!”

“Aradia please, be reasonable,” Equius countered uneasily. “I know this is difficult but you must not allow your emotions to jeopardise all of our safety.”

“Our safety? What safety?!” she cried back angrily. “Vriska already knows we’re here. She’s proven that by mind controlling Sollux, and now look what she’s done to him! He’s…”

“We don’t know what he is yet,” Eridan commented as Aradia trailed off. “But with you both in here, with all of us together and out of the sea, we can assess the situation. So Ar, can you please just let Eq bring you up here.”

After a few silent seconds, aside from the odd quiet sniffle, Aradia arrived raised up to the window by Equius and was helped through by Eridan.

“Get him in here! Now!” she immediately cried with desperation, spinning around to lean out the window. Equius obediently lifted up the frail and bloody Sollux and attempted to pass him through the window as delicately as possible.

Each time they attempted to move his body through the space, something would get caught and trigger a distraught scream from Aradia. First his head would get knocked, then his shoulders were wedged between the sides, next his arm was caught and twisted the wrong way. With each error and disrespectful movement, Aradia broke down a little more until she had simply collapsed onto floor in mournful defeat.

“Fiddlesticks,” Equius huffed in frustration as he reversed the boy’s body once again. He put the boy back down in the boat. “Enough of this.”

“What are you doing?” Eridan questioned. “We can’t just leave him here!”

“That was not my intention,” he replied sternly, bracing his knuckles before giving a warning. “Stand back.”

Eridan stumbled backwards as Equius slowly raised his arm. Realising what was about to happen, he turned and pushed himself and Nepeta backwards just before a large grey fist pounded through the wooden plank wall of the ship.

As wooden splinters fell on top of them and the dust settled, Eridan carefully opened his eyes to see Nepeta below him. She was stunned, that was for sure, but she seemed unhurt.

“Eridan…”

“Are you ok?” he asked, just to make sure.

“Yeah, but…” she replied hesitantly, still in shock. “I mean, are you ok?”

“Yeah,” he replied, gradually sitting up and rolling his shoulders. “I think my back took the brunt of it.”

“Thanks,” she whispered, glancing downwards as her cheeks subtly changed shade.

“Nepeta, are you alright?” Equius stood before them now in the deconstructed ship, Sollux laying carefully in his arms. “I apologise. I did not mean for my actions to get so…out of hand.”

“I’m fine,” she confirmed and expressed a thankful smile to Eridan, who was brushing the smaller chunks of wood off of his back.

“Sollux!” Aradia leapt off of the floor and made her way to Equius, who lowered the girl’s matesprit delicately onto the ground.

The others all backed away, mostly out of respect but partly out of the awkwardness of having to remain in the first place, as Aradia fell to her knees by the side of Sollux and rested her ear against his chest.

The room delved into silence.

She sat up again, eyes frantic and alarmed as she reached for his neck and began prodding two fingers around the sides in desperation.

“No.”

Hand shaking, she left his neck and grabbed his arm. She pressed her fingers into his wrist, and when she felt nothing she pressed even harder and again and again.

“No, no, no, no…”

With both hands she took ahold of his face and stared deeply down at him, her hair falling down around the two of them, burgundy tears following.

“Sollux…?” she whimpered quietly, her thumbs stroking away some of the yellow blood still staining his face. “Sollux…are you there? Please tell me you’re ok…please show me you’re still here…please…”

Her hands gripped his face tighter as her body became rigid and began to shake.

“PLEASE!” she howled, falling down and burying her face in his chest. “Please get up! I…I don’t want to do this without you. Come back, please come back I need you! I need you Sollux, just…!”

Her hands lowered from his face until she was clutching at the sleeves on his tshirt. “Why won’t you get up?” she sobbed, her cries muffled in his shirt. “Get up…”

She lay there for as long as they could allow her to in peace as she wailed unanswerable questions into her dead matesprit’s chest. Finally, Eridan stepped forwards and quietly said, “Ar. We can’t stay here.”

“No!” she screamed, shooting upwards and glaring at him. “I’m not leaving! I’m staying here with him!”

“But staying here for too long is putting us all in danger,” he reminded her carefully.

“I don’t care!” She wailed, eyes gathering tears again. “I want to be with him. I want to be with him right now. I want to be with my matesprit…”

Her mouth fell open yet again and painful sounds escaped as she fell into Sollux’s chest again. Her body shook with each mournful bleat, and the cries were enough to force the others backwards even more.

Then Tavros shuffled over on the floor and put a hand on her shoulder. At first she jumped at the touch, but upon seeing her moirail’s face she turned and collapsed into his arms.

“Ok, yeah,” he soothed as she sobbed into his shoulder. “Let it all out, right? That’s, uh, what you have to do. Cry all you want to, I’m right here. Shhh…”

“I..I can’t believe he’s…actually…” Aradia stammered as she clung tightly to her friend, tears flowing like waterfalls. “And he…he wouldn’t even BE here if I…if I didn’t ask him to…”

“Don’t blame this on yourself, Aradia,” Tavros said sternly, nestling his head into her thick bed of hair. “That’s the one thing I won’t let you do, no matter what. Because we both know that even if you didn’t ask him to help, he would’ve forced you to let him. Because he loved you.”

“I know…” she whimpered in reply. “But still…if I’d taken his advice and never played with Vriska in the first place…”

“Well, that’s something we can’t change,” Tavros sighed, stroking her hair calmly. “But I know he wouldn’t want you in pain, or sad, or anything like this. He wouldn’t want you to be angry at yourself either. So, in a way, blaming yourself like this, I don’t think it’s really respecting his memory and what he would have wanted for you, you know?”

Aradia sniffed and rubbed her eyes into Tavros’ shoulder. “Yeah…I know, you’re right,” she snivelled. “But I…I can’t just not be sad.”

“Of course not,” he replied and guided her up to look her in the eye. “But you have to let yourself grieve healthily. You can be sad, and messed up, that’s fine. But promise me you won’t let this eat you up inside, ok Aradia?”

“Ok,” she said, a wobble in her voice but forcing a painful smile. The wobble followed to her lips until the tears welled up yet again and, as Tavros drew her in for another hug, she let out more quiet cries and wails.

Tavros shushed her some more before looking up at the other three trolls still present in the room. “I think you guys should probably go on, I mean, without us,” he said. “We’ll stay here for a bit longer, I think. Then we’ll log out.”

“You know that could be dangerous,” Eridan warned with a degree of sympathy. “While you’re in-game you’re susceptible to a load of crazy shit, and this is Vris’ ship so it’s even more dangerous.”

“We know,” Tavros replied with lull-like tones. “If I think things are getting too loud, and rowdy, on the upper decks, then I’ll log us out. I just think we need a few minutes alone first.”

Eridan looked over at the two, and then at Sollux’s body slumped on the floor in a growing pool of yellow liquid. “Ok,” he agreed. “You do what’s right for your moirail. Just be careful, Tav.”

Tavros nodded in appreciation before turning back to Aradia and continuing with the shush papping.

Eridan turned to face the other set of moirails slightly behind him and said, “you heard him, we need to give these guys some space.”

Equius nodded and adjusted his broken sunglasses. Before leaving through the cabin door, he looked to the scene one more time and added, “I am very sorry for your loss.”

Nepeta had been silently letting her own tears flow whilst watching the sad event take place. And so, with a sad but understanding smile, Eridan led her off towards the door.

They joined Equius outside in the short but narrow corridor, acutely aware that Vriska had just taken out practically half of their attack force in one devastating swoop. They were all feeling incredibly vulnerable themselves, and even more so for each other. The recent death had left behind bubbling feelings of loss, guilt and anger. All of which ultimately combined to fuel them on their mission for revenge.

They closed the cabin door behind them and set off along the corridor in hopes of finding the dreaded Captain's Quarters. Tonight was the night they would finally end this thing.


	14. Doorway to the Reckoning

gallowsCalibrator [GC] opened memo on board TH3 SP1D3R SURV1VORS SUPPORT GROUP   
GC: 4R3 YOU GUYS ON TH3 SH1P Y3T?   
GC: 1 H34RD SCR34M1NG   
GC: 1 DONT KNOW WH3R3 VR1SK4 1S R1GHT NOW SO YOU SHOULD PROB4BLY HURRY UP   
GC: L1K3 S3R1OUSLY   
GC: GUYS??   
caligulasAquarium [CA] responded to memo   
CA: bad newws ter   
CA: sol is dowwn and ar an tavv are outta action   
GC: WH4T DO YOU M34N SOLLUX 1S DOWN   
GC: WH4T TH3 H3LL H4PP3N3D??   
CA: vvris must havve seen the boat so the distraction didnt wwork   
CA: she mindcontrolled sol to bloww his fuckin eyes apart it wwas awwful   
GC: OH MY GOD   
GC: 1S H3 D34D?   
CA: yeah   
GC: FUCK   
GC: WH4T 4BOUT TH3 OTH3RS   
CA: ar is devvastated obvviously so shes not movvin or leavvin his body for shit   
CA: tavvs stayin to look after her   
CA: so basically its just me nep an eq noww   
GC: SH3 TOOK OUT THR33 TROLLS 1N ON3 MOV3   
GC: SH3S TH3 3N3MY BUT YOU HAV3 TO ADM1T 1TS PR3TTY 1MPR3SS1V3   
CA: screww that she murdered one of our friends theres nothin impressivve about that   
GC: Y34H BUT 1 M34N FROM 4 T4CT1C4L V13WPO1NT   
GC: OF COURS3 1M P1SS3D 4BOUT WH4T SH3 D1D >:[   
CA: ok wwell wwhat should wwe do   
GC: UM C4RRY ON W1TH TH3 M1SS1ON OF COURS3!!   
GC: W3 4R3 DO1NG TH1S FOR R3V3NG3 ANYW4Y   
CA: yeah i guess   
CA: but i wwas just wwonderin if it wwas gettin a bit too dangerous   
GC: DONT T3LL M3 YOUR3 SC44444444R3D >:]   
CA: wwhat no   
CA: ok wwell maybe i dont knoww   
GC: W34K!!   
GC: W3 C4NT 4FFORD TO H4V3 4NY W34KL1NGS ON TH1S M1SS1ON   
GC: 1T COULD J3OP4RDIS3 TH3 WHOL3 SH4B4NG!   
CA: i mean im scared for the others for fucks sake   
CA: wwe havve already suffered one casualty an i dont wwant nep or anyone else gettin hurt   
GC: W3 H4V3 COM3 TOO F4R TO GO B4CK NOW   
GC: TH3YR3 NOT W1GGL3RS 3R1D4N 1M SUR3 TH3Y C4N H4NDL3 TH3MS3LV3S   
CA: yeah wwell i thought sol wwas more than capable of handlin himself and look wwhat happened to him   
CA: im not sayin im gonna quit on you but i just wwanna make sure you understand wwhat wwe are riskin   
GC: OF COURS3 1 UND3RST4ND 4ND 1TS D3F1N1T3LY WORTH 1T   
CA: you sure   
GC: Y3S 1 4M SUR3!!   
GC: 1M TH3 L34D3R H3R3 SO STOP QU3ST1ON1NG MY 4UTHOR1TY   
CA: ter can you stop wwith the lame flarpin business for one damned second this is serious   
CA: someone has actually died and youre actin like its a fuckin game   
GC: HOW 4BOUT YOU STOP W1TH TH3 L4M3 4CCUS4T1ONS TH4T 1 DONT C4R3??   
GC: 1N C4S3 YOUV3 FORGOTT3N TH1S R34LLY 1S 4 FUCK1NG G4M3   
GC: 4ND PL4Y1NG 1T L1K3 4 G4M3 1S TH3 ONLY W4Y W3 4R3 GO1NG TO W1N   
GC: 1 M34N 1 H4V3 KNOWN VR1SK4 FOR 4 LONG T1M3 4ND 1 KNOW TH4T SHE 1S PL4Y1NG TH1S TH3 W4Y YOU 4R3 SUPPOS3D TO   
GC: R1GHT NOW SH3 1S M1NDF4NG 4ND SH3 SUR3 4S H3LL C4NT B3 B34T3N BY 4 COUPL3 OF NORM4L TROLLS 4RM3D W1TH 4 F3W LOW L3V3L W34PONS   
GC: T3R3Z1 1S NO M4TCH FOR H3R BUT R3DGL4R3 M1GHT JUST B3 3NOUGH   
GC: SO TR34T1NG TH1S 4S 4 G4M3 1S TH3 SM4RT3ST 4ND S4F3ST TH1NG TO DO   
GC: UNL3SS YOU W4NT TO G1V3 UP 4ND GO HOME TH4T 1S   
GC: BUT 1 TH1NK VR1SK4 S3RK3T N33DS TO G3T WH4TS COM1NG TO H3R   
GC: 4ND TH4TS US >:]   
CA: huh   
CA: ok kudos for managin to vvalidate your wweird thought process in that evven wweirder pep talk   
CA: wwe wwill keep goin then and meet you in the upper decks as planned   
GC: GOOD D3C1S1ON   
CA: yeah i hope so   
CA: see you soon redglare   
CA closed memo

 

“Did you tell her about Sollux?” Nepeta asked cautiously as she watched her partner put away his communicative tablet.

“Yeah,” he replied, biting his lip slightly. “Yeah I did.”

“What was her response?” Equius prompted. “Did she suggest that we retreat?”

“The opposite, actually,” Eridan shrugged. “We keep moving, find Vris and get our revenge.”

“That is preposterous,” Equius scoffed, his muscles tensing somewhat nervously. “It is far too dangerous to proceed any further. I demand that we turn back immediately.”

“Ter ordered us to keep going, if you want to take it out with her that’s fine by me,” he replied, holding his tablet out to Equius. “But she seems dead fucking set on finishing this thing. If we leave, I’m pretty sure she’ll carry on without us. And I seriously doubt Ter can take out Vris by herself, no matter how skilled she is.”

“We…” Equius stared at the tablet held out in front of him, then to Nepeta, and then back to the tablet once again. His eyes narrowed uncertainly and a drop of sweat began to form on his forehead. He took a breath in and turned sharply to his moirail. “Nepeta,” he addressed firmly, “what do you suggest we do?”

“Me? Uh, I…” she stammered as the responsibility was dropped onto her like a heavy set of weights. She attempted to balance the arguments on either side; on one hand leaving now would insure the safety of five trolls including herself. They would log out, mourn the death of the single casualty and then never play the game again. However, doing so would almost certainly result in the death of Terezi Pyrope. “I think…we should help Terezi fight. We can’t just leave her.”

Equius was evidently distressed by the decision, but he pursed his lips and nodded courtly. Eridan retracted his tablet and put it away, finalising the group decision.

“Let’s go then.”

 

***

 

The creaking wooden corridors were rather narrow as they walked through the maze which was the lower decks. It was possible to fit two trolls side by side, or one single Equius, so Eridan and Nepeta walked carefully just in front of the hulking troll behind them.

“Nepeta,” he grumbled from a foot or so behind them. “May I suggest you walk behind me? If there is anything unsafe ahead I would like to be sure that you are unaffected.”

“Don’t be silly, Equius,” Nepeta chimed. “I’m fine, Eridan is right next to me. Anyway, I’m not letting you act as my shield and get hurt.”

“I would not be opposed to acting as a troll shield for you,” Equius argued. “You are my moirail, it is my duty to protect you.”

“And you are my moirail,” she countered. “And it’s my duty to make sure you don’t get hurt either!”

“I suppose that is correct…” he murmured uncomfortably. “However I am much STRONGER and can surely withstand more physical attacks if we were to encounter them.”

“I’m not moving,” Nepeta huffed, but a smile was creeping across her face at the same time. Equius sighed.

“Don’t worry, Eq. I’m here to protect her too.” Eridan reminded him as they continued walking. He tapped his Ahab’s-crosshairs that hung on his shoulder and said, “Nothing’s going to touch her.”

“I appreciate the extra surveillance,” Equius grumbled. “But I think I am best suited to care for my moirail’s safety.”

“Oh sure,” Eridan shrugged. “I’m just saying you’re not the only one who can protect her, that’s all.”

“I never explicitly said that,” the blue-blood clarified disgruntledly. “I simply came to the fair conclusion that I would be the most appropriate troll to aid Miss Leijon.”

“It kind of sounded like you were saying that you were the only one,” Eridan replied, turning around slightly with narrowed eyes.

“I can hardly be held responsible for your misunderstandings, seadweller,” Equius hissed.

“Maybe it was your miscommunication?” Eridan growled. “Landdweller.”

“What is wrong with you two?” Nepeta interrupted, cutting the tension. “You’re acting like a couple of wigglers!”

“Well he started it!” Eridan cried.

“That is a ridiculous false accusation!”

“I don’t care, can you just please stop? It’s not very nice,” she lectured. Then added, “I thought we talked about all this silly blood stuff and stupid feuds…”

Both boys looked sheepish.

“Yeah, alright Nep,” Eridan sighed, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “You’re right, I said I’d try to be a better troll and I’m not about to go back on my word. I’m…sorry, Eq.”

The apology was forced out of his throat after being met with some initial resistance, but Equius seemed to respect the olive branch handed to him in that moment. He removed his broken shades to make solid eye contact with Eridan. His golden eyes, a rare sight for any troll to see, settled upon the eyes of the boy in front of him. At first he was a little intimidated by this gesture, but as Eridan became more adjusted to the situation, Equius’ lips began to curl at the sides.

“I accept your apology, and offer my own in response,” he stated calmly. “It was foolish of me to use such callous tactics against you. It is obvious to me that Nepeta is very loved by many trolls, and it is my own fault for feeling threatened by that fact. I am sorry for taking out my frustration on you, Ampora.”

“Oh, well I mean, it’s fine, I get it,” Eridan answered, pretending not to be shocked by Equius Zahhak apologising to a troll formerly known to him as ‘a filthy seadweller’.

“Nepeta has spoken to me about my controversial outbursts, and I am trying to limit them as much as possible,” Equius explained. “However it is not an easy habit to drop. So you must forgive me for any errors I may make.”

“Of course,” Eridan nodded, a smile beginning to form on his lips. “Nep talked to me too. Not in an I’m-gonna-steal-your-moirail way though! Just little comments here and there that made me think. And I just wanted to let you know that I know what you mean. I don’t want to let her down either.”

Equius beamed, displaying his cracked and broken teeth. “Wonderful,” he said. “I’m glad that we understand each other.”

As Eridan nodded, Nepeta giggled and tugged on both of their hands. “Come on, we’re wasting time!” she laughed and pulled them further down the corridor.

 

***

 

They hadn’t been wandering for long when they really thought about it. Perhaps fifteen minutes? Still, it was a long time to be lost in the maze-like lower decks of Vriska’s ship. You would think that surely they would have found the stairs to the next level by now, but apparently not. Eridan furiously consulted the rather shitty map that Terezi had drawn for them in crayon, but just crumpled the paper angrily at the sides.

“It’s useless!” he cried. “I’ve no idea where the fuck we are.”

“Shoosh!” Nepeta whispered. “Keep your voice down or she might hear you!”

Eridan groaned loudly, but not quite as loudly as he had been yelling a second before. “I’m just so tired of this.”

“I concur,” Equius mumbled. “In fact, may I make a suggestion?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“You two have both been in front navigating for a while now,” he went on. “I was wondering if I may take a turn to attempt this feat?”

Nepeta and Eridan looked at each other, shrugged, and agreed that there wasn’t any harm in it. So they backed up and slithered under Equius’ humungous arms to reappear behind him.

 

***

 

After just four minutes of walking, Equius pointed out the stairway ahead of them.

“How did you…” Eridan began, shocked. He grabbed the map out of Equius’ hands and waved it around crying, “but this is impossible to read!”

“It is poorly set out, I agree,” he replied. “However the symbols and markings are exquisite. Miss Pyrope is a real artist of the red crayon, it made it very easy to follow.”

“This is bullshit,” came a low grumble.

Nepeta giggled and said, “come on then!”

She rushed forwards only to be pulled back by Equius who was holding onto her neckerchief.

“Wait, we must proceed with caution,” he said sternly. “We do not know what lies ahead and it is imperative that we remain vigilant.”

Nepeta thought for a moment and then nodded vigorously. “You’re right,” she said firmly. “Sorry, I was getting a little ahead of myself…let’s move slowly.”

She crouched to her knees and began to silently prowl on the ground behind him. Equius cracked his knuckles and turned to face the stairway, Eridan kept his finger near the trigger of his gun.

As they walked towards the steps there was a heavy uneasiness in the air. The boards creaked a little louder when they walked, wood was chipped away on the walls and floor, a slight draft whirled into the corridor. Something wasn’t right.

*click*

Equius looked down to where his foot had trodden. A button. Of course…

All within a single second, Equius turned to his friends behind him and shoved them violently away. They screamed and groaned as the impact pounded them backwards and their ribs began to ache painfully. As they both winced their eyes open, a large crash was heard. Their eyes snapped open to see Equius on the floor with a twenty ton metal block pinning him down, crushing his body.

Nepeta screamed and rushed to him.

“Equius!” she yelled, tears already streaming. “Are you alright? Answer me! Equius!”

A weak mumble.

“Equius!”

Or had they imagined it? His body was limp, indigo blood dribbled out from a wound hidden under him. His biceps were bruised and split.

“Eq…oh fuck,” Eridan whispered, settling down beside Nepeta. “Nep, I’m so sorry.”

A horrific cry erupted from Nepeta as a pool of olive tears began to gather on her clothes. Eridan put his arm around her in an attempt of comfort, but he had a feeling she hardly noticed him there. She was somewhere else right now.

“Nepeta…”

Both trolls sprang up. No way could that have been their imagination. Eridan crouched down further and felt for a pulse in his neck. His eyes widened as he turned to Nepeta. With a smile, he nodded.

Nepeta gasped and reached for her moirail, sweeping away his black hair and cradling his head. “Equius it’s ok!” she said to comfort him, while stroking his head erratically. “I’m here, everything’s fine. What hurts?”

“Everything…”

“C-can you move?” she asked, lip wobbling.

“…Yes,” he confirmed after a few moments of strained shifting underneath the weight. “I believe I am…generally unhurt…my muscles seem to have taken most of the impact…”

They both sighed in relief.

“We should leave right now, it’s not safe,” Eridan demanded. “Eq, log out and we’ll get you checked over. I don’t care if Ter ends up doing something stupid, there have been way too many injuries.”

“No,” Equius uttered quietly in pain, but with assurance. “Go on.”

“Are you insane?” Nepeta cried. “You’re hurt! We’re not going to leave you, we need to log out and get help!”

“I will log out and do just that,” he muttered. “But you need to continue. For Miss Pyrope, for Mister Captor, for everyone who wishes retribution for Vriska Serket’s acts. What she put you through…was unforgivable.”

“You want me to do this?” she asked in surprise. “I thought you didn’t care about the others really? And aren’t you going to tell me it’s too dangerous or something?”

“I have learnt many things these last few weeks, Nepeta, and comradery is one of them.” He answered with a weak smile. “I have also learnt that you are a strong, independent young troll who can take care of herself. Even though I would prefer to protect you for the rest of our lives…I understand that this idea may not be reciprocated. So I must allow you to do as you wish…”

“I wish for you to be ok,” she said softly, tears still falling as she planted a light kiss on his forehead. “You log out now. I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”

Equius nodded, though it looked as though the action was quite painful. He swiped his index finger downwards and then appeared the holo-menu where he could access the ‘log out’ button.

Before leaving, he glanced up at Eridan Ampora and said, “I trust you to protect her if necessary.”

Eridan placed his hand over his collapsing and expanding bladder based aquatic vascular system and vowed, “with my life.”

And then with one simple movement from a miraculously un-crushed finger, Equius disappeared from the game.

 

***

 

caligulasAquarium [CA] opened memo on board TH3 SP1D3R SURV1VORS SUPPORT GROUP   
CA: eq is dowwn   
CA: not dead but he got crushed by a massivve fuckin chunk of metal so hes logged out   
CA: its just me an nep noww so wwhere the hell are you   
gallowsCalibrator [GC] responded to memo   
GC: 3R1D4N TH4NK GOD   
GC: H3LP M3 1M 1N R34LLY B1G TROUBL3!!   
CA: wwhats happened   
GC: 1TS VR1SK4   
GC: SH3 FOUND M3 SKULK1NG 4ROUND 4ND NOW SH3S HOLD1NG M3 UP 1N H3R HQ   
GC: SH3 S4YS TH4T 1F 1 TRY TO LOG OUT SH3S GO1NG TO ST4B M3 THROUGH TH3 CH3ST W1TH MY OWN C4N3 >:O   
CA: oh shit   
CA: ok wwere comin wwhat does her hq look like   
GC: 1TS 4 B1G WOOD3N DOOR W1TH H3R S1GN ON 1T   
CA: wwait   
CA: i think i actually see it hold on   
CA: yeah this must be it ok wwe are comin in   
GC: HURRY!!   
CA closed memo

 

“So this is really it?” Nepeta asked again, staring up at the large door with the golden Serket sign attached to it.

“It must be,” he replied. “Unless you want to knock and ask?”

“No way!” she stuck out her tongue and frowned. “But it’s just strange how it happened to be right in front of us, is all. Kind of convenient.”

“I’d call it lucky, yeah,” Eridan agreed, though slightly missing her insinuations. “Ter’s in there, so I say we go in guns blazing.”

“And claws blazing,” Nepeta grinned, raising her razor sharp blades from out of her gloves.

Eridan chuckled a little, then turned deadly serious. He glanced at his partner before reaching for the door handle. It was time for the final boss.


	15. An Unravelling Web

Eridan’s grey palm rested on the round, golden doorknob. For a second he reconsidered; what if he just let go? What if he just traded this cold metal handle for the warmth of Nepeta’s hands and logged out with her? His fingers loosened as he glanced at the girl beside him; her back was arched forwards and ready to pounce, the blades tearing through the material of her gloves poised to attack, her determined glare pinned towards the wooden door only a few inches from her nose. He swallowed and tightened his grip again. She was right, of course.

“Three…” he whispered so quietly the word was hardly formed. “Two…”

“One!” The handle twisted violently, the door was burst open suddenly as the two of them exploded into the room, screaming and leaping and waving their weapons and darting their eyes about for any sign of movement.

The adrenaline rushing through their coloured veins made sure that all details of the room were blurred, but one thing was certain: Vriska was nowhere to be seen.

And then Nepeta jumped across the room.

No…

Nepeta was thrown across the room.

“Nep!” Eridan cried, reaching out as his partner suddenly took flight through pure blueblooded telekinetic will. She screamed and flailed as she was guided through the air at speed and slammed into the wall on the other side of the room. The claws she wore dug defiantly into the wood, but as the invisible force pinning her half way up the wall tightened its grip around her throat, she found her strength withering.

Eridan roared and ran towards Nepeta, only to suddenly trip as a heavy object was kicked into his path. Ignoring the splinters in his hands and attempting to pick himself up off the floor, he refused to look back and instead continued forwards to the girl dangling in mid-air, gasping for breath.

Grabbing at her jerking legs, he tugged downwards to try and pull her out of the telekinetic hold, but it was no use. Then he tried pushing her upwards in an attempt to stop the noose-like choke she was trapped in, but that also had no effect. Desperate, tears flooded down his face as he screamed, “Stop it! Vris, please! Just stop! She…she’s gonna die! I…what do you want? What do you want me to do? Tell me and I’ll do it! Just please fucking stop!”

Laughter rang from somewhere in the captain’s quarters, but it was impossible to pinpoint.

“Fine,” came a familiar voice. “Calm down, I wasn’t going to kill her. Well, not yet anyway.”

Nepeta’s green face suddenly brightened as she took her first deep breath in a while. She remained against the wall, still immobilised and barely able to wriggle a finger, but at least she was breathing now.

Eridan breathed his own sigh of relief as he stared up at the girl. Then he turned back to the rest of the room where his eyes beheld a legend; Marquise Spinneret Mindfang. Her home-sewn cobalt blue naval jacket danced just above the cuff of her signature candy red boots. The same shade of red, which he had heard was used to please her teammate at the time, also found its way onto her midriff in the form of a shiny belt which sat nicely below the dark colour of her t-shirt, brightened only by another shimmer of cobalt which formed her sign. And of course, there was the dreaded hook at the end of her metal arm, primarily used for gutting and gathering her slain enemies into convenient piles so they could be transported in bulk to her waiting lusus.

He was both mesmerised and disgusted by the sight of her. But then something else in the room caught his attention.

“Oh my…” he stuttered, hardly able to speak. So instead he just let out an awful wail, which turned into a piercing scream, which turned into distraught sobs. Then the smell hit him, and he vomited on the floor.

“Ugh, gross,” Vriska said, making a face. “What, you’ve never seen a dead body before?”

“It’s…”

“Great! I know right?” she cackled. “No more stupid rules to follow, no more prodding me back in line or whatever. I finally get to do what I want to.”

“Oh my God…” Nepeta whimpered from above. “Terezi…”

Dried teal blood stained the troll’s flarping costume and ran in crusty lines down her pale and blotchy arms. Her husk of a body lay slumped on the ground, a decaying arm trapped under her concaving stomach from where she had been violently shoved into the path of Eridan only a few moments before. Her cheek bones were prominent on her sickly, almost white, face and across those bones were more scabs and discolouration as a result of both time and hungry creatures from beneath the floorboards feasting on the carcass. Upon her dry, split, greying lips lay a few smears of darkened blood which led a trail down her hardened jaw until it met with another frozen stream of colour. If followed, this line of teal led upwards to the crisp waterline of a pair of fading yellow eyes, unnaturally wide and transfixed ahead towards nothingness. They wondered whether that liquid had once been blood or tears.

“How could you?” Eridan growled, wiping his mouth and looking up at the monster before him.

“Very easily, actually,” Vriska informed them. She pulled out Terezi’s red dragon cane from the inside of her coat and tapped it rhythmically on the ground as she walked towards them. “It happened at the very beginning, just when I zapped Tavros and Aradia off the face of Alternia. Terezi said I wasn’t playing fair, and when she refused to back down I decided I’d show exactly how fair I could play! So I challenged Redglare to a dual.”

“And you murdered her?” Eridan spat. “Just like that?”

“Yes! It was THAT easy!” she burst out laughing again. “I knew she wouldn’t be able to go through with it, and that was the key to it all. When she hesitated, I went in for the kill.”

“You’re disgusting,” he hissed, standing up straight and placing a firm hand on his crosshairs. “She was your friend.”

“I’m not friends with losers,” she retorted.

Eridan jerked his gun to the front and pointed it directly towards Vriska, but she had already anticipated his movements and quickly dodged to the side as the gun blew a burning hole through the wall behind her.

Before he had a chance to pull the trigger again, she ran up to him and barged him into the same wall as Nepeta. She clenched her hand around his throat, digging her yellow nails into the sensitive slits of his gills as she used her other hand to tear his weapon away from him. The gun went flying to the other side of the room.

“Get off!” He snarled as she pressed him helplessly against the wall. He shook his head violently in an attempt to dislodge the wandering grip of her fingers on his neck. “You’re being really fucking weird!”

“Oh come on,” she said with a devilish jitter, leaning closer to him so that her blue lips grazed his jawline seductively. “You know you like it.”

“He said get off!” Nepeta yelled from beside them, higher up the wall. “Let him go right now!”

Vriska sighed dramatically before raising her thumb and index finger in the air, then she sharply brought them together. At the same exact moment, Nepeta’s mouth slammed shut so that only soft mumbles could escape her lips.

“Sorry about that,” she said with a roll of her eyes and a perverse smile. “Now, where were we?”

She reached upwards again and this time lightly kissed his jawline, opening her mouth ever so slightly so to leave a little wet mark as she softly climbed higher up to the black lips of her prey. Eridan fought back by shaking his head again, throwing her off him and making it difficult to continue.

“Ow!” he cried, looking at her with disbelief. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

She licked the violet droplets on her lips and bared her sharp fangs. “If you behave, I won’t have to do that again,” she warned, before adding, “Unless you want me to.”

“You’re such a revolting person,” Eridan growled as she once again pushed her body against his. “There’s something wrong with you. You’re sick.”

“Something wrong with ME?” she repeated, somewhat shocked. “I’m the one who’s been doing everything right! I’m the one who’s been playing by the rules!”

“Sure, because killing your friends is the right thing to do,” he replied angrily.

“There’s nothing in the FLARP rules against it,” she pointed out, detaching from Eridan for a moment to look him in the eye. “You guys were all breaking the rules by not playing in-character! Terezi said she’d play ball, but in the end she didn’t. That whole Team Charge kidnap shit? Redglare would have been so down for that, but she broke character and said no. Killing her was my only option, because it’s what I, Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, would do to anyone on my ship who disobeyed my orders.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. You’re just a bad troll.” Eridan argued, glaring at her defiantly. “That shit you pulled was pointless and stupid.”

“I’m a great troll. This is what the higher castes are meant to do. We kill things!” she cried back at him. “And once I killed Terezi what did you expect me to do? Just casually bring it up in a memo? Fuck no! I’d started so I had to finish this mess of a game!”

“By pretending to be the person you’d murdered in cold blood?!”

Her mouth stretched into a grin. “I was good though, wasn’t I?” she beamed, evidently proud of herself. “I practised a lot. Although, sometimes I messed up a little bit…I guess you just rile me up on Trollian too much!”

“I knew something was up,” Eridan snarled, piecing things together in his head. “Ter was acting like a bitch.”

“Seems like our hate transcends even my roleplaying!” she cackled again and this time lunged forwards and slammed her lips into his. He clamped his shut and turned his head away.

“Ged heh fugh koff,” he mumbled through tight lips. “Ids nod like dat!”

“Oh sure it is,” she said, a line of saliva stringing along to link her lips to his as she drew away. “You know it is. You hate me. And I mean reeeeeeeeally hate me. And I feel the exact same way about your pointless wretch of a life. So just give in to it already.”

She pushed him into the wall harder, her nails now clutching at him so hard that she was beginning to tear through the cloth and rip into his flesh. Once again she went for his lips, sucking them dry with her venom bite before opening up her own to consume him. He bit down on her hard.

“Augh!” she exclaimed, breaking away and feeling the blood release from her bottom lip. She glared at him, “touché.”

She attacked again, this time biting all the way up his neck so that he writhed in pain before she silenced his yelps by plunging her tongue into his mouth. Even their tongues fought for domination, but of course Vriska’s eventually tackled his down.

She released him from the kiss, content with her battle. “So how’d you li-”

Suddenly Eridan managed to grasp a chunk of Vriska’s hair from where his arm was pinned against the wall. With a strong tug, he pulled her stumbling closer to him and locked her in another vicious kiss. Just as she started to kiss back, he used his foot to trip her so that, with a shriek, she fell to her knees with her hair still being pulled painfully upwards.

She winced in pain. When she opened her eyes fully her mouth morphed into a wicked grin as she stared straight ahead. “A bit hasty, aren’t we?” she chortled mischievously, her nose pressing at a very specific height of his trouser leg.

“Let’s put that down to luck,” he grumbled in reply.

She laughed loudly and announced, “I have all the luck!” before reaching forwards and biting down on his bulge.

“HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT.”

Eridan collapsed to the ground and Vriska allowed him a moment to recover while she convulsed in a fit of maniacal laughter.

Furious, he pounced onto the girl and slammed her back powerfully into the floor. “Enough messing around!” he shouted. “People are dead because of you, Vris! DEAD! And now you have to face the fucking music for that shit.”

“Oh who cares?!” She rolled her eyes. “Rule breakers get killed, them’s the breaks!”

“It’s just a game, Serket,” he growled from above her. Grabbing her forehead, he pushed her head backwards so that she could see the decaying face of Terezi Pyrope up close on the floor. “It’s just a fucking game.”

“It’s not just a game!” She wailed, eyes entranced by the body. Wait…were those tears? No way. No fucking way.

“What the hell…?”

“It’s not just a fucking game, ok? Not to me.” Her voice drifted off softly. Her voice drifted to another thought. Her watery eyes flicked to the boy above her. “What’s your lusus like, Eridan?”

“Er, alright, I guess,” he replied, a little confused.

She gave a little smile. “That’s nice, at least,” she said quietly. But then her face hardened and she began to frown. “Mine’s a real bitch. And she’s only becoming a bigger bitch each day. She just grows and grows and that means she gets hungrier and hungrier, so who’s responsibility is it to satisfy that need? Mine. Or otherwise she’s going to get so hungry she might eat me! Or just die, I don’t know, either way I’m dead. So I need to go round up kids to feed her, and I’ve always done that through flarping because it’s not…me. It’s not me killing trolls, it’s a character I made up. But when people break the rules and don’t stay in-character that ruins the whole thing! It ruins everything for me! So do you get why I had to do it?”

“That’s no excuse.”

“Yes it is,” she growled. “It’s not like I wanted to kill her. I didn’t want to kill anyone, but I HAD to!”

“There’s never an excuse to kill your friends.”

“Didn’t I just say I didn’t want to?!” she cried angrily. “If it wasn’t for that weirdo messaging me all the time I probably wouldn’t have done it at all! But he just pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed me!”

“What guy?” Eridan asked, suddenly a little lost.

“This random guy who won’t leave me alone, he’s been bothering me for perigees.” She sighed fiercely and diverted her gaze. “He types in this annoying white text and is so damn condescending. He’s always acting like he knows exactly what I’m going to do, and even if I don’t want to do it he’ll twist my words until I convince myself into it!”

“So you’re blaming all your killings on this one guy no one’s ever heard of?” he said, still caging her in from above. “Sure, that sounds fucking believable.”

“You don’t have to believe me but it’s true,” she spat. “He’s been helping me through this whole mess. Not that I wanted his help, but he does have some weird skills that came in kind of useful. Like with all the codes and hacking shit.”

“Of course, Sol said you were probably getting help. Poor guy,” he paused for a moment as his heart fluttered in remembrance of his departed friend. Sure, he could be a giant bonebulge sometimes, but who couldn’t? He kind of wished he’d bothered to get to know him more. “His death is your fault too, you know. Since you were posing as Ter, you created the entire plan and set us up to fail. You murdered Sol and you didn’t even need to.”

“Oh he was annoying. Plus the pervo guy said he was getting close to cracking the codes and revealing that I was using Terezi’s account and stuff, so I had to get rid of him.” She shrugged, apparently unphased. “I mean, I guess it was a little shitty of me, but I couldn’t risk him messing with all the info white-text-guy was getting. Like, did you know I could read aaaaaaaall your messages?”

“What?” Eridan said as she burst into laughter.

“How do you think I made all the trials so specific?” she chuckled and giggled on the hard floor, like everything had suddenly become one big joke. “How do you think I knew how you felt about Feferi without reading through your chats with Karkat? How do you think I knew Nepeta was red for him? And how do you think I knew exactly what to make the holograms say to strike a nerve? You guys sure let a lot of things go over your little heads!”

“You think this is funny?” He snarled, grabbing the front of her t-shirt violently.

“Hilarious!”

His fist plummeted down onto her nose a split second later, crumpling the structure into her face and releasing the sickening crunching noise of broken bones. She cried out in pain and began to kick him off of her, yanking him to the side and climbing on top of him.

“I hate you!” she screamed, blood pouring from her nose. “I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, haaaaaaaate you!”

She punched him hard in the face again and again. Crunches and snaps could be heard as the skin on his cheeks busted and broke apart under the tremendous power of those amazing hits.

“You think you’re soooooooo great now, don’t you? You made friends with a stray and learnt to be ‘a better troll’, but we all know that’s a load of shit! You can be just as bad as me, and I’m teeeeeeeerible!” she roared, continuing to thrust her knuckles into the side of his weakening skull. But as she lost control of her emotions, Eridan could see Nepeta lowering slowly down the wall out of his swollen eyes. If Vriska lost control just a little more…

“You’re not that fucking bad to be honest,” he said weakly, gurgling violet blood out of his mouth. “I’ve heard of trolls doing worse…and really, if you’re this messed up by it…you’re probably not that good of a blueblood…”

She stopped punching for a second, shocked by the sudden change of tune. Then her expression crumpled into one of dismay as she grabbed his shoulders and screamed, “Oh so now I should have been worse, should I? What do you fucking want from me?! Do you want a wimpy wiggler or murderous psychopath? Make a fucking choice!!”

“I’m just saying…” he said, still dribbling blood from his mouth. “If you’re going to murder, you may as well make it good…not some half arsed attempt…”

“Well then aren’t you in for a damn treat, because you don’t even know the whole story! So reserve your stupid judgements until the end,” she snarled and delivered a sharp slap that stung like hell. “Want to know what else I did? For no other reason than just for fun? I fucking killed Tavros’ retarded lusus. Sollux did feed him and all that goodie-goodie stuff Aradia said, but Tavros was starting to look pretty fucking bad near the end. I wanted him to be there at the final battle, I wanted to see how cold I could make that fudge blood of his run! But he was in bad shape, so it was either let Tavros die or…make a little sacrifice.”

“Tinkerbull…” Eridan murmured, trying to make sense of what she was saying. “But he starved to death?”

“Yes he did,” she grinned devilishly. “The little beastie was fed, but Tavros needed that food. So I had to mind control Tavros a little and just help him to reeeeeeeeach in and…”

“Ughh!” Eridan howled, pushing Vriska away the best he could and shuffling a few feet from her. “What the…that’s so…that’s absolutely vile!”

“It is a bit gross, I will admit,” she said with a shrug. She grabbed his ankle and pulled him back towards her before using her legs to hold his limbs down on the ground. “Just be glad you didn’t have to indirectly do it like I did! Man it was so weird using Tavros’ animal commune powers to hold the thing still while making his arm go sliding down its greasy little throat…gives me the shivers just thinking about it!”

“So it should, you creep!” he yelled, revolted. “Is this how you get off? Mind controlling trolls into killing their own lusi?”

“Oh don’t act so high and mighty,” she cried out with a menacing chuckle. “Have you forgotten that you kill kids’ lusi as your day job?”

“That’s to feed the Gl’bgolyb, that’s different,” he replied defensively. “I’m saving your asses from the vast glub and you’re just killing for the hell of it.”

“I told you I’m not killing for the hell of it, I have to feed my lusus! Just like you have to feed Feferi’s.” she argued, her thick hair falling down onto his face. “Or, I guess you don’t? I mean, she’s not your matesprit or your moirail and that thing isn’t your lusus…oh wow, so really you’re the one killing for the hell of it, not me!”

“Fef can’t do it all on her own, and it’s my duty as her friend to help her,” he said in response. “Because that’s what you’re meant to do with friends: help each other.”

“Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!” she mocked. “Stop acting like you’re above me already!”

She forced her feet down harder on his kneecaps, listening to the delicate cracks as he slammed his mouth shut to stop himself crying out. Stretched out over him to pin down his arms and legs, Vriska had left her entire body open for an attack if Eridan chose to take the opportunity. However, he had taken too much damage from her last punches to his temple, and now doubted he could even lift a finger. He tried anyway, and was thankful to feel a little movement as his finger quivered by his side. But what good was that? He could open the menu and quickly abscond through logging out like any sane troll would do, but then he’d be leaving Nepeta stuck to the wall as the spider’s main meal…

“So you dropped your weird fascination with the fish girl and became a little less of an ass to people. Big fucking deal!” Vriska raved on, angrily. “I mean, your quadrants don’t even make sense; you get this cute little red crush and suddenly all your problems are fixed? That’s moirailgeance, dumbass! Pick a quadrant already, it’s getting boring!”

“What are you even talking about?” he asked, but regretted it immediately.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” she said with exasperation. “Our romance hasn’t been the only to bloom these last couple of weeks, has it?”

“You’re talking about…Ar and Tav?”

“What, no!” she grunted with impatience and landed another sharp blow to his head. “Stop playing around, I’m tired of it!”

Vriska let go of one of his limp arms and reached in her coat for something.

“I’ve been watching this achingly slow solicitation for forever! Do you have any idea how frustrating that is? I’ve been working my ass off to get you two closer, but you’re really dragging this out. It was meant to be a laugh but it’s turning out to be infuriating!” She raised her arm above the two of them to reveal the glint of a blade. “So you better tell me your true feelings already or I’m going to ram this cutlass through your torso, ok?”

“Whoa, calm down for a second,” Eridan spluttered on the floor. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Vris, just put the sword down.”

“You’re such a liar!” she cried furiously. Her arm sprang backwards so that the cutlass pointed towards Nepeta, but she kept her wildfire eyes on her blackrom suitor. “I’m talking about her and you know it! You and Nepeta! Tell me about your romantic feelings for her!”

“I don’t have any romantic feelings, what the fuck are you on about?!” he protested. “And even if I did they’d be none of your business!”

“No way, I’ve waited too long not to get an answer,” Vriska said, bringing the sword back over to the boy below her. “I want a dramatic declaration. Right here, right now!”

“No, I don’t want to.”

She brought the cutlass down fast but halted just as the pointed tip of the blade picked at the skin of his neck. The bluff had been more than enough to scare him and he spent the next few seconds trying to slow his breathing and regain control of his nerves.

“Is that the best you’ve got?” he baited bravely, suppressing the waver in his voice.

“Oh no, not by a long shot,” she grinned.

Vriska took the cutlass away from his neck and this time repositioned the blade on his shoulder, brushing his purple coat to the side.

“Tell me,” she ordered, and pressed down on the sharp point so that it broke through his thin shirt and dug its way into his skin.

“Auughh…!” he wailed in pain. He tried to shake free but the more he struggled the faster she would wriggle the blade and hack away his flesh. “No!”

“Tell me!” she demanded, angrier this time.

Now she clutched the handle of her weapon tighter and forced it further into his body. Eridan could feel his grey skin being ripped apart under his shirt, he could feel the unnatural metal blade just scraping the edge of the deltoid muscle deep inside him. The pain was unlike anything he had ever experienced before.

“Stop!” he screamed desperately. “PLEASE!”

Vriska smiled. She pushed down on the sword one more time, provoking another violent cry from her foe, before dislodging her weapon and raising it high above her head.

“Last chance, Eridan,” she warned in an eerily sing-song voice. “Or this next one will tear right through you! I’ll leave you to bleed out on the floor, right next to Terezi, see? And you’ll never wake up. So this is it, what’ll it be?”

“I…”

“Three…” she counted, a grin plastered to her menacing face.

He didn’t know what to say. What could he possibly say? He stole a glance at the angel standing behind the demon. Oh fuck, what was he supposed to do?

“Two…”

He opened his mouth to speak. He didn’t know what, but he had to say something! Anything! Anything to force this horrifying troll poised above him to hesitate! But no sound came out…

“One…”

Oh God…this was really it, wasn’t it?

“Pity,” she frowned. “You’re no fun.”

A swift motion.

“I’m r….!” he blurted but his words trailed into void. Eridan slowly turned to look at his right shoulder, so slowly it was like he was in a dream, and saw the unmistakable blue crescent handle of Mindfang’s famous cutlass… sticking out of his violet stained flesh.

“Oh sorry, what were you saying there?” asked a sickly sweet voice.

“I…” he mumbled, still staring at the weapon jammed into his body. It was strange; he couldn’t feel the heavy pain he had felt earlier anymore, instead reality felt light and hazy. He felt like he could suddenly see everything more clearly. The noise of the situation had been silenced, the overwhelming energy and passion had been subdued so that he was now left with a bizarre feeling of simplicity. It’s weird what being stabbed will do to you; as your blood leaks between the floorboards and you feel yourself drifting away, the trivial notions that concerned you so ardently only moments before suddenly seemed ridiculous. This was what it was all about. Life and death. Not games or revenge or fear, none of that matters when it comes down to those last crucial seconds. To onlookers in the real world, Eridan continued to stare at his wound for the next few minutes, but for him, well…he had travelled somewhere far away, deep inside his mind. In his ever-cluttered and confused head he sorted through some issues that had previously troubled him, suddenly able to find the simple solutions he had previously ignored. For in those few minutes of dazed consciousness he made the introspective discovery of his lifetime: he found hope.

“I’m red for her…”

“What?” Vriska said. She had just stood up and placed her hand on the handle of the sword still embedded in her enemy’s body. “Man, I thought you passed out.”

“I’m red for Nep…”

“It’s too late now, Ampora.” She sighed, almost as if genuinely disappointed. “You had your chance and you blew it.”

“I’m red for Nep.”

“I know, dude,” she frowned, slightly confused. “You just said that.”

“I’m red for her…because she’s amazing…” he said, breathing in sharp breaths.

“Ok, good for you…”

“And she’s so kind…” he grunted as the pain began to seep back into his reality.

“Sure, let’s say that. Are you done?”

“And what makes me really love her…” he winced as Vriska tried to dislodge her weapon from his torso before a rare kind of smile spread across his face. “…is that she’s the bravest girl I know…”

Four shiny blue blades were all it took. A sharp thrust from her hand, and the razors tore through the marquise’s thick coat and clawed their way through the blue arteries to rebirth on the other side of the girl’s chest.

This time it was Vriska’s turn to stare, transfixed by the gaping holes through her body as Nepeta yanked back her hand and let her victim collapse to the ground.

“Are you ok?” Nepeta asked nervously, quickly rushing to Eridan’s side and leaving Vriska to squirm in devastating pain on the floor.

“I…I think so,” he replied weakly, taking her hand and interlocking their fingers. “It was just my shoulder, so hopefully it should heal...”

“Only if we stop the bleeding,” she lectured and unclipped her neckerchief to tie it tightly around the wound, slowing the gushing rivers of violet. “Leave the cutlass in there for now, but as soon as you log out you have to get a first aid kit, ok?”

“Ok,” he said with a smile. “And thanks.”

She smiled back, “It’s fine.”

A few seconds of wordless, but beautifully comfortable, silence passed.

“So, about what you said,” she whispered, blushing olive shyly but keeping her big fluttering eyes on his. “Did you really mean it?”

“Every word.”

Nepeta gazed at their hands, still together and sharing each other’s warmth, and she found herself smiling so wide she almost started laughing. Her eyes floated down to meet his again. Leaning down to the injured troll, she planted a soft, delicate kiss on his lips. As Eridan began to kiss back, she couldn’t help but release a giggle.

“What’s up?” he asked, allowing himself to chuckle quietly too.

She beamed, resting her forehead on his and giggling again.

“I’m just so happy,” she breathed blissfully. Eridan ran his fingers through her soft hair and placed his warm lips on hers again as she lay down next to him on the ground.

Remaining in their tender embrace and delicately pressing against each other’s supple lips, Eridan’s index finger swiped down lightly in the air.

“Ready to go?” he asked, breaking away from her momentarily.

She smiled and nodded. It was time.

*player caligulasAquarium [CA] has logged out*  
*player arsenicCatnip [AC] has logged out*  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there we go, that's the end! I hope you enjoyed reading The Dangerous Kind as much as I enjoyed writing it :) I really appreciate every single person who reads my work, so thank you so much!
> 
> If you really liked this then feel free to read my other stuff, and I will probably write some brand new stories at some point in the near future too.
> 
> Once again, thank you to all and goodbye you lovely Homestucks :D


End file.
